Hi, I just read your first chapter and here are my thoughts! ^^
And by no means am I an expert when it comes to storytelling (still a newbie). Please take my advice with a grain of salt!
Positives:
First, amazing synopsis!
I LOVE your description of the story! It gives just the right amount of information. We, the reader, understand what the motivation/ goal is for the protagonist and what the inciting incident was that led the protagonist to act.
Second, great book title!
Your book title is great in hooking in your target audience and sets the overall plot and tone of your novel.
Third: Eye-catching cover!
I think your cover does a great job in conveying the overall tone and plot of your story. However, I do recommend that you reach out to the original artist and obtain their consent to use their illustration. If you can't, then I suggest either commissioning one from an artist or use an image that you know are usable for commercial use. There's also a ton of amazing creators/ artists on tapas, so maybe you can create a thread and ask if someone could draw you a cover either paid/ unpaid! ^^
Criticisms:
First, your title for the first chapter isn't "eye-catching."
What I mean by that is... It doesn't really hook in your reader. Having an interesting title could increase the probability of a potential reader to check out your work. Instead of "The beginning of the plot," maybe you can change it to: "Prologue: The Beginning".
If you find that you can't come up with one, try to look at your dialogue or scenes that you find to be significant to that chapter.
Second: There's a lot of grammatical errors.
It'll be helpful for you to proofread your work so that the reader doesn't get distracted from the story. If English is not your first language, I suggest using a proofreading service like Grammarly or Typely, though if you want advanced features, you may have to pay for a subscription You could also try asking your friends (or someone who is fluent in English) to look over your work before posting!
Third: The flow of the story could be improved upon.
While reading, I felt that you were all over the place... Sort of like you're just spitting things out without really connecting them together. Before sitting down and writing, it's really helpful to outline or even jot down your ideas. It helps you to see how you should incorporate those scenes so that the overall flow is smooth and easy for the reader to understand. Again, this really just goes down to doing a better job of thinking out the logistics on how you want to tell the story.
Good luck and don't be discouraged from my criticisms-- you'll definitely get better with practice!