[CLOSED] Giving your comic honest feedback/reviews

[diamondactor]

a short synopsis (2-5 sentences should be enough to convey what your story is about, you can just copy/paste your summary if you think it does the job)

Silver Heart is a teen with a checkered past. His whole life he’s had to fight to survive, but it’s only in death that his whole world is turned upside down. He learns he is something known as the Full Moon King. A being that could lead everyone to their salvation, all to their damnation, or down a new path. The question is: what path is he walking down?

the genre(s) it falls under
Action/Fantasy/Adventure/Drama

what you want my critique to focus on (eg, story, art, layout)
I guess the story

which updates specifically you want me to look at (if your story isn't linear, ie gag comics)
Each update is only a page and there's 3 bonus, warning, and intro poem you can ignore if you want so 9 important pages out of the 14

Full Moon King (FMK) | Tapas

[scribesunlimited]

@ItzaMeLuigi You certainly do have a reviewer's eye. I'm very impressed.

[amthecomic]

I see the problems you´ve pointed out.
We were already pretty worried about the pacing of the story but since this is my first try at webcomics, I didn´t want anything long. However on the next projects I will try to do it much better. It´s always helpful to get honest feedback on the work. Thank you so much for your helpful review.

[ItzaMeLuigi]

Like I've mentioned in my previous critiques for comedy comics, the art work isn't as important as the quality of jokes but should act as a medium to tell them. While your art isn't anything to write home about, it definitely gets the job done in creating the setting and displaying the actions of the main characters. What I would like to mention is your paneling (especially since you asked for feedback on it). As of now, the layout itself is very bland. Every chapter follows the same format of rectangular panels stacked one on top of another with the only different panel being this one from chapter 3. I'd recommend you change things around a little bit to "spice things up". That doesn't mean changing the layout for the sake of changing the layout, but by making changes that complement either the art or the story. I'd also make sure that each panel flows properly into one another without jarring breaks between them.

One thing I'd like to do is ask who the audience is for this comic. Right now, I get the impression that your target demographic is young children. The entire "feeling" of the comic feels like a flip book a kid might pick up at the library to read. This definitely isn't a bad thing, but it is if you're trying to appeal to an older group of people. This mainly comes from the fact that the dialogue and situations your characters get in feel very childish. If you're reaching your demographic then don't worry about it, but if you're not I'd recommend thinking more about what your target demographic is looking for.

In the notes I made a couple weeks ago when I first read this, I mentioned something about not using enough contractions making the conversations feel stiff and awkward. I'm not too sure if you went back and edited some of the dialogue or if past me was a little too tired when writing these notes, but if you did make some changes you did a good job.

With all of that said, I don't really have much else to critique. Since you've adopted the "episodic" approach where chapters (for the most part) are disconnected from each other, there isn't a plot that I could give feedback on. The characters also haven't had enough time to have any sort of development although they seem to be basic archetypes in this current state. Sorry for taking so long to get to this!

[ItzaMeLuigi]

There's not much to critique so far but I'll give my initial impressions on what's been posted.

First off, I'm really enjoying your panel layout. Each page feels unique and the panels flow together very well. One thing I'd look out for is your use of black in a panel that's on a black background. While it's not the worst to look at, the panel ends up blending together with the background making it difficult to distinguish (unless that's intentional).

This brings me to my next point - colour. It's always a bit of a letdown when you start reading something in full colour and then it switches to black and white and this is no different. I'm not here to say that you should go back to colouring each page - I'm sure you have your reasons for making the switch (assuming time) - but just know that it can be a deal breaker for a lot of people. That being said, the colour added to the panels adds a nice bit of emphasis to certain panels.

As for the story, I can't really say much about it because there hasn't really been enough time for one to form. Looking at the synopsis you posted, it looks like it can be fairly interesting if done right. It might be a bit generic depending on how the idea is executed (since it doesn't seem the most original), but it'd be a bit presumptuous to assume that off a 5 sentence summary.

Lastly, I'd slow down on the bonus episodes. Having too many can feel like bloat and deter people from subscribing or encourage people to unsubscribe. Unless you have an audience extremely committed to your work, I'd space out the "filler" posts a bit more or combine them together into a longer release.

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With that, reviews are open again! I'll try to get to them a little quicker this time, but I won't make any promises I might not be able to keep.

[aqua03]

Just dropping by to say Nice username, BTW.

[Mesus_Rats]

I love this concept! Please review mine:)

Game Of Death | Tapas

[ItzaMeLuigi]

If you'd like a critique, please follow the the format posted in the OP!

[ignika1998]

Hey sorry I'm like 2 months late but I wanted to thank you for writing such a lengthy response.

A lot of what you said is true. This comic started way back in 2018 and since then I've learned a lot about writing and I feel you with things like the pacing issues and lack of proper character interactions.

I've been trying to slow the story down a bit in the more recent chapters in order to give the characters time to breathe. But since I'm building upon an already shaky foundation, some things are ought to be a bit off. Still though, I'm doing whatever I can to pace things properly while keeping them consistent.

As for the art, I don't feel like I can comment much on what you said cause I'm not the artist. The only thing I can say is that the background from chapter 1 that you linked to was actually drawn AFTER the one from chapter 14. We went back and added a lot of extra scenes to chapters 1-3 after a hiatus we took a few years ago. So that's why some earlier parts might look better than others.

The last thing I wanted to mention was about the whole "Maverick faking his death" thing. The setup is meant to be full of holes, and it's something the story will revisit soon. I've actually already hinted at what it could be during chapters 15 and 18. Although I don't blame you for not realizing that, as I don't think really conveyed that aspect properly.

Either way I'm really grateful you took the time to critique my webcomic in such detail. If you're ever interested, I'd love to hear what you think of the newest chapters. I've written them much more recently and they're part of my attempt to fix the pacing and character issues.

[Pommie]

I'll give it a try for my comic!

• A story about a young man named Mickey Diamond, with an alter ego named Star Boy, a super hero in training in the city of downtown Metropolia. Good looks, prideful attitude, and a mouth that runs on snark? What could go wrong?!

• Genre: Action / Superhero / Sci-fi / Adventure

• Crits should focus on Story, pacing, art. [My layouts aren't the best because the true format is horizontal but I break apart all the panels to make them suit the vertical format

• Anything past the prologue is preferred, since the prologue was written in 2019, so it was me going back into comics again.

The webtoons link has the more recent updates while the tapas link has the 'bulk' of most of the updates.

Star Boy

Star boy | Tapas

[Messaff]

Synopsis: Aki is your average run of the mill unemployed twenty-something, except he can summon a magical sword at will. Now what's a guy to do other then slay the demons that are materialising in his town, for a price of course. The market is ripe for the taking.

Genre: Action/Fantasy

Focus: I would love some feedback on my art as I think its missing something to it and my writing because I always second guess myself on it. Of course if you find something else to criticise please mention it. I really need some proper feedback because I feel like I'm in a glasshouse with my comic.

Specifics: I would like the feedback more on my newer chapters because I'm changing my format a bit.

Double Crimson | Tapas

[KhanSpring]

Here it is:
Synopsis: Four siblings trying to survive in the game of politics and magic, while strugling with learning more and more about their family secrets. With the lives of hundreds on the palms of your hands how much can you do to please everyone.
Genre: Fantasy/Drama/Comedy

Focus: I would love some feedback on my storytelling and capturing emotions, as well as knowing if I expalin well in the discription/comments

Specifics: My newest chapters has been having low rates, so I would like to know if I did something wrong.

Daystar (Dennica) | Tapas

[ComicOfThe5]

Hello! thank you so much for your review I really appreciate it

[JalenET]

I would like a full review of my comic series and how it's going so far.

Peacemaker Chronicles (2020) | Tapas

[ItzaMeLuigi]

Since the comic is still fairly short, I read through all of it so the critique will be based on everything.

Looking at the art, the characters and character design is pretty good. I like the shading and you do a great job at making each of them expressive. My issue is with the backgrounds. I think the biggest problem is their lack of shading which makes things look out of place. Some backgrounds also seem lazily done and bland in the sense that not much thought it put into it (in the second picture, why is there a brick wall which partially covers the window and what is the blue void in the top left corner). While you can put less effort into backgrounds readers will skim over fairly quickly, putting too little effort can break immersion by not properly building the world around. There are also some awkward transitions, I'm assuming artifacts from translating from horizontal to vertical.

The main character doesn't stick out to me. As of now he's following fairly generic tropes which makes him feel flat. Of course the story's only just begun so I'm sure you'll have the time in the future for proper development. I liked that you didn't go for the usual "tough asshole boss" route with Caroline and showed that she's actually scared once she's alone. Out of all the characters so far, I'd say she's gotten the best introduction. In terms of dialogue, it bounces back in an organic way which is nice. I'd try to keep the text size somewhat consistent, but other than that I don't really have any other complaints.

I'd say the pace you're going at right now is solid. It's usually a difficult thing to balance because you want to rush ahead to get to the good parts while also taking your time to properly develop your story. You've found a good middle ground where things aren't moving so slow that I'm bored but also not too fast where I'm lost.

As of now, there isn't much to the plot. We have some backstory, we have a wannabe hero, but we don't have anything else. There isn't a clear goal set right now (I wouldn't say "becoming a hero" qualifies for that) so that's probably something you should consider introducing soon. The audience (typically) wants to see the path the story will take to get invested.

[ItzaMeLuigi]

I'll try to get to them a little quicker this time, but I won't make any promises I might not be able to keep.

Well that's good I didn't make any promises...

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Starting with the artwork, it's pretty good. I'd say to focus more on practicing to draw human characters. There are certain panels which feel a bit off (I found that the characters faces were "shrunk" on a few panels which would be fixed just be enlarging them a bit) but nothing that stood out as bad. You also mentioned that your art is "missing something" and I can definitely see where you're coming from. I personally think it's the colouring; there's a lot of flat colours used. Introducing some slight gradients on top of shading might make things a little better.

To me it looks like you started the comic following a more traditional page format, but decided to switch to vertical scrolling partway through. I had some feedback on how to format the text better although that became obsolete with the new format. If you're asking why I'm writing about it if there's no feedback to give, I wrote several points on it while reading and I'll be damned if they go to waste!

Onto actual feedback about the text, add a thicker stroke to bubble-less text. It's currently extremely difficult to try and read. You should also either make the bubbles slightly bigger or the text slightly smaller (I'd suggest using a smaller font size personally) so the text isn't pushing up against the border of the bubbles. You want a little bit of white space around the edges. On another note, there's a few typos here and there so maybe look into a reviewer who'll skim through your panels before you post.

The story seems like it could be interesting. I've always been a bit of a sucker for "normal person gets special powers" trope so there's probably a bit of bias though. Nothing stands out as super unique yet but like almost everything I review, there hasn't really been enough time for anything to develop. My one complaint is with the exposition. It's difficult to balance giving the reader feedback without forcing information in a way that feels unnatural, but yours seems to be falling closer to the latter (Breath Devoid 7). In the future, try to incorporate information more naturally so it isn't just a guy giving out information unprompted.

[Messaff]

Thank you. I've needed feedback like this where I can see what I'm doing wrong.

Yeah since then I've noticed that its definitely the colouring. I have been looking for someone who will help me with it because its the most time consuming part. I also see what you mean with the exposition, I felt at the time that I needed to get out what auras are right away but I could have gave it some more time to make it more natural and let the reader figure it out to some extent before a normal explanation. I really am hoping my comic can eventually stand out because this is the most fun I've had with a comic.

I hope this doesn't sound too much like an excuse but lately work is insane. No breaks 10 hour long shifts type stuff so I'm afraid my quality is going down. Its why I took a week off but even so the colouring I had to hurry through because I simply didn't have the time for it.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. I genuinely appreciate the feedback and try to implement it!

[ItzaMeLuigi]

Sorry but I'm only reviewing comics in this thread!

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Well that took a lot longer than expected, but I'm finally caught up so reviews are open again! Like usual I'll have 3 slots available and it'll be first come first serve. As a reminder, I won't be critiquing your comic if you don't follow the format posted in the OP.

[MegaRay]

Would love to hear feedback from a action/adventure/fantasy reader. Thanks for the opportunity!

Synopsis: While the rest of his world springs back to life after a grueling war, Lars shuns the celebrations. The greatest national hero, the shaman who is about to receive the Shepard’s Peace Laurels, has murdered Lars' parents. Since nobody believes the accusations from a brush teen, Lars must avenge his family on his own or he would never be able to reunite with their spirit.

Genres: Fantasy, Action.

Focus: I would love to hear feedback on the story/plot/characters/pacing.

Shaman Shepard | Tapas

[Spoonyenertainment]

This is a fantasy,comedy,action novel

Drunk Souls | Tapas