Thank you so very much about the critique, it was very much needed, I know my older chapters were terrible but I hope that my last 4 chapters showed improvement in that, the typos are in progress of getting fixed as i type this.
I wander one thing, about the character size, i didn't quite understand what you mean?
do they all look the same size? they have different heights and masses, maybe i misinterpret.
I don't mean between character, they all have different sizes indeed. The size thing has to do more with panel size, if a panel is bigger it allows you to draw your character bigger (say a close up to the face, here is an example)
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Now I am not saying to follow a manga style, but you can tell what I mean by different panel sizes as it allows to draw her in various 'sizes' (half body close up, letting you see more of the face). That is what I meant.
Ohhhh I see What you mean now, I'll keep an eye out for things like that.
Thank you for explaining and showing an example it helps to understand. That makes me want to work harder!
Thank you so much for the review and critique!
Here is my review:
-Art-
I really like how clean and smooth the lines are, yet they seem to thick. I think you should try to lower the brush size as making everything the same thickness can hurt a bit when it comes to show depth among other aspects. I also thing going with grey for shadows instead of completely black will help. It'll help define what is a line from the 'folds' of the clothes and what is a shadow as sometimes shadows just look like really thick lines instead of being a shadow being cast.
Outside of those aspect I really like the clean work, great work on zippers too and on many small details (keyboard, mouse, etc).
-Writting-
There really isn't much dialogue, so can't say much here. Not saying the emotion or things aren't 'told', you simply do it via the art and surrounding which is a really great way to do so too. As for the actual writting I do like the font and haven't seen any errors.
-Paneling-
I suggest creating space between them, in some cases is hard to notice when one ends and another begins (the snowing one is the most this happen). Just create some space between them so the white creates the break period and one can register when a panel is over and the other begins.
-Story-
There isn't much of one at the moment, is mostly moments in her life (which is clearly explained in the description). I did wish some other things happen as the sleep deprived state plays in with her seeing gaming stuff during normal walking moments. Bring in the aspect of the sleep deprived into the daily life. I know is a slice-of-life, but it needs a bit more of a hook to keep it interesting. Same as the snow part, bring in her love of gaming, say when she is doing the snow angel she adds a twist of doing only one wing (in reference to Sephiroth and the theme one wing angel).
Hope this helps you out and continue your great work 
I sadly don't do novels, but I'll review the comic version.
-Art-
I actually have seen your art as you post in facebook and always found it nice. It has this european style to it which fits in with story and time period (as well as location, of course the dream of present time still fit the art style). I like the hatch shadows in parts too gives it a nice touch.
I also got to say you have some great backgrounds, it really feels like they move from place to place thanks to the background work!
-Writing-
I notice you mention English not being your first language so mistakes are understandable. I do suggest trying to get a beta reader of sort to proof read the material before posting. Also try making text a bit bigger as sometimes it can be hard to read. Otherwise I do like the dialogue and you throw in some humor here and there to keep things lighted when needs to be.
-Paneling-
The panel format feel they follow a manga style which is good and you created good space and separation between the panels, I would suggest to be award that sometimes page or panel seem to repeat which might cause a bit of confusion, outside of that I feel your panel work is good.
-Story-
I am really liking the story and the lore you are building, the explanation on magic and how it works is also great. You combine the action and the explanation aspect really well creating a good break from both. I like all the characters and glad they have a clear motivation on doings things. I see you have been planting some foreshadowing of maybe future events or story aspect which is also a nice touch!
Keep up the great work.
Sorry for the long delay on you review, here it is:
-Art-
Your line look a bit wiggly and lack smoothness to them. If you are doing digital I suggest and application that has a stabilizer and helps smooth out the line work. Also play with the thickness of the lines, thicker lines tend to look smoother and give more body to the overall characters.
I like the proportion of your character as it does give it a unique feel to your comic, I know most like more human like proportion but sometimes different kind of proportions work for the comic itself.
Coloring does need some work as the color feel really simple and clash sometimes. I would suggest some light shadow to create a bit of depth and make the colors pop out a bit more. No need for all shadow works, just some careful shadows here and there to bring out the colors a bit more to life.
-Writing-
I like your idea of using different color ballons for characters to make it easy to know who is talking, yet some color combinations don't work (blue and black). Don't make all the text black (or have a darker tone from the speech bubble). Work with the text so is easier to read againts the color background (if blue, go with white, is easier to read and easier on the eyes). I do like the handwritten style of the font and is easy to read (most handwritten style can be hard actually), you have a good size and didn't really find mistake while reading.
It has nice back and forth between characters instead of feeling like a force script it feels natural as they speak.
-Panels-
I feel this has a comic like panel style which works, I would maybe give a bit more space between panels as it allows more wiggle room when you are putting speech bubbles, but otherwise is really good work.
-Story-
I read it when it was all combine and feel you 'split' it up into pages now if I am not wrong? I like the combine one a bit better as it allow easier reading to keep up with the story, but if works easier for you on page being separated is not a minus or anything. I am liking the setup going on right now and your take on the Jekyll and Hyde story. Hope to see how it continues to grow in the story aspect!
@moonfixer Sorry for the delay I'll review yours as soon as possible (hopefully this saturday). @hevahart Will do so along with moonfixer's one (probably saturday).
Please let me know if you at least checkout my comic, no need for review but a comment about it would be highly appreciated.
Hello, thanks for giving others here an opportunity for this! If you are not too busy, I'd like you to review my comic. It's still fairly recent but I figure it's good to get some earlier feedback so I can still fix things up for future chapters (and possibly edit the already released ones when I have a chance).
I'm surprised I haven't been in this thread yet! I'm always looking for some feedback on my work so that I can make improvements when the next chapter starts!
The first chapter isn't that good in my opinion as the pacing and art were still a bit underdeveloped - but the later ones are much nicer to look at lol.
Warnings for sex and drugs and rock and roll - all the good stuff.
Here is my review
-Art-
I wish there was more consistency in the style of the art. It tends to jump here and there, the last chapters I think you are doing good though. I like the variety of cast and they all feeling different. I like that you give background different colors instead of leaving it just plain white, gives it a nice touch and difference. I got to say you nail doing Cassie grinding, is the best pose drawn. Not saying this in a bad way, it is actually good and I am sure you could apply same attention to other parts that would make it look amazing all around.
-Writting and story-
I am going to combine both, since is hard to speak of one without mentioning the other. I'll give it to you, this stuff is funny. I was thinking 'man this series is a bit long' and though I wouldn't read it all fully to be able to review on time..but the joke and comedy kept me going to read each chapter. The non=care attitude toward sidekick sealman has and ever changing them. The mistake good guy do causing villian to just die (hanging them from really high and rope breaking, that one got me!). I hope you keep this slight evil humor going on and continue the lore of the dating, Cassie continue borderline cheating, Sealman getting new sidekicks. You are doing a great job!
I didn't really see any errors or typos from my side. Great work!
-Paneling-
I like how you use the vertical format well, it allows for that surprise reveal of the next panel and it really works well. Not much else I can say here but to keep using this method as it works well!!
Hope you guys don't mind waiting.
