Trebblestress Edition
Here's my own page an there's a lot of great looking examples given throughout the topic.
@SakuraFujio
Your page is looking nice and you definitely put in a lot of detail. I think what will help you out a lot is to clean your page up. As you've probably noticed from the examples given, most of those pages have been cleaned, giving a very spotless appearance.
It may take some time but I think you should take what you have and outline it with either a dark pen or even digitally and erase all the gray blemishes. Make it entirely black and white. Then, again I would say digitally, if you want to add any shades, go right a head. In the end, it will definitely give your work a better appearance, especially if your trying to mimic the manga style.
It really depends on how you want to do it. Some people use their pen strokes to create the shading while others use differing forms of gray scale. However, like I said, in the hopes of helping your work become even better, try cleaning up your page a bit and you'll be on your way to a great piece of work.
In fact, reading through your story, I can already see where you do start adding in digital parts which is all the more reason to clean your page. That way there won't be a huge contrast between the sketch and the digital additions.