Dec 2014
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Jan 2015
Jan 2017
Cielle
Jan '15

hello @keii4ii !

here is my feedback for Heart of Keol:
It's hard for me to find anything to critique with your work. I am always blown away by your beautiful use of color and light, as well as your unique style of page design (gutters, speech bubbles, the whole thing). If I had to nitpick, I would say that sometimes it is a little unclear how much Ethan understands Korean/Keol-Korean, since it seems he understands more (grammar-wise) than he uses himself, but I have a feeling that it will be explained as the story continues. Also, if I'm not mistaken, he didn't spend that long with his uncle, where he learned Korean (?). But like I said, this is just the smallest of nit-picky critiques. Honestly, I really love Heart of Keol. There is a really appealing, mystical quality to it that is very enjoyable. I can't wait to read more of it. The characters are all very interesting and fleshed out; everyone seems like they have a complex past instead of just vague characters dropped into the middle of a story. No one is "just" a side character; They are all the main character of their own stories, if that makes sense.

Anyway, here is my comic: Reus3

skatuya
Jan '15

Hi @Cielle!
I read through your comic, and I've got to say you've got some interesting ideas there! I really appreciated and liked that you draw backgrounds and added details, things, that many creators leave out. I think you're headed in the right direction with creating certain atmospheres in your scenes.
As for constructive criticism, the biggest issue with your comic for me is the lettering. Right out of the bat, the font you used in the beginning is hard to read (especially on black background) and I'd advise you to avoid serif fonts. (That may be just a personal preference for me, or the 3 years they tried to convince me at college, but serif fonts are generally only used by novels - and mostly old ones. It makes some people look at the font and expect something boring, because they see that in textbooks and such). Also, I'd advise not to use more than 3 fonts (for example one for the titles, one for the speech bubbles and one for effects. And even then, stay consistent - use it only in capital - except for script fonts - or non capital) And sometimes the text is too small. Since tapastic is trying to emphasize on the "mobile readability" of comics, it'd be wise not to use fonts smaller than 6pt. As for the art, it's not perfect but I see a style developing there, and practice makes everything perfect! : )
I hope I could provide some advice or maybe help. I wish you good luck with your comic! : )

And my comic is Vicious Circle4. Tear me apart, I love to hear constructive criticism. : )

jaceebo
Jan '15

Hey @skatuya

Right off the bat, I gotta say, the art style is amazing. It's really well defined and it just screams "you". I think you've got a pretty good idea of what kind of atmosphere your art creates and if you keep sticking with it, I'm sure glory will find its way to you. Tone setting I would say is probably one of your strongest suits so use that to your advantage.

The comic itself is still relatively short so there weren't many things I could pick up on. However, if there is one thing you might wanna work on, it might be character positioning. I think you've got a good idea of how you want your characters to look, but the thing is, they look a little bit stiff. You know how in malls, all the clothing stores have mannequins out front posing and stuff? It's kinda like that, they go for a natural kinda pose, but it always ends up looking a bit forced. I honestly don't know how to word this well but I hope you understand what I mean. As lame as this may sound, you could always pose in front of a mirror and use that as a reference haha. Because what's more natural looking than an actual person, right?

http://tapastic.com/series/Dreams-and-Introspection4
Ravage me with all you got. I can handle it. Probably.

skatuya
Jan '15
2

Thank you! I'm aware of this problem, and trying to work on it. I always feel the poses look more natural on the sketches but end up loosing all that in the process somehow. =_= But I'll work it out. Thank you for your comment! : )

UltHamBro
Jan '15
jaceebo

Hullo @jaceebo!
The first thing I'd like to say is that I'm a fan of absurd and/or ironic humor, and so far, your comic seems full of it, which is cool. I can't really say much about the plot, since the last episode destroys it completely. I first thought that introducing the characters that way in the first couple of pages was a bit lame, but it became funny once you read the last episode. I also like the handmade lettering.

About criticism, there isn't much to criticise since there aren't many pages yet. However, I think that you should stick to an art style. A few of the designs, like Theo, Pablo, the turtle and Tyrone, look good, and they fit within the general chaotic, kind of nonsensical look of the comic. However, the others look incredibly inconsistent. Even if you prefer to stick to the simpler style of your last episode, it'll be better than alternating between styles. The only other things I'd suggest would be getting rid of the pixelated font in the future (handmade is cool enough) and using a brush with a fixed opacity. Seeing the lines end fuzzy doesn't look good.

I think this is pretty much all I have to say about it. Keep on with it: it looks like you've got some original ideas! wink

My comic's http://tapastic.com/series/Hearts2
I'm updating today btw.

LeRenardRoux
Feb '15
UltHamBro

Hi @UltHamBro !
You don't have too many pages, so I scrolled through all of them. I like the blue tones you've added in the most recent pages. I could see you swapping the accent color to reds or yellows for more intense sequences, but regardless I think it adds read depth to your B&W line art. I also really like the grandpa. I've learned a few board/card games from my grandpa, but it was not nearly this intense. But I guess the stakes weren't that high either. >.> But yeah, I like his character design, he's really distinctive and funny. I'm also curious, is cheating allowed/encouraged as long as you're not caught?

For constructive criticism, the story itself isn't really reaching out and grabbing me. Between the fact that I'm not too familiar with any of the games being played and perhaps something of a language barrier (kudos on writing a comic in two languages! I certainly couldn't do that!) it's hard for me to entirely follow what's going on. I think making sure your facial expressions are strong and informative as well as including more other visual cues would help immensely. I hope that helps some! :3

My comic is The Wolf at Weston Court.1 The style has changed a lot since the early pages, so the most recent pages are probably the best to comment about!

magmi
Feb '15

Hello, @LeRenardRoux : )

I read your comic (well only first pages, but I'll come back to it once I have more time) and I can say that it's quite interesting. Writing is solid and characters are pretty well written ( great dialogues, btw ) : ) Also, I can see that you improved your art a lot. I would recommend to redraw the first pages (first impressions are really important). Also, I'm pretty confused about the world you created (but that's probably because of reading only first pages), I mean it would be good to describe it a little (races that live there, possible ruler etc etc).
Overall I enjoyed it, and I'm going to read more later ^^

Here's mine: Dragnarok

MechanicalPenguin
Feb '15

Hello, @magmi!

Wow, I took the time to read through each episode! Your art is beautiful. The compliment I will give is on how you use lighting to set up scenes and make great atmosphere within the reader's mind. I might be reading too much into it, but I definitely get a feeling from each scene based on the colors you use. Especially pages 25 and 26 with the cold-blue hue.

As for critique, the only thing that really stood out to me was the speech bubbles. You seem to put so much effort into the art and scene, but the speech bubbles just look bright, pre-made, and obnoxious. They don't seem to fit. Maybe if you painted the speech bubbles as well? This is going to have me thinking about speech bubbles within my own comics now...

Thank you for sharing your comic! I've subscribed and can't wait for updates!

@Paperface, I'll mention your comic as well.
I like that you take the time to color your comic! I think more comics should be full-color because it makes understanding the images a lot easier. And understanding the images is what separates comics from just reading.

Hmm, as for critique, I did notice something when reading page 2. The top panels confused me a little bit when it comes to order. I ended up reading it as "Out of my way little man." then right to the panel where he says "Who am I you ask?".
It took me a moment to realize the two panels on the right were in between those two.

I hope you both are happy with my responses.
My comic is http://tapastic.com/series/NIK1
It's long, and I've changed the style a lot since the beginning... Focusing on the newer pages would be a good idea.

Thank you!

Cielle
Feb '15
1
skatuya

thanks for your feedback @skatuya! I will try to fix the lettering, or at the very least try to make it more legible from here on out ^.^

and Hello, @MechanicalPenguin! I read through your story, and it's really intriguing! I like the story a lot; it seems like it's headed in a cool direction. I like your use of animation; it's very unique and eye-catching. I especially liked the animation of the "pets" transforming from humans (? I think they're human? human-shaped) into animals. Overall, I think you're going in a good direction.

for constructive feedback, my biggest suggestion is the speech bubbles. Sometimes (not always) it was a little confusing to figure out what order they were supposed to be read in. It seems like the clarity has increased in some of the more recent pages, so perhaps it is a moot point. My other suggestion has to do with the animations. I really like them and they add a lot to the story, but sometimes they go too quickly and it's hard to figure out what has happened (for example, the scene where Kiev attacks Nikolai. I had a hard time with that one...it might just be me, though).

Overall, your comic is really cool and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You have improved over time, and I think NIK is headed in a wonderful direction. I look forward to reading more!

My comic is Reus2. There's only a few pages up at this point, but more pages are on the way soon! I would appreciate any feedback ^.^

UltHamBro
Feb '15
LeRenardRoux

Thank you very much! The blue tones idea has proved successful, and I do plan of swapping it in the future if the mood of the scene varies. I'm also proud of the character of how Grandpa has turned out. Regarding cheating: yes, it's expected, allowed, encouraged and completely normal. The bad part is when you're a bad cheater and get caught smiley

After reading the criticism, I've gone back to my script and rewritten a few lines in future pages so the story is easier to understand (for example, the cheating part is a plot point which wasn't really clear in the first version: it'll be clearer thanks to you wink). Don't worry about the games: part of the original idea was to include games that few people know.

I have to work on the translation though. I decided to make the comic bilingual once I had the entire script in Spanish, and I've rewritten a few lines for the English version. However, the Spanish version is a lot more colloquial, and I find it hard to convey the same feeling to the English one.

Long story short, thank you very much for your criticism!

stormwhiskers
Feb '15
Cielle

Hi @Cielle

I like your prologue! It looks like you've set this up to be a pretty awesome epic and I really like that your main character at the moment is an older woman. We definitely don't see enough of that!

What you're doing well: I like that you're varying your shots and not avoiding backgrounds. It really allows you to set your scenes and the mood for each page well.

What you could improve on: Since someone has already commented on your lettering, I'll focus on the speech bubbles themselves. Sometimes your lettering bumps up against the edge of the bubbles which makes it harder to read. The tails of your speech and thought bubbles also don't always originate from the mouths or heads of the speakers, which makes conversations harder to follow. This infographic might help you http://beyondthebunker.com/2012/06/10/10-mistakes-made-by-amateur-letterers/2

Overall though, it looks like a solid start to your comic. Great job!

My comic is Teacup Tales2

keii4ii
Feb '15
1

Tapastic is refusing to let me post this. Hoping it'll go through this time frowning

I'm impressed by the variety of art styles AND story types present in your comic, @stormwhiskers. So far, every story has looked and felt totally different from each other, and it's mind-boggling to imagine what you might bring to the table with the next episode. Meetings is probably the closest thing to the "standard" fare (whatever it is); then there's The Boy, B&W with clean yet stark lines plus just the right amount of one other color. The Old Tree is probably my favorite so far in terms of art style. Each style is executed well and fits the story very well.

One thing that I think could be improved is the structure of each story. None of the three stories so far feel complete (perhaps with the exception of The Boy), and not because they're short. It's because they don't follow the dramatic structure of a narrative. Meetings, for instance, has a wonderful beginning and buildup. When the merman noticed the shadow and decided to check out the seal, it made me excited for what might happen when they meet. Then it just ended? I was expecting a climax and a denouement to follow, but that didn't happen.

Of course, not every story has to follow conventions (such as the narrative structure) down to the T, and maybe it's not your goal to create short stories that feel complete. But even if you want to make more open-ended shorts, providing a clearer climax with each story at least would make them more powerful IMO.

Hope that helps!

For the next person: my comic is Heart of Keol. Feel free to point out more than one flaw if you must, haha! XD

magmi
Feb '15

@MechanicalPenguin

Thank you for feedback smile Now I noticed that they really don't fit. I changed them on the latest page

@keii4ii
Okay, I hope it won't be too short but here it is: I absolutely love your artwork. Beautiful coloring, backgrounds, aaaahhh, gorgeous! Story is pretty interesting, and engaging. Not too much text/dialogue on pages, which is really good. I often get bored when it's too much to read, heheh.
I wanted to find something for you to improve, but it's really hard, haha. I guess the only thing that I was disturbed by was the main character double chin, but it's probably just me xD
Subscribed and gonna read more!

Here's mine: Dragnarok1

Icelug
Feb '15

@Magmi

What can I say about Dragnarok? I love dragons, I have two dragon tatoos and I was born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.
I loved everything, Every single page is full of life. I specially love the colors. Page 17 is my favourite, I can almost feel the cold of the mountains and the warmth of the fire.
The design of the dragons is perfect, and the whole prologue is very well set . Seems this is going to lead to some epicness.
With only 30 pages there's not much to say about the main story or the characters. Aside from their names and telling who is good and who is bad, there's still much to be shown to us.
Sorry to say that, but I can't give any constructive suggestions as it's already perfect the way it is. Keep the great job, I'll definetly keep watching.

Question: Does the name Dragnarok has something to do with Dragons + Ragnarok?

And here goes mine: Mnemosine1

rollo75
Feb '15

@Icelug

In Greek mythology, Mnemosyne was the daughter of Uranus and Gaia and was the mother of the nine muses - she was the personification of memory.
So as I read this, I'm expecting a story which lives in the realm of memory and/or dreams.
It does what it says on the tin!

As far as tempo, spacing; timing goes, this story works well. The opening Chapter builds a nice premise for the story and the world is sufficiently build so that it's fit together nicely. It's even got clutter in it, which makes it more believable.
Really, I think that this is print quality and it would not look out of place in a bookstore at all. It's complete in its execution.

About the only flaw I can find is that some of the chapters are a wee bit short. Apart from that - it's brill'

And Now... Hack it to bits - I'm as hard as nails.

This Is Douglas:
http://tapastic.com/series/ThisIsDouglas4

27 days later
EbonyKaze
Mar '15

I don't feel I'm qualified to give a critique,but I can tell you what I think as someone who enjoyed it!

I like the Ink work a lot,It really defines the backgrounds which are detailed and elaborate.The characters personalities are well portrayed,there relatable and funny.I also like the continuity between stories,like Gary's relationship and the cat food company.

The little things I found troubling,however,were sometimes it was hard to understand some of the panels,mainly during the soccer matches and when they entered the closet,without looking it over various times,and although the dialog gives a good feel of the characters,the panel placement kinda makes it feel like too much to take in,I felt It kind of outstretched the last chapter a little.

Other than that,great comic! It was a lot of fun to read!:)

Here's my comic:The Jade Heart2
Any feedback would be apreciated.