Anyone who likes Modern Fantasy, could you share your opinion?

[eldritchtroubadour]

I'm trying to improve my story and would appreciate any feedback. It's a story about a man who loses his wife, shortly before being sent to another world. There, he must go through the healing process, even if he stumbles a LOT along the way.

Anyway, hope anyone who gives it a try enjoys it and don't forget to tell me what you thought.

Read The Ascendant's Path | Tapas Web Community

[drbwp4]

I just read your first chapter, and honestly it was so good. I almost cried. The first line reeled me in immediately, and when the game was delivered to him I was choking up. Your descriptions are also really well written. The only thing that lost me was when he was going about his day. I honestly almost stopped reading, but I'm glad I didn't because the rest was really good.
Here is a video that helped me with my first chapter where I described my characters day. Hopefully it helps a little.

Your story probably doesn't need this as much as mine did, but if you don't use it for this story, you can use it for your next story.

[eldritchtroubadour]

Thanks for the feedback. The idea of that part is showing how his routine is changed now that his wife is no longer with him. Making two portions of the food, setting the table for two and then showing how he's not ready to hang out with people yet. All to build the idea he's in grief.

I also follow Jed Herne's content, he's an amazing resource for learning the trade. But thank you all the same for going out of your way to look for a video that might help me. I appreciate it.

[drbwp4]

You're welcome, I've been watching his videos as a reference for about a year now. I am still trying to get better as a writer and he definitely helps a lot.