Comic book script

[kwestlake99]

Hello

I am an aspiring comic book creator and was wonder if some of you would be willing to check out the prologue of one of my comics and see what ya'll think. All of the stories I've written so far only exist in script format at this time, and out of all of them, this one, I believe, is the strongest. I have envisioned this story is a manga-like style, though read from right to left, with color, too, thought I would not say no to it being in black and white. If anyone here thinks, or knows anyone, who things their art style matches with this material, please let me know, and maybe we can see about potentially collaborating. Serious inquierous only. Critiques are welcome as well

PROLOUGE
PAGE 1
Panel 1: The entire page is black, apart from the quote spelled out in white lettering.
“LISTEN TO THEM—THE CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT. WHAT MUSIC THEY MAKE!”
Bram Stoker’s
Dracula
PAGE 2
Panel 1: Rain slashes the Seattle skyline.
Panel 2: The neon sign for the HARPOON BAR & GRILL flickers.
Panel 3: Looking at the exterior of the bar, we see the alley beside it. We hear a loud commotion coming from within the bar.
PAGE 3
Panel 1: In the ally, a pair of stone steps lead up to an EMPLOYEES AND DELIVERY ONLY entrance.
Panel 2: The door bursts open and a man with a blond ponytail comes flying out, a pair of hands can be seen from the doorway after releasing him from their grip.
Panel 3: The man skids across the pavement.
Voice (off image): And stay out!
PAGE 4
Panel 1: The man gets on his knees.
Panel 2: He pulls a clump of his hair away from his face.
Panel 3: With an angry, drunk face, the man screams.
Man: YOU JUST LOST A CUSTOMER BUB!!!
Panel 4: The man treks down the alley towards the back side of the bar.
Man: Sons of bitches! They don’t know who they’re messing with!
PAGE 5
Panel 1: The man emerges on to a backstreet, dotted with loading docks, dumpsters, and fire escapes.
Man: They think they’re better than me?! Think they can—
Panel 2: Still looking at the man from behind, we see the silhouette of something moving behind him.
Panel 3: A loud CRASH is heard, and the man spins around.
Man: What the—!
Panel 4: We see nothing in the alley but a fallen trashcan, its contents spilled out across the pavement.
PAGE 6
Panel 1: The man turns around in anger.
Man: Fuckin’ cats!
Panel 2: The man is turned around, about to move on. Down the alley, a dark figure detaches itself from the shadows and we catch a glimpse of its furry, clawed armed. A deep growl is heard.
Panel 3: The man spins around again, his face tight with anger.
Man: You fuckin’ shits! Mess with me and I’ll wring your—
Panel 4: The man’s eye widens with shock.
PAGE 7
Panel 1: Four inhuman figures stand scattered across the alleyway their eyes piercing in the dark. Two lean against opposite walls, another is perched on a dumpster, the fourth crouched low to the ground near the fallen trashcan.
PAGE 8
Panel 1: Fear plagues the man’s face.
Panel 2: He begins to back away.
Panel 3: A shadow looms over him.
Panel 4: The man is half-turned. Towering over him is a fifth figure, larger than him in size.
PAGE 9
Panel 1: The creature opens it’s mouth, revealing an arsenal of teeth.
Panel 2: It raises it’s clawed hand.
Panel 3: The man’s face as the clawed hand nears his face.
Panel 4: The rest of the page is black, and all we hear is the man’s agonizing scream.
Man (off image): AAAAHHHH!

[diamondactor]

Slightly off topic, but generally interested if you can answer this. Do you publish the scripts and do people read them as script format? I've always been under the impression you couldn't just publish a script, but I would be happy if that was a false judgement on my part. Do you just need to add more description if you do script publishing?

Also, for readability if you are publishing scripts maybe have some space in between pages for readability. (Using your last two as examples)

PAGE 8
Panel 1: Fear plagues the man’s face.
Panel 2: He begins to back away.
Panel 3: A shadow looms over him.
Panel 4: The man is half-turned. Towering over him is a fifth figure, larger than him in size.

PAGE 9
Panel 1: The creature opens it’s mouth, revealing an arsenal of teeth.
Panel 2: It raises it’s clawed hand.
Panel 3: The man’s face as the clawed hand nears his face.
Panel 4: The rest of the page is black, and all we hear is the man’s agonizing scream.
Man (off image): AAAAHHHH!

If you are familiar with film scripts perhaps adding the "camera" views like 3/4 views and adding the INT vs EXT (interior vs exterior setting) for the artist to follow what you're trying to do.

[Kuma]

I recommend certain things

Scene 1 - (Location) - (Time of Day)

Page 1
Panel 1 - (Insert angle/shot) - (Insert intended size, I use percentages)

For example on Page 2

Scene 1 - Seattle - Night

Page 2

Panel 1 - Panoramic Shot - 40% of the page

Heavy rain over the city skyline. (You could go into more detail if you want to generate an emotional response.)

FX: Heavy Rain

Panel 2 - Close up Shot - 20% of the page

The neon sign for the Harpoon Bar & Grill flickers under the rain.

FX Flickering neon sign

Panel 3 - Full Shot - 40% of the page

From a street POV we see the facade of the bar and the alley beside it. There is a huge commotion coming from with the bar. Shapes in the windows.

FX: Voices coming from the inside, muffled by the walls and the rain

[kwestlake99]

Thanks for the advice. I'll try doing that formatting in the future. It'll be hard to do it atm with 200+ pages already written, lol

[Kuma]

Yeah, that's going to be kind of difficult, but you can do it!

[diamondactor]

I get that feeling. I wrote my entire story (lots of books of it) then realized "Oh Sh*t, I forgot to divide up the pages into panels!" Take a breath and make a good cup of coffee. You got this.

[kwestlake99]

I don't generally publish my scripts. I've been writing my work like this because it's worked best for me till this point.

[diamondactor]

You have to get the words out on paper or the story will never get done. You did the right thing by just writing it all out however was easiest. There is always time to edit afterwards.

[kwestlake99]

That's always the most important part. Gonna try the formatting Kuma suggested. Does look/feel more authentic that way.

[Kuma]

I used it for the comic I wrote for Dynamite Entertainment.

[kwestlake99]

I like the showing how much percentage of page a panel takes up. Explaining the different kinds of shots and angles sounds a little difficult.

[kwestlake99]

Or perhaps not. I'll give it a try and see how it feels for me.

[Kuma]

The angles and shots are important. They can give a different meaning to the same image.

A low angle at a character can make them look more menacing or imposing.

A long shot with a high angle to the same character can make him look isolated and small.

Filming 101: Types of Camera Shots and Angles

[kwestlake99]

Apart from the formatting, what did you think about the material, content and atmosphere wise?

[system]

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