In the late eighteen hundreds, a young lumberjack had an identity crisis. He said, there's gotta be more to life than lumberjackering. He quit his job and traveled the world, looking for who or what he might be.
He came to an Inuit town in Alaska and was impressed by the young braves. He asked a brave how he might become an Eskimo. The young brave said he would have to speak to the elders, and promised to set up a meet.
On the following day, the young man met with the Inuit elders. They sat around a wooden table in straight chairs -- out on the frozen tundra. They told the young man they had no qualms about him becoming an Eskimo. All he had to do was pass the same right of passage as the other young men. He told the elders he was ready, and asked what he must do.
They placed a gallon of whale blubber whiskey on the table and told him to drink it all. He drank it all and asked, "What next?" They pointed to a distant snow-capped peak and told him that he must walk there, kill a polar bear, and bring back its head as evidence. Once he accomplished that, his third and final trial would be to go into town and sleep with the local prostitute. Only then could he call himself an Eskimo.
The young man staggered off across the tundra. The elders watched him until he became a small staggering dot on the horizon. For the next three days, the elders sat at their table and watched for the return of the young man. Late on the third day, they saw a dot on the horizon. As it staggered closer, they recognized the young man. He was terribly scratched up and bloody, but he did not have a polar bear's head with him.
He walked up to the elders and said, "Now, where's that whore you want me to kill?"
