Mar 4
1 / 14
Mar 5
20d ago
IndigoShirtProd
21d

It's hard to go into what I'm trying to get at here, but I'm dealing with a setting (not in my own stories, I want to make that clear) whereI'm having issues with the worldbuilding.

It's modern, pretty much present day. There are thrift shops, card games, the internet, and normal everyday vehicles like cars and trucks. People can live in apartments or are a part of a standard american neighborhood. And there's architecture reflecting modern sensibilities of american cities like New York City or Los Angelos.

Then, there's the fantasy element with witches that perform magic. And there's a magical dome that cuts off half the planet and floating islands. The planet is not Earth, though. The countries of today do not exist in this world. Regular people can control and perform magic, but most people don't as it takes a lot of effort and instruction to do magic. There are different types of magic, but there's seemingly no healing magic, or teleportation, no magic that can make you fly, or that can let you shoot fire balls or anything like that at a target. You can try to talk to dead people but not really as that is a supposed impossibility.

Then there's the sci-fi element that has to do with hi-tech vehicles and machinery. And a whole portion of the planet living under the magical dome are in a cyberpunk hellscape. Honestly, past that, I'm having a hard time recalling what the other sci-fi elements are.

People can also develop superhuman abilities without a magical or science fictional reason. This world is specifically not a superhero world either.

So, that's all in the same world/setting. Oh, and before I forget, human characters have skin in shades of red, blue, white (not that kind of white), purple, and pink; that's just how people are.

Could this all work? Sure, maybe. I just have my issues with it all.

Am I giving this setting a fair shake? Eh, probably not, but I was just wanting to get another person's or other people's opinion on all... all of this.

BoomerZ
21d

Sounds like a mish-mash of too many elements to me. I wouldn't read something with that type of setting as it doesn't make sense to me.

CarltonIsaac
21d

Sounds like a 'Mary Sue' World, where everything and anything is doable.
Or maybe it's a 'Chop Suey' of leftover treats from other world builds.

wolflu66
21d

I wouldn't really recommend this. In a story, it's best to have only one superpower system, such as magic, ninjutsu, alien technology, or cyberpunk elements.

In short, it's best to choose just one; otherwise, readers may easily feel lost. Moreover, in the future, you're very likely to run into contradictions that you won't be able to logically explain.

Oriflamme
20d

It depends on what you’re trying to do with your story. The kitchen sink approach seems reminiscent of the DC or marvel comic book universe, where everything is a pastiche of grounded reality, near future sci fi, multiple mythology, fantasy, and space opera. But in these cases the story will generally stay on one theme, with minor inclusion of other elements.

I am not going to suggest not doing it, but be mindful of how you include every element. I would extend brian Sanderson's first rule of magic to worldbuilding. If you're not familiar, it goes a little something like this: The ability to resolve conflict with magic is proportional to how well the reader understands magic. In this case, the ability of the worldbuilding elements to affect the plot is proportional to how well the reader understands the world.

If you want to include all the elements you’ve listed, you’re going to need a lot of time establishing everything in your world, making sure everything is coherent and the reader is never confused while also never bored. It’s going to be a high wire balancing act the whole way through.

IndigoShirtProd
20d

@BoomerZ
Now, why are you coming out here and saying what I'm thinking? It was supposed to be subtle. But, yea I have to agree.

I see what you mean. Like ideas came, but the connecting with each other in a complementary way kinda was left on the back burner for the sake of more.

Yea, I wouldn't either. But it's not my story or my setting so it's really not something I can "change" or "fix", only comment on.

Yeeeah, I want to reiterate that this ain't my story or a setting I've come up with. It's someone else's.

I've commented to them personally how I think the setting is convoluted and confusing and how the general world building, in short terms, doesn't really work. I have to agree with the advice you've given, because it's similar to the advice I've given. So, thank you.

Oriflamme
20d

Yeah, sorry about that, I realised that after posting the comment. I did try to edit out the most egregious part, because I stand by the other point and was too lazy to completely rewrite it.

IndigoShirtProd
20d

No, you're fine as your advice is warranted, regardless. If I was in the same position this person was, I'd like to hear that too.

cherrystark
20d

If I'm reading your post correctly, the author is shooting themselves in the foot. Readers, in general, can accept a story that isn't set on Earth. They usually don't accept a world with no semblance of geography or seasons, so a random magical dome that cuts off half the planet makes no sense out of context.

Fans of sci-fi/fantasy also demand explanations for worldbuilding, whether it be body mods to explain skin colors or magic schools - they want to know every detail and if the writer can't clearly explain it - they'll stop reading.

jwabeasley
20d

I don't think it would work very well. It would be better to pick one or two of those elements and run with those. My comic has a modern-ish setting with a lot of low-power magic in it, but any more elements thrown in at the beginning would be overwhelming to the reader. Unless you want to be Samurai Jack or something where the setting is "whatever's cool, man."

It sounds like whoever you're critiquing has a bunch of concepts that should be broken out into different stories. A dome cutting the planet in half or a setting with floating islands are both quite enough for a whole story without adding magic or cyberpunk elements in.

Adding more concepts makes your story broader but it means you will have to be shallower as a result. New writers often want to put all their cool ideas into their first story, since they don't have the confidence that they will be able to make more in the future.

IndigoShirtProd
20d

I agree. There's so much going on that it hurts the coherence of the narrative.

To an extent, I agree. To be fair to the author here, it's not as though they do have explanations for things, it's just, in my opinion, they don't make much sense. There's more context here that I have a hard time recalling off the top of my head which is why there aren't more details.

Yeah, it doesn't.

You must be reading my mind as I've said the writing's shallow in the past before too.

cherrystark
20d

Which makes sense. I offer the writer some grace on top of me not knowing the story, because I know a lot of more "experienced" writers who go overboard on worldbuilding. I also know a bunch of people who take Brandon Sanderson's teaching on writing as doctrine. Whenever I give feedback, I'm really big on making sure the little things get enough screentime to help make a cohesive narrative.