Your biggest pet peeve about BL?

[Enthriex]

Yeah, media has done a lot of harm to people. I have gay friends that are awesome but I also have straight friends that are great. I get there's women that feel safer with gay friends but its not okay to just be looking at other people's sexualities and deciding if they're cool just from that.

We need to look at the individual and decide if they're cool, cause anyone can be an awful person and their sexualities have nothing to do with that.

As for the fashion thing, yeah, its ridiculous... Just talk about gay people as well, people cause that's what they are. Everyone is different and media makes people think its easy to identify who is gay and who isn't when it doesn't work that way.

The sleeping around can be done by anyone, I've seen this idea of them not compromising and cheating but that's on the individual as well... Just like how anyone can be a player.

I think I'm more worried about how men are treated in regards of sensitive subjects like rape. Media has done a lot of hurt in this area, you see, the other day I heard two women talking about how it wasn't sexual abuse from a grown woman to be with a 16 year old teen because he is a "man" they didn't even use the word teen or boy. It's really awful how men are treated in these areas and its all the media misinforming people or using unfunny jokes that hurt the empathy they could otherwise receive.

I can only hope it gets even better with time ú_ù

[NickRowler]

IMO there's a massive double-standard with this. People love to rag on BL for anything that isn't perfectly happy, flowery, healthy relationships, then they'll turn around and watch Game of Thrones, which has more pedophilia and rape than anything I've ever seen.

I am not talking about people who want to write about dark topics, I am talking about the stories about predatory gay men that are suppose to be cutesy and uwu. Like Junjo Romantica.

Honey, you can drag me to filth with the weird gay dynamics I write in my comics, they ain't all sunshine and rainbows.

As a side note and I'll be real, topics like this do piss me off. Especially as a gay person.

Because I never see posts like "what do you hate about straight romance OMG". It's always BL.

I do agree with this. Tho I do feel OP is coming from the angle of wanting to write a BL instead of someone who hates BL and wants to trash all of them.

[candiedcotton]

Yeah, but Juno Romantica is old school. If you want to see a really messed up straight romance equally as bad, look at Sailor Moon. Little girl who basically gets abused and groomed by Tuxedo Mask and it's honestly creepy AF.

I don't have issues with dark stuff myself, I'm just saying the expectations for BL compared to straight romance is a total double-standard. Most romance-based manga back in the day was all kinds of screwed up, it's kind of weird.

Honestly though, if that was OP's intention they still should have just asked about romance, not BL. Straight romance ain't any different than gay romance (except we get more hate).

[candiedcotton]

I totally agree.

I'm also a feminist and I think a lot of the issues with how men are treated when they're the victim of sexual assault has a lot to do with patriarchal BS and the whole 'men don't cry' thing, but that's another can of worms and too political for this forum, lol.

But yeah, I agree on all counts.

I do think a lot of modern LGBTQ+ media has gotten really good at representation, not just of sexualities, but POC and disabilities and so forth. Definitely way more than your typical straight romance media.

[Enthriex]

I totally get you! There's scarcity within the ace/aro representation, thus one has to cook up their own content In my case, two of my main characters are ace, though I didn't tag my story as LGBT+ cause I find problematic to tag a story because of a sexuality when the story isn't about that. They're just characters with their sexualities.

And about your edit, I totally get you! I also would like to see more ace/aro representation, its so mishandled and they treat us as if we had some underlying issue when there's none >_> its just people not understanding us and just spreading false information.

I have a character that is afraid of sex and sexual intimacy but they're not the asexual character and they're that way because of trauma (I like delving into the lasting consequences).

For the ace characters they both are really different personality wise so I hope I can do them justice and finally have something outside the 'repressed, afraid of sex' stereotype.

Since the plot is about something else, the ace thing will take its time but well, its an important part of their characters so ofc it will be apparent.

If you know of any good stories about aces do please tell BD

[VibrantFox]

Yes to all this! It's why a good chunk of my own characters fall somewhere on the spectrum even if i don't bother with explicit labels (mainly coz even i struggle with em) but hell yeah to just making your own stuff

As for tags I'm planning on using LGBT+ just as a sub tag since i want folks to know there's characters of the demographic in there as well as subplots relating to it but it's not like a main focus of the thing

Definitely still hunting tho but I'll absolutely share if i find anything. the one i already know of was Ghost Lights but i'm 100% on the lookout for more

[candiedcotton]

Also agree ace needs more representation. I have an ace character as well, but I honestly doubt anyone would ever know. There's a single scene in the script where a lady tries to flirt with him and he just informs her very casually that he isn't into that kind of relationship, but that's all. I didn't want to push declaring his sexuality since I didn't want it to be a label stuck to his forehead (like with tokenization). But he's a very important character.

[Enthriex]

Thankss, I'll look it up Haha I considered the tag but also thought people would probably burn me at the stake for including the tag and not talk explicitly about it. I don't want people accusing me of baiting or something ;-;

My story involves a survival game, supernatural and fantasy themes... Also dealing with ptsd, so I can see people asking every chapter where is the content from the promised tag ;-;

I want people to know there's representation but I also don't want people to feel tricked so yeaah, I better just write and people that like the plot will stay no matter if the main cast isn't heterosexual lmao. (They won't know, but there's a bi, a gay and two aces xD) One may be with a girl but it will depend on what he wants in the story. (I would like to talk about what an asexual relationship can be, since people may often think its impossible or that we don't date others... but I don't want to impose on my character so I'll respect his say on the matter lol)

And I get you with the struggling with labels, I say gay character but he is conflicted because of his trauma. (He is scared of intimacy no matter if its a man or a woman, however, he fears women the most. So he is like inclined towards boys but struggles with that area and doesn't even know what to think) Just to clarify, its not a boy being confused about being gay (cause hell no), he is confused about his feelings towards intimacy. How can he like others when he is afraid? He is 100% sure he doesn't like girls that way.

So yeaaah, I'll give it a go haha, hopefully people won't turn on me when noticing there's no hetero within the mains

[NickRowler]

I am not sure why you are lecturing me about this. I don't even like Sailor Moon. And I also think Little Mermaid is gross because she turns 16 then get married to an adult. Creepy capitalizing on a story about a child bride.

I do think predictory men in straight romance is also bad. I feel like even now, a lot of smaller content creators are talking about old romance movies which were creepy. And stuff like 365 Days was widely criticized.

The reason why I brought up this...

I really don’t like when one guy is established as straight and forced into a gay relationship against his will and somehow turns gay over the course of the story. This feeds into predatory stereotypes about gay men.

is because there is homophobic propaganda that thinks this is true. And it feeds into the fear of "gay people are converting kids". And I don't think someone who wants to write a positive depiction of gay romance should be using that.

[AmeTsunami]

When in the little mermaid was it said she married an adult?

[Enthriex]

Yeaaah, I totally get it, same reason I didn't tag it. I rather people realize this by reading about them and how their interactions are with other characters and their feelings.

And ohhhh, I truly enjoy when the guys don't show interest in women so that sounds down my alley! As for why, well, anime often portrays guys as perverts that are desperate for it... So its refreshing whenever I see a guy turning down a girl or showing no interest. (Its also the closest I'll probably get from anime as ace vibes. Not accurate but I'll take it)

I also enjoy when girls are portrayed as perverts cause they can be, it's not cool how "pure" anime portrays them. I remember a scene about a woman wanting to peek in the men's bathroom and I laughed so hard because I never saw that in any other series XD Not that I support sexual harassment or perverts, but it was refreshing to feel her be more "human".

It was from this anime called "Binbou gami ga" if anyone's curious.

[NickRowler]

When in the little mermaid was it said she married an adult?

Eric is an adult. They marry at the end of the film.

[AmeTsunami]

Not giving any proof to your statement about his age then?

[VibrantFox]

a quick google search shows that ariel was 15/16 and eric was 18

[AmeTsunami]

Thank you for providing actual evidence

[candiedcotton]

Absolutely. Women can be perverts, women can also take the initiative and be the one who pursues, and women can be turned down. Gender stereotypes can shove it (though I also support women who enjoy stereotypes). I think people should just be people without any of that stuff mattering.

I brought up Semantic Error before, but it actually has one of my favorite female side characters, which is the MC's best friend. She's probably the smartest character in the series. She's frank, honest, basically tells the MC when he's being an idiot, and owns her own sexuality. Come to think of it, I think she's bi rather than a lesbian, but it's not 'who' she is. She brings up an ex-girlfriend only because it's relevant to the discussion at hand. But I just really liked her character.

There's another girl who pursues the MC's love interest. This guy is clearly on the spectrum (it doesn't say it, but it's extremely obvious) and once she realizes his inability to read cues, she's just frank with him. She tells him she likes him, but she understands he doesn't feel that way. And then she also takes time to be proud of herself and appreciate herself for taking that step and making herself vulnerable. It's really a great scene and I really had mad respect for her. And she doesn't just disappear, she stays his friend and it's awesome.

[VibrantFox]

@AmeTsunami

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back to topic i may actually need someone to do a general romance/writing tropes thread coz another came to mind that's definitely an across all writing pet peeve than just a single genre and i dont wanna bog this thread

[Enthriex]

Yessss! I love Semantic error Reading about it makes me wanna reread <3 i don't remember if it was completed so maybe I can reread and then continue where I left off. I know there's a live series but the manhwa is the one I know. C: I really enjoyed the writing there

[candiedcotton]

I watches the live action out of curiosity and it isn't bad, but it's missing a lot of the build up that I really loved in the story. They had to compress it a ton, so I don't blame 'em.

The series is still on-going, but it's just gotten better and better. It's probably one of my favorite in a long time.

[Enthriex]

Thanks for reminding me of it, I really need to catch up