77 / 85
May 2019

Are you golf course? cus I wanna put my balls into you. (classy).

“Is your name Google, because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”

12 days later

“You must be a magician, Because any time I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

For ace/aros:
"Are you a firework? Because you're beautiful and bright but I don't want you anywhere near my genitals."

For bi/pan
"I may bat for both teams but tonight I'm on your side."

Are you from hawaii? Cuz hawaii you make me feel this way?

D*mn, you fine---OH! WAIT! I-I'm sorry Officer! I-I didn't know you were und-undercover... but you fine girl--WAIT! NOT THE TASER! NOT THE TAS--GYAAGYAAGYAAGYAAGYAAAAA!

True Story... happened to a friend of a friend of a cousin-three-times-removed of mine... No we're not related

Hey girl, let me tie those shoes. I'm not letting you fall for anyone else.

A little outdated, but still a good one

did you butt-dial my phone? cuz I swear that booty is calling me

8 days later
9 days later