I do just fine with that type of fandom for the most part. They're adorably perverted.
In some cases they do kind of sexualize/objectify the men involved because they're used to traditional yaoi, but I don't really slam down on them for that. I feel that, rather than arguing angrily about it, it's better to keep creating media that goes against the clichés and promotes a more realistic view of gay people, and also expand their understanding to involve trans people, asexuals, intergender and intersex people. On top of that, promoting sex positivity, body positivity and the importance of consent is probably best done by placing a good example in front of them through your own creation. Once they see what a consensual and well balanced relationship looks like, they'll probably figure out for themselves that the yaoi/bl they'd seen so far was promoting some pretty bad things, and they'll mature with time.
However most of the people reading my stuff seem to be "with it" and already know what's acceptable and what isn't. Hell, they've even called me out on some stuff (stuff that isn't relevant to BL culture tho). They're good, honest people who take no bullcrap.
I have come across a few creators on the other hand that can be pretty pretentious, drama-driven or agressive. But I don't think that's a trait of the BL community, I think that's the matter of some people letting fame get to their heads. Once again, 99% of creators are awesome people too.
