Okay, I'll take a look...
The prose is good, and the characters pop, so those are the first two things you need to get right (EDIT: and you do). The opening sentence could be a bit stronger, but you don't fall into the trap of a tepid opening sentence followed by a great second sentence that should have been the actual opening.
What doesn't work for me is the character of Leiana in chapter one - she seems a bit too oblivious to be real. I get that you're trying to channel Konosuba to a degree, but it just doesn't seem credible that she wouldn't recognize an accidental death when she sees one. That said, one line of dialogue could actually elevate the scene and make it pretty funny - as the narrator fades out to his new life, have him overhear her saying something like, "Hey, I just finished with that moron who killed himself weightlifting, and you won't believe where I sent him..." - that would establish that she's been trolling him the entire time, and make the reader wonder just what he's in for when he arrives.
Otherwise, the pacing looks good. The video game mechanics are weird, but they're an established trope and you're avoiding bringing them in by infodumping, which is the right way to do it. What I'd love to see somebody do with this (and this isn't my story, it's YOURS) is actually have a character say "wait, these are really weird - why does this world have these mechanics built-in" and have that be a mystery of the world for the protagonist to solve. But, as I said, that's what I'd like to see in one of these, and this is your story - you have to do what's best for it.
And, I think that's about all I've got at the moment...pretty good so far!
