[CLOSED] Giving your comic honest feedback/reviews

[ItzaMeLuigi]

If you'd like a critique, please follow the the format posted in the OP!

[ignika1998]

Hey sorry I'm like 2 months late but I wanted to thank you for writing such a lengthy response.

A lot of what you said is true. This comic started way back in 2018 and since then I've learned a lot about writing and I feel you with things like the pacing issues and lack of proper character interactions.

I've been trying to slow the story down a bit in the more recent chapters in order to give the characters time to breathe. But since I'm building upon an already shaky foundation, some things are ought to be a bit off. Still though, I'm doing whatever I can to pace things properly while keeping them consistent.

As for the art, I don't feel like I can comment much on what you said cause I'm not the artist. The only thing I can say is that the background from chapter 1 that you linked to was actually drawn AFTER the one from chapter 14. We went back and added a lot of extra scenes to chapters 1-3 after a hiatus we took a few years ago. So that's why some earlier parts might look better than others.

The last thing I wanted to mention was about the whole "Maverick faking his death" thing. The setup is meant to be full of holes, and it's something the story will revisit soon. I've actually already hinted at what it could be during chapters 15 and 18. Although I don't blame you for not realizing that, as I don't think really conveyed that aspect properly.

Either way I'm really grateful you took the time to critique my webcomic in such detail. If you're ever interested, I'd love to hear what you think of the newest chapters. I've written them much more recently and they're part of my attempt to fix the pacing and character issues.

[Pommie]

I'll give it a try for my comic!

• A story about a young man named Mickey Diamond, with an alter ego named Star Boy, a super hero in training in the city of downtown Metropolia. Good looks, prideful attitude, and a mouth that runs on snark? What could go wrong?!

• Genre: Action / Superhero / Sci-fi / Adventure

• Crits should focus on Story, pacing, art. [My layouts aren't the best because the true format is horizontal but I break apart all the panels to make them suit the vertical format

• Anything past the prologue is preferred, since the prologue was written in 2019, so it was me going back into comics again.

The webtoons link has the more recent updates while the tapas link has the 'bulk' of most of the updates.

Star Boy

Star boy | Tapas

[Messaff]

Synopsis: Aki is your average run of the mill unemployed twenty-something, except he can summon a magical sword at will. Now what's a guy to do other then slay the demons that are materialising in his town, for a price of course. The market is ripe for the taking.

Genre: Action/Fantasy

Focus: I would love some feedback on my art as I think its missing something to it and my writing because I always second guess myself on it. Of course if you find something else to criticise please mention it. I really need some proper feedback because I feel like I'm in a glasshouse with my comic.

Specifics: I would like the feedback more on my newer chapters because I'm changing my format a bit.

Double Crimson | Tapas

[KhanSpring]

Here it is:
Synopsis: Four siblings trying to survive in the game of politics and magic, while strugling with learning more and more about their family secrets. With the lives of hundreds on the palms of your hands how much can you do to please everyone.
Genre: Fantasy/Drama/Comedy

Focus: I would love some feedback on my storytelling and capturing emotions, as well as knowing if I expalin well in the discription/comments

Specifics: My newest chapters has been having low rates, so I would like to know if I did something wrong.

Daystar (Dennica) | Tapas

[ComicOfThe5]

Hello! thank you so much for your review I really appreciate it

[JalenET]

I would like a full review of my comic series and how it's going so far.

Peacemaker Chronicles (2020) | Tapas

[ItzaMeLuigi]

Since the comic is still fairly short, I read through all of it so the critique will be based on everything.

Looking at the art, the characters and character design is pretty good. I like the shading and you do a great job at making each of them expressive. My issue is with the backgrounds. I think the biggest problem is their lack of shading which makes things look out of place. Some backgrounds also seem lazily done and bland in the sense that not much thought it put into it (in the second picture, why is there a brick wall which partially covers the window and what is the blue void in the top left corner). While you can put less effort into backgrounds readers will skim over fairly quickly, putting too little effort can break immersion by not properly building the world around. There are also some awkward transitions, I'm assuming artifacts from translating from horizontal to vertical.

The main character doesn't stick out to me. As of now he's following fairly generic tropes which makes him feel flat. Of course the story's only just begun so I'm sure you'll have the time in the future for proper development. I liked that you didn't go for the usual "tough asshole boss" route with Caroline and showed that she's actually scared once she's alone. Out of all the characters so far, I'd say she's gotten the best introduction. In terms of dialogue, it bounces back in an organic way which is nice. I'd try to keep the text size somewhat consistent, but other than that I don't really have any other complaints.

I'd say the pace you're going at right now is solid. It's usually a difficult thing to balance because you want to rush ahead to get to the good parts while also taking your time to properly develop your story. You've found a good middle ground where things aren't moving so slow that I'm bored but also not too fast where I'm lost.

As of now, there isn't much to the plot. We have some backstory, we have a wannabe hero, but we don't have anything else. There isn't a clear goal set right now (I wouldn't say "becoming a hero" qualifies for that) so that's probably something you should consider introducing soon. The audience (typically) wants to see the path the story will take to get invested.

[ItzaMeLuigi]

I'll try to get to them a little quicker this time, but I won't make any promises I might not be able to keep.

Well that's good I didn't make any promises...

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Starting with the artwork, it's pretty good. I'd say to focus more on practicing to draw human characters. There are certain panels which feel a bit off (I found that the characters faces were "shrunk" on a few panels which would be fixed just be enlarging them a bit) but nothing that stood out as bad. You also mentioned that your art is "missing something" and I can definitely see where you're coming from. I personally think it's the colouring; there's a lot of flat colours used. Introducing some slight gradients on top of shading might make things a little better.

To me it looks like you started the comic following a more traditional page format, but decided to switch to vertical scrolling partway through. I had some feedback on how to format the text better although that became obsolete with the new format. If you're asking why I'm writing about it if there's no feedback to give, I wrote several points on it while reading and I'll be damned if they go to waste!

Onto actual feedback about the text, add a thicker stroke to bubble-less text. It's currently extremely difficult to try and read. You should also either make the bubbles slightly bigger or the text slightly smaller (I'd suggest using a smaller font size personally) so the text isn't pushing up against the border of the bubbles. You want a little bit of white space around the edges. On another note, there's a few typos here and there so maybe look into a reviewer who'll skim through your panels before you post.

The story seems like it could be interesting. I've always been a bit of a sucker for "normal person gets special powers" trope so there's probably a bit of bias though. Nothing stands out as super unique yet but like almost everything I review, there hasn't really been enough time for anything to develop. My one complaint is with the exposition. It's difficult to balance giving the reader feedback without forcing information in a way that feels unnatural, but yours seems to be falling closer to the latter (Breath Devoid 7). In the future, try to incorporate information more naturally so it isn't just a guy giving out information unprompted.

[Messaff]

Thank you. I've needed feedback like this where I can see what I'm doing wrong.

Yeah since then I've noticed that its definitely the colouring. I have been looking for someone who will help me with it because its the most time consuming part. I also see what you mean with the exposition, I felt at the time that I needed to get out what auras are right away but I could have gave it some more time to make it more natural and let the reader figure it out to some extent before a normal explanation. I really am hoping my comic can eventually stand out because this is the most fun I've had with a comic.

I hope this doesn't sound too much like an excuse but lately work is insane. No breaks 10 hour long shifts type stuff so I'm afraid my quality is going down. Its why I took a week off but even so the colouring I had to hurry through because I simply didn't have the time for it.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. I genuinely appreciate the feedback and try to implement it!

[ItzaMeLuigi]

Sorry but I'm only reviewing comics in this thread!

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Well that took a lot longer than expected, but I'm finally caught up so reviews are open again! Like usual I'll have 3 slots available and it'll be first come first serve. As a reminder, I won't be critiquing your comic if you don't follow the format posted in the OP.

[MegaRay]

Would love to hear feedback from a action/adventure/fantasy reader. Thanks for the opportunity!

Synopsis: While the rest of his world springs back to life after a grueling war, Lars shuns the celebrations. The greatest national hero, the shaman who is about to receive the Shepard’s Peace Laurels, has murdered Lars' parents. Since nobody believes the accusations from a brush teen, Lars must avenge his family on his own or he would never be able to reunite with their spirit.

Genres: Fantasy, Action.

Focus: I would love to hear feedback on the story/plot/characters/pacing.

Shaman Shepard | Tapas

[Spoonyenertainment]

This is a fantasy,comedy,action novel

Drunk Souls | Tapas

[IndigoShirtProd]

Is it alright if I ask you how long you're going to be doing this? You give such good criticism and I would really like your advice in the future. I'm in the middle of redoing my first chapter I'm hoping that by the I finish, you'll still be doing reviews, whether or not you're open or closed for new reviews. Of course, I'm not asking to reserve a spot or anything like that.

[alextsarace]

1) Diego Carlos, the 15 years old, discovers he has extraordinary powers. With the help of his friends, Matt, Emma, ​​and Al, he has to figure out how to use them, save NYC, The US and the rest of the world from the imminent threat.
2) Fantasy, LGBTQ+, Slice of life, Comedy
3) I'm interested in complex critiques, but if you find something you want to highlight especially, it's ok!

M. A. D. E. Elements | Tapas

[nickolaidas]

1)

Oni Hunters | Tapas

2) Fantasy, Super Heroes, GL, Drama, Comedy, Mystery

3) Characterization, Dialogue, Art

4) Chapters 3, 5, 6 and 8 are amongst my favorites so far, but if you want to chomp down the whole 8 issues, be my guest.

[ItzaMeLuigi]

Honestly I'm not too sure. I guess I'll stop when doing these critiques start to feel more like a chore than anything. I've been slowing down how often I do reviews so I don't get burnt out (plus classes picking up has eaten a lot of my time) so hopefully it's not any time soon!

[IndigoShirtProd]

Okay! Just wanted to ask to make sure. Hopefully I'll finish before you decide to call it quits. Good luck in your classes, I know how that feels. . .

[ItzaMeLuigi]

To start things off, I really enjoyed the paneling of your story. I found that the panels themselves flow pretty well into one another and give focus where it's needed. For the bubbling, there are definitely areas that can use some work. Take this example, the text seems to be crammed in the the box making it awkward to look at (not to mention the text itself is off centered.

The art itself is also not bad. The backgrounds are nice and vibrant although I'd say that the character design and facial expressions could use some work. I see a lot of people have difficulties drawing faces specifically (which isn't surprising considering they're extremely hard to draw), especially from different angles so that's something you should practice. I'm not an artist myself so I can't really give any specific pointers or point you to any specific resources to help out, but I'm sure there's a plethora online if you go looking for it. Most of your front facing shots are good though. As an aside, Jack's Spirit kinda looks like you just pasted an image of a skull onto the page. I don't know if that's actually what you did or not, but it feels very jarring and out of place because of its shading.

The story is probably the weakest part of the comic. It seems to be all over the place, jumping from the present to flashbacks and location to location without really any room for the reader to breath. This is mostly the issue with improper pacing since it feels like your foot's been on the gas the entire time. I know the desire to get into the meat of your story, but it's important to build up the world around you first. The dialogue is another aspect that should be looked at. There's quite a few moments where it's forced and sounds like it would come from a Shakespearean play rather than a kid's internal monologue. I've brought this up in many of my previous critiques, but writing natural conversation is hard. The amount of times I'll write and revise something just to revise it again is too high to count. It's especially helpful if you can have someone else read your work over since it's a lot easier to judge someone else's work than your own.

[MegaRay]

About the story, although I tried to pace it well, it seems I failed at that. I admit I've put my foot on the gas to reach a certain plot point, and maybe that was a mistake, but hopefully, by the next chapter, I will give time for readers to breathe, and hopefully, after that, the pacing will be good. Honestly, the pacing is the most I struggle with, especially for the beginning of a story. Some tell me it is too slow readers will be bored, and some say it moves so fast. I try to balance it but to no luck.

For the dialogue, I will keep that in mind writing future dialogue/internal monologues.

All in all, This is a very detailed review with examples. I love it, thank you very much. I want to improve my work, and this is very detailed.