Anybody plays D&D? Tell your stories!

[DMAyrhlan]

Dynadins, Grymadins and Ycrodins are used to work together, the gods share a heaven named Sanctilum and they rule as Law, Order and Justice. The three gods started as angels but got blessed with divinity by Ayr, supreme god of creation. A blessing that has been revoked.

Dyne Paladins deliver verdicts and are sanctioned to give a binding declaration on the spot because they are the Law.

Grym Paladins are the jailors and in the most extreme cases the executioners. They uphold Order and lately they kill without a trial.

Ycro Paladins stand for Justice and are prone to (insert word when I find it) . They are the force that limits the former two.

They are based in the country Aura, but their temples are found almost everywhere. They are ruled by three Paladin generals. The general clergy pledges to all three, but most Paladins pick one as their prime. At the moment the three orders don't really see eye to eye.

---

In my world followers influence my gods as much as the gods influence the followers. And Players have a greater influence. One of my players was a Paladin of Grym and he kept telling people he was the law. He got a following that started chanting 'guilty guilty guilty'. And now there is a schism between those who seek order and those who seek punishment. If those who seek punishment win. Gryms name will change to Guilty.

[joe_galindez]

stand for Justice and are prone to vigilantism

record scratch

[DMAyrhlan]

Maybe vigilantism isn't the right word. Yeah looked up the definition, definitely not the correct word (I always thought vigilantism was more like a freelance cop type of thing, damn you Vice City.). They are more like Pro Deo Detectives that will take up your case.

When someone has wrongfully put in jail (as they'd all say) they are the Paladins that go find out. Someone stole a bread, By law he is guilty, so he is jailed, but it might not be the just thing to do, if he had a good reason.

Thanks for correcting me, that would've been really awkward if I posted a story about Ycro...

[xanedis]

They are prone to be working as defense attorneys? Man, they sound so fun.

But those Dyne worshippers, though. I have always wanted to play a character like that. I AM THE LAW... withafewaddedprecepts.

[joe_galindez]

I STOLE A BREAD

[AmberCat]

This is not actually D&D but close enough I guess?

Medieval setting, low fantasy. There was festival in the city where our, from lack of better term say party but it was more band of misfits than anything else, party met. Lot of alcohol, lot of fun. There was literature contest. Bard like character of course participated. Declamed quite nice poem, GM described it later as best among participants. Also rich lady from jury liked him. Then there was me. Almost 2 meter tall, huge and old (over 50 which is quite a lot for medieval times) mercenary with two-handed battleaxe on back. I thought it would be fun to participate. I said rather short and quite vulgar "poem". Oh, I also grabed bard's mandolin or whatever without asking. He was sane enough to not oppose a bit drunk giant with battleaxe. People liked it, but jury was not too impressed - mostly rich lady. Here comes thief based character who somehow succesfully bought votes (it was little town and he had quite a lot of moeny for start) of other jurors.
Giant, bit drunk mercenary wins over skilled bard. But I played rather nice person. So I took my new bard friend to drinking. Oh, he had weak head hindrance. So he was basically drunk after one cup of apple wine that was there. But we wouldn't stop there. I was big and resistant. There comes a bit crazy priest that could never shut up about godly stars. Bard - superstitious and religious freak. Mercenary - maybe some god will help so have a nice collection of amulets and other stuff of known and uknown gods. Crazy priest doesn't have anything for us. Somehow managed to roll persuasion and gave us bunch of sand us stardust. Bard drank it. Bard passed out. I took Bard to inn. In meantime he puked on my shoes.
Next morning we ate breakfast. He puked again. He cleans floor and my shoes.
We learned that rich lady was killed. They wanted to investigate. Guards are suspicious. I don't care. I'm too old for this shit. I went with them for security and because I didn't want to wait doing nothing.
Bloody orchard. Bard almost pukes again. I'm not impressed. Told that people sometimes things like this when I heard about monster. Guards look strange at me.
We go to guard chief or whatever it was called. Almost on very beggining Bard has bad roll for puking and pukes on
guard chief. He of course kicks us out.
GM said that somehow saved our lives from something (among few other things). I don't know from what because sessions are on hiatus.
Rest is pretty normal and boring. Maybe almost knocking out Crazy Priest when he tried to wake me up because something attacked us was funny.

Short from sci-fi setting. I was new part of group. Somehow ended with one of best equipment despite having less money than them (I didn't but few cars¯_(ツ)_/¯). Entered in different point. Killed two guards and was at the target when rest was making hollywood shootout on main entrance. A bit later one of them comes to me. Animal-berserk-human thing. Kills target and locks panick room with important stuff. Life is great. Why did I even try to use teamwork?

[Samuraiflame]

Since it's seasonally appropriate now,

I've been in a couple campaigns and am running/ran 2 of my own homebrew. I prefer playing original settings over the ones in the book because it's always with a group of close friends. ANYWAYS...

Friend's campaign

• My character 'married' the formerly bloodthirsty Emperor of her nation (long story, but now she's his secret wife )
• The nation's long-time rival, a desert nation to the south has (once again) declared war on us. They're run by warlords and their whole deal is fighting. Our nations have been at war for basically hundreds of years. Their current leader known as the Kyr is the strongest of the warlords. Fortunately, he's supposed to an honourable guy.
• Emperor hubby decides to attempt a peace council with the Kyr and takes my character along to help act as an ambassador.
• My character asks the Kyr nicely to call off the war and join forces to fight Greater Evil™
• Roll persuasion
• Nat 20
• The Kyr has a change of heart! He agrees to peace, but seeks a new way to battle for honour to preserve his country's tradition.
• My character suggests a national fighting tournament to unite all 3 of the main nations.
• The D&D equivalent of the Olympics was born

[joe_galindez]

over 50 which is quite a lot for medieval times

Life expectancy at birth was low, but improved the longer you survived. If you managed to see adulthood you stood a good chance of seeing old age.

[YangKoete]

I just realized I have a story of DnD I can put in here! (Lengthy, but please forgive that. =w=)

Ok. So my first time playing any tabletop game properly was in 10th grade. Only issue was; No magic. Guess who was the mage? raises hand

Joe (Yes, the guy's name was Joe) the DM told us our setting; Middle of the ocean on a galleon. Alright, sounds fun. Theeeeen he says we're all captured.

So the party is as follows;
Me - Uber squishy sorceress little girl feather duster spirit that had really high stats other than strength and constitution.
Nic - Human cleric guy that had a tiny claw hammer as a weapon, but a big tower shield. He's the meat shield.
Tiana - Elf ranger lady that was incredibly pious and egotistical. Not fun to be around.
Charlie - GIANT WARFORGED DRUID. Blacksmith. His reason for being a Druid? Regrow his body temporarily with ironwood. Alright, works for us.
Nate - Human barbarian that had the motto of;"If they attack me, that's the only time I'll attack". Oddly the most peaceful of the group as well as the wisest and smartest.
Timber (Nickname) - Human monk. She played as a guy. Highly aggressive monk.

First time on the ship.

We're all bound on the side. Charlie (AKA; The Admiral)'s first action is to rip off the chains to himself. Then he rips off his arm, and shoves it into the side of the boards that were torn off and filling the ship. Said ship was sinking. Bitch-slapped the sailors into oblivion, got the keys, got us out. I became the cook because I apparently was the best with food.

Reasons otherwise;
Charlie:"My character is a bunch of metal with mana. You ask him to eat again."
Nic:"My guy's a cleric, he's eaten nothing but bread for years!"
Nate:"My guy's smart, but he'll burn water."
Timber:"Fasting. Also, he'll punch you in the face if you insult the cooking."
everyone turns to me
Me:"Well crap."
Tiana never gave her reason. Probably just too lazy/wanted a "Subordinate" to do it.

Pirates come!

We all load the cannons and get ready at battle stations! Charlie with his broadsword, Nic with an axe, Tiana with a crossbow, Nate just stood there until the first cannonball was fired - THEN took out a claymore, Timber with leather around her fists...then me with my puny dagger and a meager staff. I under-equipped. BAD. Charlie loads the cannons; With his arms as punches. They fire. Then Nic gets the great idea;
Nic:"Throw me over, Admiral!"
Charlie:"To the other ship?!"
Nic:"YUP!"
Charlie:"LET'S DO THIS."
Me:"Why am I even here." slinging spells as the cleric gets thrown across and basically gets roped up after beating up two mooks

Pirates board us, tie everyone up but me.
Me:"I know this is taboo #1, but why didn't they tie me up?"
Joe: Rolls dice "The pirates look at you, saying;"We're not gonna tie you up, cause last time we tied up some wizard we all got turned to newts and toads! We got better, but the warts didn't come off for ages! You just hold tight there, lass." And then he tosses you a pineapple."
Me:"...Alright. Is the head guy in sight?"
Joe: rolls dice again "Yeah, he's just standing there. Not hard to miss with his jaunty feathered cap."
Me:"Good. I'm gonna run up to him and stab him to death in front of everyone."
Nic:"What are you planning...I swear, IF YOU STAB HIM-"
Me:"I'mma do it."
Nic:"DON'T YOU DO IT!"
Me:"I'MMA DO IT!"
Charlie:"Just let them do it. They've gotten crits with every hit so far even WITH the knife!"
Joe:"Fine, fine..." rolls dice "...You've got to be shitting me."
Me:"YES!!!"
Tiana:"THE DICE AREN'T RIGGED!?"
Joe:"We've checked TWICE. EACH!"
Me:"SAY THE WORDS, DM MAN!"
Joe:"I swear to fucking christ you're gonna have something happen...AHEM! Anyway...The pirates are all quite distracted, reveling in their victory, some even pulling out their rum and grog - until you run up, tackled the captain to the ship's deck, stabbing him right through the eye. Who cares about the eyepatch? You reached far enough that you definitely hit the brain. Now, the pirates are all screaming, abandoning ship."
Me:"I'm gonna go after the survivors, stab as many as I can get!"
Joe:"Don't insult me if the dice aren't in your favour." rolls dice, stares at me, getting mad (He RARELY gets mad)
Timber:"Oh my god..."
Me:"ALL HAIL THE PIRATE QUEEEEEEEN!"
Charlie:"They are all getting killed by a FEATHER DUSTER."
Nic:"A little girl. That's not even in her teens. That's also a feather duster."
Me:"I EMBODY the feather duster. It's like my house."
Joe:"I swear...You go after each pirate leftover one by one, leaving a total of ten corpses on board including the captain's."
Me:"I'm gonna take the captain's hat as my new headpiece. AKA; My only one." *scribbles on;"The hat of a captain".
Charlie:"No, let me see that." Takes the sheet, erasing part of it and I have;"The Hat of Badassery"
Joe:"+2 to bullshit."
laughs around the room
Me:"Anyway, now that the initial carnage is over..."
Nate:"We can be freed, right?"
Me:"Nope! Gonna eat my pineapple!"
Joe:"And it was a damn good pineapple. If you smoked, it'd be like a cigar."
Pirates fear the magician.
All because of newts and frogs.

[Zaboem]

You should embellish that story. Instead of an unseen danger in the orchard, it should be a specific monster -- one which is driven away because of its extremely sensitive nose. We will call this story, The Puke Defense.

[Zaboem]

It looks like we have a lot of interest in having Tapas members experiencing a classic AD&D-like adventure. I write AD&D-like because the rules for that (and most RPGs) are intended for tabletops and don't transfer as well to forum play. So long as the themes, the tone, and the character archetypes are all there, I think we don't need the authentic Dungeons & Dragons rules. More streamlined and free-form styles of play would be generally preferred.

This is what I'm going to do. I'll leave this thread for its original purpose of sharing stories. I will start another thread for the roleplaying. Since nobody objected and one person liked the idea, a bunch of RPGs can get housed in the same roleplaying thread: horror games, cyberpunk games, space opera games, murder hobo games, et cetera.

P.S. The term "murder hobo" may require some clarification. Within the hobby, this is a more recent term which describes the oldest and most classic style of fantasy roleplaying. Player-Characters travel aimlessly. They find monsters like orcs and trolls to fight. They sometimes crawl into a dungeon to kill monsters in their own lairs. They kill the monsters and loot their bodies. They live off the loot for a while and repeat the process as a livelihood. Thus, they are the murder hobos. The term in derogatory but in an endearing way. One might say, "I've got an old school itch. I want to take a break from all the drama of the Vampire campaign and play a Murder Hobo for a while."

[joe_galindez]

Murder-hoboes are really just hunter-gatherers as filtered through our species memory.

• Dead monsters yield loot, just like game animals do.

• Setting is wild and dangerous and usually lawless, like a a hunter-gatherer's range.

• A big part of the gameplay is gathering allies and companions the way an up-and-coming tribal chief would do.

[Kimmicomics]

this was beautiful!

[Zaboem]

Out first plot hook in the Big Roleplay Thread just walked into the tavern. Right now would be the best time to jump in.

[AllynCrowe]

I do remember that one time our Bard summoned a tuba and rolled to blow the skeletons away.

Cue natural 20

He blew the tuba so hard everyone had hearing damage and the skeletons turned to dust. It was hilarious.

[Kimmicomics]

My Dm once said just for fun, role D100 and what you wish is what you gain.

We all rolled for super awesome suff. ( but failed ) except for one.

our warlock wished for a sandwich....
He rolled a 100...
he gained.. a sandwich...

[Zaboem]

This reminds me of a classic tale from the early days of the internet.

The game was AD&D. The players were a bunch of knuckleheads, and their characters were not much wiser. The DM was very literal. The Big Bad was an evil sorceress with high level abilities. The player-characters somehow managed to reverse a Charm spell on her and made her fall hopelessly in love with the party's Barbarian. They figured out that the sorceress can cast the Wish spell. The Barbarian tells her to wish him up a huge pile of treasure. Zip Pow, the two of them are standing on a pile of gold coins. Then the barbarians says, "Babe, I wish you'd make me a sandwich."

[tencow]

last week, i DMed a group of friends and did an encounter with a nest of kobolds that could sink in and out of stone, and played the pillar men theme song everytime i summoned another one

[Akhdas]

dungeons and drama basically

[Zaboem]

This is the last call to join our dungeon crawl before the ship literally sails. In the Big Roleplaying Thread, we are running a short game I call "A Murder Hobo's Fairy Tale" and we need more players. Here is my offer. In addition to normal experience, if you participate, I will reward you with feedback on your series. One point of XP may be traded in for reading of one episode of your Tapas series with feedback -- no strings attached.