Rey HAD a proper chance to be likable AND make her own decisions. The Force Awakens really makes her feel like "Yeah, she's got all these powers, she's just realizing how much she has," so I (and many old fans) thought that at least that movie or The Last Jedi, was going to show her being trained and her struggling. You know... like how real characters do. You don't just get all these special powers and NOT struggle. In ways, Rey is just fine when she's acrobatic swinging her bow-staff, but that kind of skill does not translate to wielding a lightsaber. I've seen many characters, both male and female in the Star Wars universe go through, or shown they already have gone through a multitude of training before becoming Jedi Masters. Aayla Secura, Asajj Ventress, Luke Skywalker, my boy Mace Windu (played by the one and only Samuel L. Jackson), Obi-Wan Kenobi when he was a Jedi Knight, and of course, Ahsoka Tano (the newest female Jedi before Rey). Hell, there's LOADS of other awesome characters from the Novels and Video Games too that are a lot better (good or bad) that Rey can't compare to, like Kyle Katarn or Mara Jade.
The one main reason why Rey escalates to such a level of Mary Sue is because she is NEVER shown to have any proper struggle. Sure, she's lost in Jakku and only found her way around to the First Order AND she doesn't know who her family was, but on the other side of that, we are never given any full reason to connect with her. We're just following her to the beginning and end while she's treated like this master of all Jedi Order when she has never even properly learned how to use her saber and all of the Force's special abilities. Everyone just suddenly runs to Rey when they're in trouble when everyone of them are specifically capable to handling things by themselves or as a team. And even if she DOES do something new and better in Rise of the Skywalker, it's only a half-hearted attempt in giving us a semblance of character in a time when she should have been expanded upon from the first movie. And we haven't gotten any side stories or comics or games or television shows that expand on Rey's backstory (which is where a huge glut of Star Wars has survived on since the end of both the Original Trilogy AND the Prequels). Rey feels like a hollow shell while everyone else is either moronic, killed off too soon, or just an outright fool who caused an entire fleet to be eradicated before hiding out in "Hoth 2" only to then be screwed over when Finn's attempted sacrifice was stopped by Rose Tico for no reason except "for who you love."
In the newest movies alone (the Rebels cartoon is different and alot better), Jyn Erso, is the only modern female Star Wars character I can say that I liked a lot despite her dying in Rogue One. Jyn came from a family who's dad was an engineer for the Empire, but when he disobeyed and ran off to hiding, Jyn had that weight hanging over her head for years to come. She lived nothing but a Rogue lifestyle, and it wasn't until having a run-in with the Rebels where she slowly had a change of heart during a mission to save her father. Then when he was assassinated by the General, that's when her Hope slowly died, but would rebuild when she and the others garnered the plans for the then-in-production Death Star. She was never in your face about who she was. She wasn't a baby having all of these destructive powers and never knowing how to use them or train, she was human. She acted like a real human being. Heck, even Princess Leia was more of a real character than Rey and she's not even a Jedi.
A lot of people hate Rey because for someone we're supposed to follow through a trilogy of movies as THE HERO, she's certainly not behaving, or being trained to be one. Personally, by the time Rise of the Skywalker comes around, I rather they just lift the curtain from over our eyes and tell us that Rey was a Sith Lord the entire time. THAT would change all our minds instead.
To me, Jar Jar Binks is a much better character than Rey, and he's been the punching bag for years. And that says a lot when a gangly, Jamaican-knockoff that fumbles around alot is better than this "newfound force user."
There is no feeling of Projecting ourselves into these characters here. This is the case of poorly-placed character development of a character who SOUNDED good on paper, but executed terribly in an overarching story that feels more disjointed than any comic continuity Marvel or DC could EVER put out.