(come at me bro) Would anyone be willing to review or critique my short series

[davonbrooks95]

I've have been wanting this for a while if you would be so kind as to tell my your thoughts and opinions on the writing and art of my short series.

i want to hear it all from the i think the bunny character is cute (Positive Review) to Man, what is this garbage that you've plagued on society Negative Review).
it is my plan to take in all of your reviews an use them to improve my comic making craft
so the next story i produce will be vastly superior to this one.

also i don't know if this relevant or not but this is my first comic,
that being said i want you to be as brutally honest as possible.

thanks in advance to whoever takes the time to give me a solid review.
p.s im taking actual physical notes of the critiques to have a concrete list of what i need to improve on.
Unlocked: A Knights Code

[AndrewSutton]

If you view and review my page, sure I'll critique yours

[BladeRabbit]

Hello, I just read through your comic and subbed and all that.

It's a real nice read actually, the art is nice and the story isn't hard to follow.
I think if I need to give any advice on what to improve, it might be that the characters sometimes feel a bit static with their posing and emotion. Easiest way to put it is to not be afraid to use more expressive body language to make them feel more lively.

Also I feel like sometimes a scene doesn't sit for long enough or feels a bit rigid. I think if the characters spent a little more time talking or interacting it'd help a bit.
Stuff like the part where Rikki and Jaq go to the mayors office to find clues it feels rushed that they find the clue immediately. I think this could have been an interesting spot to show us how they go about solving the problem in their own way or shown how their methods, and by extension their personalities are different.

I guess my advice is to try and let the scene flow more naturally into the next plot point. It's the journey not the destination and all that.

Overall though, I like the lighthearted style of story you have going and I'm enjoying it!

[WakaXO]

Hey, I read through your comic and here is my take aways;
I like your style, its very cute and clean. Your character designs are also nice, very memorable. Its easy to imagine your comic as a cartoon network type show, the style is fun and quirky .
A small problem I pick out was your lettering is a bit off sometimes, the words were sometimes touching the edge of the word bubbles, you could centre it a bit better. (I struggle with this personally. Here are some threads that discussed this topic; Here and Here ) Also your over all colours look a little flat, you could add a little shading/highlighs to spruce it up a bit.
Good luck in the future with your comic! XD

[davonbrooks95]

thank you for taking the time to give me a critique. i completely agree with you, the coloring and lettering are to me one of the huge weak points of my work. it is my plan to take month off work on improving my story and work showing improvement in the various aspects of visual storytelling in the next story. also you flatter me with that cartoon network comment

[davonbrooks95]

your right i should work to really push the poses to better convey the emotions of the characters. i am working on improving my draftsmanship and story telling. i want to give the audience a reason to like the characters besides just the art style or character designs. thank you a lot for subbing but more importantly taking the time to give me an in depth critique

[davonbrooks95]

sure i will but where should i post it.

[BladeRabbit]

No problem, you'll have it all down in no time.

Never stop growing!

[AndrewSutton]

Erm, I dunno lol, I'm new and still learning the site.
I figured you'd send it as PM or post to my wall?