"When will you stop relaxing and start to work normally?"

[kimketli]

I'm curious how many of you got similar questions from their relatives like I got today.
To make it clean "stop relaxing" mean in this context "stop making comic" and "work normally" means "work for monthly payment".
We can say, relatives are worried about you, but my opinion is if they would be really worried about you they would ask "how can I help you in your business?" but no... They never ask this.

When you don't do anything else but drawing, eating, sleeping, cleaning, sometimes make a forum post, but don't play games, don't watch tv, just focus. And the end of a process you get some likes, couple of nice comment and a question like this from a very close relative(yeah, one of the two closest... :/). I'm angry, because when I'm angry about something like this I can not work normally.... Or even listen music. Just consuming myself...
Sorry, I'm triggered a bit right now...

[minerrale]

I think a lot of us had that sort of comments. I remember the look on my mom's face when I said I was going to drop everything and be a professional writer... Not nice.
BUT
I just told her it was my life, my choices. Also something like "look at your bank account. Look at mine. Who's been in the red for 20 years? There you go".
Anyway, I understand your anger, it's so annoying when your closest relatives don't seem to understand your choices... But eventually it'll work out for you, and then you can show them how wrong they were!

[GusC]

Creative pursuits are inherently very risky and take a very long time to come to fruition. That makes them a foolish gamble to many people, which it honestly is. Odds are You are far better off having a 9-5 job and spending the rest of your time working on your projects than you are just slaving away on an art project.

Your loved ones will see your independent creative project as the insane gamble that it usually is, and they will act accordingly. Honestly, you can satisfy both their and your expectations and concerns by having a day job, if you don’t have one now.

This can be a dangerous mindset but there is SOME legitimacy in the idea that non creative people will not be able to understand a creative persons compulsion to work on their creative pursuits. If it’s your family applying pressure, you have an obligation to care for their concerns.

[kimketli]

The problem is when I had 9-5 job, that wasn't good either, because they don't really understood it(it is mainly three of them)... I earned more money then this relative of mine who said that beautiful question, but that job wasn't enough either. This particular relatives asks me all the time "why you don't go to be a nurse?"... A nurse! One of the most underpaid job in Hungary, what also needs a lot of school years. And I don't even care about that carrier at all. (btw nurses are important, but I hope my point is understandable about my interests)
So no.... My "loved one" is not concerned about my money situation.

[J.Lovelace]

Oh boy, where do I start.
My dad constantly complains and treats me like garbage, because I can't find a job. And let me specify - a job that HE wants me to have (aka high position in some big shot company). I got hired as a seamstress once, and he still kept belittling me that it's a shit job and he's ashamed to admit to the whole family that his daughter who went to university works as a lowly seamstress. Despite shamelessly asking for money from me.
I was just happy to get ANYTHING at all. I quit a year later because the boss started to pay me whenever he pleased (as in: sometimes I was without a pay for two months and then I only got half of the money anyway, and that happens in a lot of the companies in the area)

That's pretty much all there is, my dad just wants to brag and rub it in his siblings face that his children are better.
He gets FURIOUS whenever I'm drawing comics and commissions. He says drawing is garbage, I'm a nobody and that I will die a nobody, that I'm lazy to pursue a carreer, that I ruin this family with my "attitude" (whenever I talk back he starts a huge drama) etc etc and he repeatedly demands that I stop it and "get a real job".
I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do any drugs, don't go to parties, etc, I generally avoid any potential drama but I am still the worst person in the world to him, because I have no prestige job for him to brag about and just feel like high and mighty asshole to look down on everyone.

Ain't that fun?

[unknown_user]

I'm curious how many of you got similar questions from their relatives like I got today.To make it clean "stop relaxing" mean in this context "stop making comic" and "work normally" means "work for monthly payment". We can say, relatives are worried about you, but my opinion is if they would be really worried about you they would ask "how can I help you in your business?" but no... They never ask this.

It is hesitating to say it and I'm sorry if this will turns out rude... but the most likely reason of discontent of relatives is that someone should feed indie creator, while their creative work doesn't bring income. And the relatives often are exactly these "someone".
People may say a lot of things about love and kindred feelings, but let's face the truth: nobody actually like to maintenan someone financially for years without gaining anything in return, and it is understandable.
For example, parents often support their children financially for a long time, but actually it is made not disinterestedly. They are awaiting that their children will do what parents want, and, eventually, will support them in their oldery. So they usually want children to gain professional knowledge and make a reliable career (or at least make a family with a wealthy spouse).

I can't condemn any of the sides of this conflict.

[kimketli]

Oh, shit... You have much more right to be angry than me.
I know it is horrible, but now I'm a bit calmer.
Sorry about your dad though.

[kimketli]

Yeah, a concern from a family member who pays your bills would be more understandable. Maybe in a less "bullying" form. A more adult form.

But in my case, these relatives never payed my bills. One of them did, half of them, for a really short time of my early childhood but the others, neeeeever ever.

[J.Lovelace]

Your reason to be angry is just as valid as mine UvU
If it made you feel better then I'm glad my struggle is not in vain. I wish you all the best thumbs up

One day karma will even it out. One day.

[unknown_user]

Well, in this case it looks like just a regular obtrusion of their life views.
By the authors of "When will you find a husband?", "When will we see grandchildren?" etc.

[joannekwan]

In reality the only person asking this question to me is myself.
Recently I've been getting over an illness from late August of last year. The doctor says I'm in the clear now but I am unsure if I really am up for my full work load again. I still feel listless some days and I wonder if I'm just making an excuse to put things off more.

This feeling sucks.

[SilentHamster102]

"When will you find a husband?", "When will we see grandchildren?" etc.

Oh shit I'm bored of that crap already. I'm turned 24 and some relatives already saying "I already had a wife and child at this age".
Damn, I'm not a socialized person at all, I never was on the date, I can not call somebody on the date, I don't want to date with anybody, all I want is to go to the army and later join the police force to beat all the crap out from criminal scum (and draw my comic after work, of course), leave me alone already. And I'll say it openly at one day, just not this day

[kimketli]

Don't be too hard on yourself.
If it helps, try to work on your stuff in little portion, like 5 mins everyday. Usually it helps to lit the fire.

[kimketli]

"When will you find a husband?", "When will we see grandchildren?"

yeah, I love those as well....
They can become crazy when I say I don't plan to be married, and don't want children at all.
They want to throw holy water on me.

[Kura]

My parents were both musicians so art carriers and the general understanding of what they imply is generally understood by my parents. Having a fluctuating paycheque is frustrating for them yet understandable, and though they do wish I would get something more stable they also understand my point of view.

Other relatives in my family do not have this mindset though, and they generally fall into two groups.

Group 1: Asking me when I'm going to grow up or finally get out of this phase and do real work that contributes to society.
Group 2: Relatives that have generally accepted that this is my job right now but seem to think that I'm not only rolling in money, but it's all 'EASY MONEY' because I'm not 'actually working' because they don't think art is actually work and that people pay millions for a single picture =/ This one usually accompanied by them lamenting about how they wish they had 'talent' and didn't have 'hard jobs' and could do something easy like me.

[kimketli]

ayayayyyy.
Ahhhaaaa. So when we work for months and earn cents through tipping... That is easy money. Good to know, thanks clever relatives!

[amortelito]

I guess I am the lucky one who has a supportive family. They even encourage my decision to make an art stuff business, at most they ask when I am going to start selling the products. My mom asked me yesterday "what can I do for you to get this done?". By the other hand, I have a paid job and I am able to contribute to the household, pay for my hobbie and I'm not mooching from anyone.

My big, big problem is that I'm too depressed to keep going with the business project and I have been working so many hours in my comic, which is for free. This comic is helping me grieve, I don't want to leave it.
I'm losing so much money and opportunities (and social time) for working so many hours on a comic that will lead me nowhere, but I enjoy and other people enjoy too.
I feel like I am cheating my loved ones by pretending I'm working on my big plans when in reality I am working on something that makes me so happy but is not what I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm not getting any younger and I need to make a decision soon, for my own good. Because I do need that stability and I am sure my family will start worrying when I fail to live up their expectations. I better stop "relaxing" soon.

[LT1986]

I believe that work should be put as a main priority and art should be put as a secondary priority, if one of the goals of the art is to make money and no money is being made. Art can become the main priority only when it makes more money than the main job. Now the people that are giving the advice about working normally but they don't help to pay the bills are right. I've been told things by strangers before that have actually helped me. Even though the strangers don't pay my bills, their advice still helped me. Their advice usually motivates me to fix the problem that they have pointed out. Sometimes the motivation comes from anger and sometimes it comes from agreeing with them. Either way makes me strive to improve.

[GamerPrincessXI]

I found this thread kinda sad . I actually work at a normal job but I grew bored of my weekends and evenings constantly being taken from me so I started drawing to escape. I ended up creating Nova and Max while still at my boring yet lovely yet seemly normal job.

[kip]

As an aside, I don’t think it’s expected (or should be expected) of relatives to ask about helping you in your business.

Anyway. I’m gonna give it straight to you bud,
Comic drawing is fun, for most of us, it’s a hobby, we do it because we enjoy it. Art is, in general, is. The point where it becomes work is when you’re being paid for it.
If you’re being paid for your comic work- awesome! That’s your job, tell them, “I make X a month drawing, I’m gonna put my time into it so I can earn my keep.”

If you don’t make any/enough money off comics/art a month... Then you’re just putting a lot of time into a hobby. Doesn’t matter how much you’re concentrating on it, doesn’t matter how much you’re not doing other things, you’re not getting any return other than your enjoyment and your finished works. If a teacher doesn’t get paid for his work teaching that just makes him a voleunteer, making teaching a hobby. A profession = something you’re paid to do.

If you want to put all that time into a hobby, that’s fine too? But that probbaly means you’re “leeching” off someone, and it’s expected in a society where most people work for their living “leeches” are treated kind of badly. (Hey, I’m currently a leech too!)

Consider looking into ways to get money from art quickly (comics is an incredibly slow and sometimes just impossible turnout. Commissions tend to be way quicker and more accessible, and there’s all sorts of work in between to get money from art), that way you’re improving your skills & still doing creative work while actually getting paid for it.
If you’re not skilled enough to get paid work from art, most people get a 9-5 and do half a day work half a day art.

Sorry to be so harsh, but your relatives may have a point.