Jul 2017
7 / 9
Jul 2017
Jul 2017
DeformedSunflower
Jul '17

Sooo here is my first series

And I'm not really sure about how it came out. So please leave a comment below to tell me your thoughts on it!

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    Jul '17

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    Jul '17
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darkdeadendstudios
Jul '17

Well, first off your not an idiot (the title of the thread I mean) second read your comic, art style looks interesting but the story got me slightly confused, like for instance why does the main character hate everything and what did that boy do to her for her to hate him so much?
these are the points that should be addressed either at the beginning or near it other then that so far it does look good.

also I have subscribed to it as well..

SleepingPoppy
Jul '17

Interesting! You're doing fine, so honestly, just keep going.

One thing you should change is your comment in your description. When you copy paste "subscribe and find me here!" you're making yourself and your comic less personable! If people are interested, they'll sub ((this isn't youtube, where people need to be reminded, it's intuitive)). Use the description to say something you feel about the page, either in content, or the process of making it.

I don't mind the link to your DA as much, but rather than putting it in every update, think about just included it occasionally. "Oh hey, don't forget you guys can see more of my art here! -link-"

When you include the same information every post, readers will just start to tune it out. So by using it sparingly, you'll get a bigger burst of attention each time. It's the same with reminding people to tip or visit your patreon.

sarrowsmith10
Jul '17
darkdeadendstudios

Yes, I agree with this point.

Also, just a technical detail: having the color of your text gray, was really hard for me to read on my computer screen. If you don't like the harshness of black text, you could still go for a darker gray and it would be okay, it was just really hard on my eyes.

Try not to put yourself down for your work. You want people to read your work because the art and story is good, not because they pity you. Keep at it. :slight_smile:

DeformedSunflower
Jul '17
sarrowsmith10

Thank you for your feedback! I actually chose the colour grey to complement the colour of the shading I used. I had no idea that you would have difficulty in reading it. I will keep that in mind!

DeformedSunflower
Jul '17
SleepingPoppy

Thank you for your feedback! This was my first time actually asking the readers to go to my blog, so I had no idea what to do. I will keep your feedback in mind.

JessJackdaw
Jul '17
1

I second the motion to change the text to a darker shade. It would make it easier on the eyes.

I'm not all too well versed on Tsundere comics, but while I understand the comic's character is supposed to hate many things (since it is the comic's namesake), it might make it hard for the audience to connect with them. If a character never makes an effort to express other emotions and is only defined by hating specific things, why would the reader root for this character?

It's still early in your comic, so I don't want to jump to conclusions. I would just try to flesh out the personalities of your characters a bit more.

Luminosophy
Jul '17

I agree with this a lot. I find manga (at the professional level, which influences aspiring authors) has this problem across the board in all genres where they do this sort of "character preaching" thing. In action/ shounen types the MC will spend the first few pages ranting about love and friendship and how the bad guy is a douche while fighting him. In slice of life/ romances, the character will be one dimensionally defined by this one characteristic that few people in real life have and/ or can relate to on a surface level. Sometimes that characteristic is nothing more than just being exceptionally beautiful.

I liken the reading experience to walking down a street and suddenly a preacher comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at you. You're reading from a completely blank canvas, you don't know the character and you have no reason to care about them yet. Despite this all we ever get introduced to is either negative traits or really strong opinions of the character sans any reasoning (reader witnessed life experience) for them. I usually stop reading these by the third/ fourth page. I just want to caution authors about this trope because it can be really off putting.