Heya @nikaalexandra! This is a really cool idea! Love it!
I hope you're cool if I review your work? I promise I'll do my best to make it helpful.
Okay so, first thing I notice is that your backgrounds could use a lot of work. I can tell you're really focused on getting to the characters and action, and I totally hear that, but maybe this idea will help? Think of your backgrounds and settings as characters too. They have a mood and personality, and they'll even react to what's going on around them (like a background going red when there's danger). The little bakery is super cute, and I love the look of it, but it's so unfinished that it's distracting to the rest of the art. If you're looking for an easier way to get that stuff done, may I suggest obtaining a free copy of the old version of SketchUp and building your sets? It works wonders for us, and it's a lot more fun to color a background when it's already there! I can see that you sometimes "cheat" on showing the setting by focusing in on the details of it, like the cakes and candies in the bakery. I only say "cheat" because I lack a better term, and to be frank, that method TOTALLY works! It provides a moment of what Miyazaki calls "ma" or a moment to breathe and take in the surroundings and sink in what's happened in the story. That's a good feather to keep in your cap.
I'm really happy that you opened on a crowd scene though! It's well done, feels kinda crushing and overwhelming and I love how warm and brightly colored it is. Crowd scenes are a pain in the ASS and to start there? Well hats off to you for even attempting it! The character designs you have are simple, and I think that's a good thing. A lot of folks have this tendancy to create characters that have so much detail that it makes drawing the comic a total chore. Simple characters work.
On the writing side, I'm seeing a lot of telling and not showing. Like for example, Hadrian is basically explaining everything to Eloise bar-none. I get you need the reader to understand the world and what's going on, but you could have dropped the festival thing on the very first page. You had crowds. You had kids and festival folks giving out goodies. Let the crowd talk. Let your extras provide some bread crumbs to the audience.
Dialogue is often very "on the nose." In case you're not familiar with the term (or if you are feel free to skip), "on the nose" means dialogue or action in which the character's innermost thoughts and feelings are fully expressed by what the character is saying or doing. There is no nuance, mystery, ambiguity or surprise. The way it was driven home to me is this: On the nose dialogue is what your character is thinking but it's not what they're going to say out loud. Think of an argument you've had, did you say every last thought in your head? Sometimes you can get away with a lot more by saying less. This is a great resource if you're interested in tackling it. A heads up that it's a screenwriting resource though, but the lesson still applies to comics.
I hope that was helpful? I really love the direction your comics going in, and I can see from the first page to the last that you've definitely improved over time. Keep it up, bb <3
Now, here's mine. suits up in hockey gear Okay, y'all hit me with all you got!!