Anybody else here who is depressed?

kmlangleyauthor 2020-09-26 00:15:51 UTC #16

I’ve had my fair share of not-fantastic therapists/not the right timing, but I think it’s (usually) helpful in at least some aspect. My last therapist was working with me on EMDR therapy and it was like freaking magic but I definitely hadn’t been ready for it until then.

@wocalichofficial I don’t know if any of these would be something you’re interested in, but the movies In Her Shoes, The Fault In Our Stars, and Marley are all good for crying I know there’s plenty of others, but those are ones off the top of my head. Sometimes songs work, too, but that’s usually triggered by something more specific for me. A page I follow on FB recently started doing “shouty Thursday” where you VENT YELL SOMETHING THAT’S FRUSTRATING AND IT IS HONESTLY SO SATISFYING IF YOU NEED TO GET SOMETHING OFF YOUR CHEST!! (My inbox is open if you want more privacy, too)

cherrystark 2020-09-26 00:27:16 UTC #17

Thank you for sharing this with me. My mom told me something very similar. Moving to where I am hasn't been all bad. I was able to pay off my student loans and have a job where I can work from home, so I didn't lose my income. There is still hope for a better future, despite the thoughts in my brain.

cherrystark 2020-09-26 00:39:01 UTC #18

Thank you. I'm grateful that I found the forums and people to talk to. I still have dark days but I'm lightyears better than where I was ten years ago. A decade ago, I wasn't writing at all, hadn't ever completed a story and was beating myself up because I didn't think like other people. I later learned to own my mental health and have been on the path to recovery ever since.

I also remind myself too that I've got a future family to look forward too.

kmlangleyauthor 2020-09-26 00:42:19 UTC #19

Paying off student loans is AMAZING!!!! I know how insane that can be!!! and working from home (other than the isolation factor) is really good for right now! It sounds like your mom is supportive of you and your goals

cherrystark 2020-09-26 00:56:26 UTC #20

My mom is great. She doesn't understand why I post my writing online but she's more than happy to listen when I want to talk about the milestones I reached.

UrMom 2020-09-26 01:06:29 UTC #21

Haah yeah, probably. I was seeing a Psychologist for few weeks to help me deal with my social anxiety long enough to do a board interview (a military interview, 100x worse than a civilian one.), and we got far enough to start talking about depression along with the the possibility that I may have been in a dark place for a really long time now. Buuuut then she moved across the country, and I discharged from the military, leaving me with no insurance and or good income. Lol

Honestly I'm probably not the best person to post here, I've become pretty used to being down, to the point it doesn't really affect my life anymore. It's just sort of there, and now a part of my personality I guess. Although the things that have given me a sense of catharsis is delving into horror and tragedy, it feels nice for me to expose and explore my awful feelings through awful stories/art. I grew up watching horror movies, as a teen I drew gore to help get out my frustrations with my chaotic hormones and feeling bad, now that I've chilled out I'm venting my experiences and feelings via a comic.

I guess in short, the thing that has helped me be able to stay creative is using my art to vent those feelings. Not only has it helped when I couldn't afford to get professional help (nor when I was comfortable with the idea.), but it keeps the creative juices flowing.
Good luck! I hope you are able to get place soon!

amortelito 2020-09-26 01:10:29 UTC #22

Me too, I get depressed for long periods of times and it will be like this for the rest of my life. Fortunately I have been in treatment for years and now I know the signs. I used to blame myself for being lazy but now I know it's a condition.

Since this apathy is part of the illness it's normal to get stuck creatively. What helped me a lot is to exercise with music that is inspiring for my comic or the project I want to think about. I just let myself go. Other than that I don't by get more creative until the serotonin starts doing it's work. In general I try to not pressure myself and let my brain heal because I tend to be super harsh.

I send you all a huge hug, stay strong

indagold 2020-09-26 01:12:14 UTC #23

I should be more depressed than I am given my mood disorder, i'm surprised I don't feel like i'm dead inside. I'm stuck unemployed living in an unhealthy family situation. I really hope I find a job and move out, I think that will give me peace. I honestly would rather just cut ties with them than do one of the pointless "oh they weren't that bad" spiels, cause forgiveness and connection just causes you to normalize their behavior and think they'll change.

scribesunlimited 2020-09-26 01:27:29 UTC #24

Been there. I like to remember a quote from a former agent I had in the 1980s. "Don't f**k with creativity. It never comes when you want it to."

I'm sad when people I know are depressed and I feel kind of helpless because there's really nothing I can do. But I CAN say, if you have people in your life who love you and care about you, whether friends or family or social acquaintences, you're never alone. And when you're not alone, you can get through anything.

RyzaCobalion 2020-09-26 01:31:56 UTC #25

I felt like that once last year yeah when I had creative block for 3 months and it was about solute torture for me. I couldn't write or draw anything so much so that i felt like i was going insane. i decided to go on a month hiatus because any further i would go crazier. There's always times to create and then there's where you need a break.

Wocalich 2020-09-26 02:32:39 UTC #26

True, but it sucks to have to wait for the uncreative period to be over

Dane_Sherbet 2020-09-26 02:42:24 UTC #27

So I heard my people were having a party.

elisabeth_ist 2020-09-26 02:59:22 UTC #28

Sending hugs and support to everyone here.

In terms of right now... I think it's important for everyone to remember that life is really, really difficult these days, wherever in the world you may live. We're in the middle of a pandemic. The environment is doing weird and terrifying things. Various democracies are doing weird and terrifying things. Every day is a new flip of the coin.

And that means that it's more important than ever to be kind and gentle with yourself. At this point, our one job is just to survive this time as well as we can manage. We need to allow ourselves a lot of grace. We need to rest more. We need to make an effort to spend time doing the things that can make us a little bit happy, even if it's only for a short time. Treating ourselves the same way we would treat a struggling friend or family member -- with compassion -- should be the top priority.

(Brought to you by a woman who just had a small panic attack about the 2020 U.S. election and spent two-and-a-half hours hashing out all the feelings with a friend.)

Dane_Sherbet 2020-09-26 03:01:10 UTC #29

Twitter was a mistake in general and this time in particular.

kmlangleyauthor 2020-09-26 03:50:14 UTC #31

Hitting random (or the big!) milestones is the best!! and I’m really glad she’s there for you

This is so real * cries in veteran *

Totally here for this

@elisabeth_ist thank you for your pep talk I honestly really needed to hear (read) this today. I also have anxiety (yay ) and paired with depression plus several really freaking hard years has made this year seem impossible to deal with at some points.

But also. STAY TF OFF OF TWITTER UNTIL AFTER THE ELECTION please! Or at least hardcore limit yourself! I almost always have to go on a social media blackout the month before elections because it spikes my anxiety so badly

RyzaCobalion 2020-09-26 04:34:04 UTC #32

True, it does suck if you do try to push yourself too much you too will go insane. But once the wait is over the flow of creativity will come back to you slowly or in full throttle and you'll be creating nonstop.

jensrichard77 2020-09-26 08:04:04 UTC #33

I’m not sure if creative people get more depressed than others. But from my perspective, it is a state of mind that comes with.

I feel it is a Yin and Yang. Maybe it is like athletes, you can't run all the time without hurting your muscles.
Me, I use my muscle called the brain, and I can't be creative all the time without burning out. And with that comes depression.

I live with this all the time. I know that the sun will shine after the rain. I know I will burn out and I know depression will pass and I will be back in the game.

I just need to focus on the positive side of life. When I’m down I look forward to when it is over and not focus on the pain, if I do that I will only stay longer in the depression.

mbindhammer 2020-09-26 14:15:36 UTC #34

Me too. On medication at the moment: Sertraline and Mirtazapine. Since then I work on my comic. I have not drawn for 30 years. I know what I am drawing from. From life experiences and from the view of a scientist

mbindhammer 2020-09-26 14:17:06 UTC #35

How old is your daughter? I have a daughter too. She is born in Shanghai, now 9 years old...

frgmnt 2020-09-26 14:33:48 UTC #36

I am depressed... all the time honestly, but when it's particularly bad (like recently) my creativity just turns off, and the only activities my brain will kindly allow are crying and passing time with something that requires 0 mental effort. (eg. mindlessly scrolling social media, playing stupid games on my phone, aimless internet browsing)
I have pretty much no friends and my family either doesn't care or is even worse off so I can only count on myself for support and motivating myself, and of course it's super-reliable...
How do people even make vent art??? You don't become a different person, completely unable to do anything art-related, when your mood hits the "I wish I were dead" point???
The only thing I can do is try to make as much art as I can in between depressive episodes, but it's very easy to turn this short downtime into a longer artblock - I stop drawing for two days, I might as well stop it for life.