I really love the one with Galatea and Pygmalion. Pygmalion was a sculptor who made a beautiful ivory statue of a woman and he fell in love with it, so Aphrodite came down and was all like "alright, you thirsty ass man, here BAM I turned your statue into a woman." And Pygmalion was all like "AW MAW GAWD! Thank you so much!!" and Galatea was all like "da fuqq?" and Aphrodite was all like (while chewing gum) "so, like, y'all wanna get married?" and Galatea and Pygmalion were like "HELL YEAH!" So Aphrodite married them and they had two daughters. The end.
I am also a fan of the Daphne and Apollo story. Apollo was just a plain old thirsty homeboy, lounging about shooting arrows at the sun or whatever, cuz what do fuckboys do? So one day he was strolling around and he saw this fine lil' ol' thang walking by the river, and he was like "DAAAYYUUUMMMM LEMME HOLLA AT CHU!" Daphne was all like "naaaah, son, swerve" and Apollo was all like "why tho?" and Daphne was like "cuz, I don't want no scrub!" and then she walked off. So Apollo was all like, "pft, you ugly anyway!" and left to meet up with his boy Eros.
Now, Eros was one of those yuppies who got a job at his mom's company because nepotism, so he really didn't care much about his job. So he met up with Apollo and he was all like "Yo, Apollo, what's good fam?" and Apollo was like "I just saw the finest lil' thing down by the river, but she blew me off, man." So Eros, being the great thinker he is, told Apollo "Yo, you know I got these from my job, just slip them in her drink and she'll fall in love with you instantly!" Apollo said "Yo, my man, forreal?? Thanks!" So Eros gave Apollo one of his "golden arrows" and slipped a "lead arrow" into Daphne's drink. But Daphne, being the bad bitch she is, was drinking too much and when it was time to leave the club she had to go to the bathroom to throw up, no sexy time in her mind with Apollo. But Apollo, was ready to go, so he started chasing her, yelling things like "but I bought you drinks! Come on, just 30 minutes! You HAVE to!" but Daphne only wanted to throw up her alcohol and go to sleep. She was so tired, though, all that dancing left her drained and Apollo was catching up to her, the effects of the golden arrow apparent through his ripped white jeans. So Daphne, disgusted, yelled out to her father "EW! I'D RATHER BE WOOD THAN GET WOOD!" So her dad was like, "alright" and turned her into a tree.
The next day, Apollo felt betrayed and had major blue-balls, so he went to the tattoo shop and got the name "Laurel" on his bicep. When his boy Eros asked him "yo, who's Laurel? I thought the chick's name was Daphne?" Apollo answered "OH, Lmao, whatever, bruh, idc." The end.