Your biggest pet peeve about BL?

[candiedcotton]

I totally get where you're coming from. Honestly, just using... 'things' of any sort outside of the most generic action fathomable seems kind of rare for stories of any sexuality. There is so much more to intimacy than just the uh... grind.

[UrMom]

Riight?? That's why I like BDSM. It's this deliberate act that requires a lot of planning, care and attention, where all parties involved need to be consenting at every stage. It feels way more intimate than just... passionately throwing your partner on the bed to have the world's most vanilla sex. Toys are fun! Exploration is fun! Actively engaging with your partner(s) during sex is fun!

I get so excited when an adult comic goes the extra mile to flesh out the characters in the bedroom... or wherever they decide to bang, it's such a rare sight.

[candiedcotton]

Yeah, same.

My MC's personality is very much a service dom, and when I was thinking about it I couldn't remember a single title that had that specific dynamic. I looked all over and still couldn't find anything, and eventually even asked people in the community. Most people had no idea what it really was and were recommending stories involving abusive dominates who later would become nice, but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted a genuine story involving a couple where one was a proper service dom.

Still haven't found any examples. It's weird because IRL it's a really common dynamic.

[UrMom]

Aw man, that really sucks! I feel your pain. Sub and dom stuff (That isn't abusive.) is rare in general, the only comic I know of that even mentions it is Sunstone by Stjepan Šejić, and I can't say whether it depicts that kind of relationship well since I haven't had the chance to read it yet.

Also heeeey, one of my MCs may be the same? It's not depicted in my main comic, and he switches positions occasionally but is generally a submissive top or 'service top', which some people consider the same as a service dom? The fictional world needs more service tops/doms.

[candiedcotton]

Yeah it's the same thing, a service dom has different levels but generally is focused on caring for their partner. Pampering and focusing on making them feel good. They tend to be the lead in the relationship and thus have the 'dominant' role, but do so in a unique way that is more typically expected of a sub. It's one of my favorite dynamics in stories, just really hard to ever find.

A bit mature example...

An example might be tying up the sub and focusing on pleasing them (usually without having any sort of S&M but that can sometimes be present) and not letting them go until they're totally spent. The focus is always on pleasing their sub. So the D/S aspect is that the sub doesn't get to control the scene (outside of safe words and the like) but is still at the whim of their partner, but they aren't usually ever made to do anything. They get to lay back and enjoy the ride.

[RiidDisBuk3]

I am asexual myself. So I do not care about anything romance related, nor am I fan of sexual preferences.

I feel have no right to judge, but also feel that people have no right to judge me in this regard.

[krowthecrow]

mine is the couple gets together because one of them harassed the other

[JoshRaed]

It's an actual thing in the gay community where straight women have this weird desire to get trophy "gay guy bestie" and I fully blame media for it. It's a genuine thing and it's so weird.

I have a story idea that is actually built on this but taken to a more extreme version.

[mariamyakubu767]

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[mariamyakubu767]

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[mariamyakubu767]

You guys would make ANY excuse to defend bl Lol..like come on..just accept how weird and disgusting MAJORITY of the genre is and move on..not to mention the the mass amount of women that consume it and think it's okay to objectify real life gay men..like bro..and don't give me that lame excuse that "oh but not all bl is filled with stereotype and not all the fans fetishize it.." just because something bad has some few good things about it DOESN'T automatically make it a good thing..it is still a red flag and it deserves criticism.

[mariamyakubu767]

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[Kelheor]

@joannekwan

[mariamyakubu767]

So apparently criticizing something that is obviously disgusting and how the fan base is wrong is now a problem. Got it. I don't care if my account gets suspended I said what I said.

[Stargazer31]

(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)

[mariamyakubu767]

I'm a gay guy..you were saying..?

[mariamyakubu767]

I'm just criticizing how majority of bl fandom is filled with straight girls that objectify gay men..how is that bad..?

[Stargazer31]

I'm sorry, I came into the argument late and I saw you call it disgusting and drew to conclusions. My apologies

[mariamyakubu767]

Apology accepted..but my account would probably soon get banned just because I'm literally talking about most of these bl fans ( not all..but most) are normalizing objectifying and fetish sizing gay men..its sad..

[Freemints30]

Im haven't seen a troll this dedicated since the covid werido.

Which yeah most likely that what this person is... or a very very young kid by how they type. Cant take an L. Grown man... sure Jan

@joannekwan