Am I the only one who panics with subs?

[Damatris]

"Do people like it? Did I do something wrong?"Most likely not unless you decided to openly offend them. These questions are good to ask oneself once in awhile, but it should not be your focus. Your focus should be to create something you can personally enjoy, and then take care of the fans that decide to enjoy it with you, no matter what.

I think this is a response for me. I also think I might have explained myself poorly or at least far too briefly. I apologize for that and I'll try to clear it up a bit.

Others' enjoyment isn't and never has been my primary goal. I'm working on a story I deeply love, am proud of and really enjoy making. It's for me first even if I truly appreciate each and every subscriber. But I haven't been drawing comic for that long yet and I am still insecure about the execution of it. Especially as I'd love other people to enjoy it too. And I'm still learning the trade.

And that's what I mean when I wonder about doing something wrong: if I presented my ideas poorly.
Maybe the dialogue was choppy or too cliched. Or maybe I wasn't able to draw interesting enough layout. Maybe there was something jarringly wrong with the anatomy / composition. This is very good thing in moderation as it pushes you to analyze your work and that's necessary when you want to improve. And I really do. But I have a tendency to over analyze things from time to time and sometimes a mass unsubscribing may happen at a time when I'm already thinking about all the things I could do better and that's when it makes me a bit anxious as it seems my fears are valid. Which I logically know isn't correlation to it and most of time I'm able to separate them. Subs aren't death and life situation to me. But a part of them is tangled up in other things that have nothing to do with subscribers and that's why they do can affect me if it makes sense...

Like, there are 9 other things that are making me feel anxious about the quality of my work and 10th is the sub count. And sometimes one part of that tangle can pull at it and create the reaction. And as I'm going to be graduating in art field (not comics tho) this spring, I can't think only about my enjoyment but also about possible buyers / funders. Basically, I'm just in such a transition phase that things like this do affect me at least mildly even when I'm loving working on the story with my full heart.

I hope that cleared something up. Or maybe I just made it more confusing... ^^' It is a very confusing subject for me and nothing clear cut or something that happens every time I lose a reader. After all, everyone is free to read and stop reading whatever they want for whatever reason.

[60Six]

I get more confused than anxious I think. Sometimes I submit a page and I get a lot of response. Then I submit the exact same time the next week and get less than half of the response as the week before. When my subscriber count is moving slower, I do get a little concerned, but my story is still in pretty early stages and I have to remind myself I'm not exactly in the most thrilling part of my story right now. ...But then why did that last page also in a pretty tame scene do so well?
Overall, I don't think I have much room to complain. I THINK I'm doing pretty well for having only started posting pages in October, which is what stops me from worrying too much when I have a page that sort of "flops." But I do still get confused and almost a little frustrated when I think I've finally figured out "what works" and then I do the exact same thing the next week and it doesn't work like it did just the week before.

[joannekwan]

I've learned to numb myself to any influx of subscribers. Sure it's nice people are looking, but I expect some of them to leave sooner or later. I think back to a week before when I didn't have those subs and I am still as determined to complete my story as I was then. So subs or no, I just want to finish my series.

Just today my least popular series (also the newest, I only started it August) got featured in the Daily Snack and I've had a flood of subscribers. I'm glad for the increased exposure, but I'm even more glad that the staff thought my little series was worth showcasing. I do expect to lose a lot of those subs once they read more of the series and find it's not their cup of tea. And that's okay! I do the same I'll admit.

[Doubtcent]

Ah, I see. I was just being very general. I was responding a bit through the other stuff too, but I was also reassuring others who might have that kind of thought. I did, but I'm getting over it. Thanks for the clarification!

[Vikiro_Hop]

Actually I did get a bit nervous when at a time my sub count was growing steadily. Not exploding mind you but enough that I thought "fuck...I'm gonna actually have to take this seriously if this keeps up." It was admittedly bitter sweet when it slowed down, but in the end I'm ok with it. I've mentioned before that my gag comic has been more for me to experiment and figure out how to consistently make comics. So I pretty much do just that, I think the art gets more consistent with each update and my only real goal is to have more subs than episodes out.

In the end I don't really mind I would be making comics even if no one cared. Not to say that I make them without regard for an audience at all, but I have a sorta mantra I use whenever I'm writing.

Write your story first, then figure out how to present it.

Essentially I just want to make what makes me happy first and then if I'm satisfied there is a good chance if I can present it right others will too. Whether that be through good writing or interesting art or whatever.

[AnnaLandin]

I would like to mention that a few people in this thread (me included) are displaying signs of Impostor Syndrome - we're constantly afraid people will find out we don't know what we're doing.

I read an article a few months ago claiming that people in creative pursuits (comic-creation being one of those, obviously) tend to suffer from Impostor Syndrome in a higher ratio than other people, partly because of the hard-to-define aspects of success in art, since it's so subjective.

[Stellamari]

Definitely. Getting new subs or good traffic would be a both "OH YES!" and "OH NO!" scenario for me. But I still treat my webcomic as a hobby so panicky moments aren't so significant.

[Stellamari]

I first heard of that Imposter Syndrome in a Harvard Commencement speech by Neil Gaiman. I didn't know it's actually a legit syndrome!

[Vikiro_Hop]

I am actually convinced that no one has a clue what they are doing at any given time no matter how sure they are of themselves (including myself). Idk I apply that to everyone and it helps me get through the days.

@Stellamari I am a big fan of Neil Gaiman so I'll have to check that out. He is a silly individual so it's easy to overlook what he says as hyperbole. At the same time, I'm still conflicted that he named his collection of short stories trigger warning.

[Damatris]

...oh. That was interesting thing to read. I hadn't actually heard about this before.

[Stellamari]

Oh, please do! It's here Trigger Warning. That book is so good I want to reread it and at the same time so bad (in a good way) that I want to chuck it across the room for the bad things that happen to the poor characters.

[Vikiro_Hop]

ah i've seen excerpts of this before, cool thanks for the link.
I think trigger warnings inherently are silly but,after reading it I think he meant it more as a joke. Neil Gaiman is a professional at torturing his characters and he doesn't care who knows. It's definitely a good read for aspiring writers. I think his write ups on each story are very informative.

The World is a Very Scary Place

[greenraptorstudios]

I go through exactly what you do. I myself just started at the beginning of this year (though on Tapastic in September) and my numbers are rather small. My traffic is not too bad, but the subs are small and I'm prone to freaking out myself. It feels tough when you do what you love and you feel it won't be appreciated.

All you can really do is keep going forward and hope for the best. Have faith in your comic and know that one day it will be a success.

[zjwestbrook]

I've been writing prose literally since I was 4 and whenever I took courses or went to conferences, I'd always hear that a well-crafted story directs itself. As in, characters will often start making decisions for themselves, against even your wishes, and everyone always says it's best to let them do what they want.

Not long ago, I remember reading that J.K. Rowling had to force Ron and Hermione together when the flow of the story was for Hermione and Harry to end up together.

So, yeah, fans/subs be damned. Tell the best story possible.