When family doesn't support your goals

[whirlwyndstorm]

My parents didn't support my art and writing when I was younger, but my story in this case ended up on a happier note. I always used to hear from them what a "waste of time" all my work was, how I'd better focus on more "real" things, etc. In the past they'd been very practical people, went into what jobs would get them the most money and not what they were interested in, and while I don't think they expected the same for me and my brother, they didn't think much of more creative career paths.

Then one day I was doing something else and my mom came into the room and said, "Why aren't you writing? You should get on that."

I spent the whole day in confusion. I finally brought it up to my dad later and he said, "Oh, I guess she found your website and read your stuff. She said it was really, really good."

What happened later on actually ties in with what you talk about people on their deathbed regretting their life choices. I eventually ended up getting into the industrial field because I needed the money, but I kept my work going on the side. Unfortunately, working 12-hour days up to seven days a week didn't leave me enough time to build a viable career with my stories, but I still kept at it. I built up a lot of resources while I was working in factories and learned a lot.

Then I was hit by a car.

It took a little over half a year to get out of physical therapy and I still have a few lingering problems but for the most part I'm OK. I'm still thankful I had that job at the time because I would have never been able to pay off the medical bills. It did shift my perspective, though. I could have easily been killed, there's so many stories around here about fatal pedestrian-auto crashes. I did a serious re-evaluation of my life, and even though quitting a well-paying job was a scary prospect, I realized that if I stayed the course I was on and never even tried to be a full-time storyteller, I would regret it for sure. (The fact that the job was really stressful helped the decision, though)

My last day at the factory was a little over a month ago, so I have yet to see how this "follow your dream" thing works out for me.

My dad has really changed since then. His job burnt him out and now he's very supportive of me and my brother chasing our dreams. Mom though -- the day she found out I was quitting she called me up in a panic asking me what I was going to do for money. What I did to gain her support was let her in on my business and production plans and marketing strategies.

[OgonoArtFamily]

Yeah definitely, that tends to be the mindset of a lot of older gen parents or even some people now. But yeah, I'm sure they don't mean anything bad about it. Although a narrow perspective, I'm sure they want the best. (at least what they think is best). A lot of people tend to pay attention where the money leads. Priorities are money over passion and i don't blame them. Society is pretty rough as it is. But there comes a time in someone's life were they just say "Screw it" and risk it. I feel as long as your happy along the journey keep on going even if you need to sacrifice relationships(As in friends, family is another story). In time, the people doubting may be the ones asking you for advice.

[OgonoArtFamily]

I've had the same experience, not with parents, but other older people. I found some of the stories of the comic will go way over their heads. Kinda like teaching an older person that is not exposed to technology growing up on how to turn on a computer). That they'll forget the next day. But these older-gen peoplehave a huge interest the inter-web. I guess you have a similar situation, in which, they want to keep updated with your life and support you. It may seem odd and feel like a mixture of feelings. But they care. I just think it'll go over their heads.
(Personal Experience with like 3 older generation people)This isn't always the case tho lol

[OgonoArtFamily]

"sinful" comics? Are they religious parents? Are your comics like NSFW material or just something else? Because I know there are some people that claim Pokemon, Harry Potter or anything magical to be devil work without really looking into the topic.

[OgonoArtFamily]

Keep on going bro! Take advantage of the opportunity

[NickRowler]

While my parents are pretty liberal about most things, they are not very pro-LGBT. Add that they are very iffy about non-Christian things surrounding marriage and sexuality. Like sex before marriage, unmarried couples living together, and such. My parents are a bit judgmental of my brother and his girlfriend in that sense, and I don't really want to talk about what happened when one of my little sisters tried to join a Gay/Straight Alliance at her school.

I guess when these subjects pop up on TV and such, they shrug it off (because they have no control over that) but when it effects someone near them, they go into lecture mode. I HATE the lectures so much, I am almost 26, I don't need to be lectured on this crap. So for now, me and my comic are going to sit in a closest because I don't want to deal with that.

Also, my current comic is secular with only slight references to paganism. Christmas and Easter do not exist in my comic. That might also bug them.

(My grandparents however...they are totally the "everything is the devil" type.)

[OgonoArtFamily]

Perhaps this is something they won't come to understand for quite a while( or never) . I mean, if they spent their entire life growing up to believe something regardless of its "right or wrong" it can be difficult for a lot of folks to turn their view around(even with facts presented to them). But regardless of what they think keep on doing what you do. In this world, it's impossible to please everyone. People will hate you for being fake and people will still hate you for being yourself. Keep on going bro

[OgonoArtFamily]

Thanks for sharing an awesome experience of yours :). Parents like that tend to be closed off to their child's interests completely. However, in this case, through your determination to your craft. I guess your mom was like: "Why is "whrlwyndstorm" so interested in this stuff". Eventually making her give it a chance. I'm also happy to hear you took the risk to quit the high paying job at the factory. Life choices like these are exciting, yet scary at the same time. A test of a person's character.

[vongcw]

Choices are hard to make. On the one hand, I just can't live the way they want me to live. I wouldn't be living. I'd just be existing (miserably) in someone else's interpretation of what my life should be. On the other hand, living in disapproval is painful and difficult. Not giving in to anger, hatred, shame, and blame, is a daily stance I have to discipline myself to take.

[KSlinger]

I watched the video and I know where you're coming from completely. Might not have had it as bad as some people here but I've certainly been given a lot of flack from family about my interests too. Some don't understand art and writing and don't care enough to learn. Some have the 'I gave up on my dreams because life is hard, why should you do any better?' attitude. Some just think it's plain weird and that spending your time constructing imaginary worlds is embarrassing.

And it hurts. Gosh it hurts. But you learn where to find the support you need eventually. You also grow older and begin to care less. You realise the people criticising you have been miserable their whole lives and gave up on every spark of creativity they ever had, most before they ever tried to make something of it, because of fear and insecurity and laziness. Why would you take advice from people like that? Any what business do they have telling you what do to anyway? They're just people. What makes them think they have the answers?

All you can do is buck up and keep doing the things you enjoy. What the hell else is life for? You'll come across people who do care about what you do before long. I have an amazing group of on and offline friends who go out of their way to learn about art and help me unrequested. I'm so grateful to have them. Things were tough before they came around.

You also learn who not to talk to about these things. A good rule of thumb is: if someone thinks what you love is worthless enough to mock, they lose the privilage of knowing that part of you. Reserve your talent and imagination for those who help it grow, not stomp it down. You may get burned a few times before you learn that though. There's no harm in hoping people can change.

Just gotta keep chugging. You don't have to justify yourself any more than someone needs to justify going for a walk or eating cake or getting punched in the face, if that's what they're into. Life's too short for that anyway.

[OgonoArtFamily]

Keep on going. You got my support and i guess you'll have deloveped a stronger character going through all that hardship.

[OgonoArtFamily]

I agree. People have already given up and would like to project their issues/problems on to you. But on the opposite side to those people who have already found success. The successful people would keep pushing to follow your goals. I think both ends of the spectrum care in their own way. Both are trying to put out an open hand to you. BUT the difference is one hand is poisonous and the other isn't. Connect with people with the non-poisonous hand and I'm happy you found a support network! As you said: Just keep chugging!