8 / 63
Dec 2014

I like how you draw your fur. It looks really cool and the coloring is beautiful. the way you draw your eyes is amazing as well. Great job.

I dont have any other suggestions other than the font. I think your font should match your comic. personally i think the font is kind of over done.

My Comic is An Un-Pho-Gettable Life6 I look forward to hearing other feed back smile

It's a very charming comic, the art style lends itself to it very well, it's very clear on what it wants to be and at no point left me confused as to what the punchline was, which in a gag comic is essential.

I'd say sometimes you deliver the punch line and then you have another panel after that that usually feels unneccessary sometimes as in this example : http://tapastic.com/episode/637245 the last 2 frames could often be switched around for a bigger punch.

I draw Grapple Seed4, tell me about it stud.

The first thing that strikes me about Grapple Seed is your use of color, and the stylized character designs. I find coloring challenging, so I totally respect artists that can color effectively. It looks like you use a limited color palate on each page and change up the color scheme from scene to scene, which is brilliant. I also like the effective use of two tone shading on the characters and rim lighting. And your art style lend nicely to great energetic character poses.

It's kind of hard for me to come up with a constructive comment, because I honestly really love Grapple Seed so far. Maybe releasing more pages a week would be one, though I can understand that not being possible. Maybe another thing you could try is playing with your line weights a bit. It looks like on most of your pages you keep a pretty consistent line weight with each character (kinda animation style art). You could try varying it up a bit by thinning out lines closest to the light source and thickening them the farther away from the light. This helps in adding some depth to your characters as well as it can provide a nice stylized look. A lot of caricature artist use this technique. Or look up Al Hirschfeld, and his amazing use of lines and the fun that can be had by them (I think you'll get a kick out of that artist).

I'm the co-creator of Oops Comic Adventure5, what's your thoughts on that.

My favorite thing about your comic is cohesiveness, both art- and writing-wise. A lot of people (myself included) have fairly noticeable strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes the difference between the two sticks out like a sore thumb: a poorly drawn car in an otherwise well drawn comic, for example, or a poorly written tween character among an otherwise well-written cast of mostly adults. Yours isn't like that. It's dramatic when it needs to be, without that jarring effect of "wait, what happened to the lighthearted comic I've been reading?"

My only complaint is fairly minor. Some of the subtle things you mention in the comments are completely unnoticeable (to me) in the comic itself. The kindly librarian2, for example. The way you composed the two panels, it makes it unclear as to whether he even noticed Oops and Plague. I thought he was too absorbed in the scroll in his hands and didn't notice them. His closed eyes in the last panel reinforces that impression. The example I brought up is pretty unimportant, but it does make me wonder if your visual storytelling in the important scenes could also be improved if you paid more attention to possible, unwanted alternate interpretations.

Since I've received a critique without giving one, the next poster can choose to comment on any of the other people's comics linked in this thread so far. smile Whichever you feel like doing!
(Note: this is not a rule. Feel free to keep coming back to this thread to get more feedback on your comic, as long as you post a critique each time! I'm just doing this because I got mine critiqued without critiquing anyone else's.)

Hey!

The artwork is solid, very defined lots of detail. Interesting story too I ended up reading the whole lot! You can really feel for the characters and befriend them in a sense which speaks good of the writing.

My main critique would be composition and lighting (since lighting can add to composition). Its fine as it is and works well but to make it a more dynamic read or put more punch into your fight/action scenes such as screams can be elongated, in a different colour, no words ballon just for an example. and as for lighting, a few panel were a touch dark so a little hard to read, some underlighting or reflective lighting adds more definition back in those cases.

Its a great start, cool story and great art. interested to see how it develops!

And I'm the creator of Silversong7

Hey there Elixia! C:

Picking favorite things about Silversong is difficult. Between your fluid panels, fantastic range and use of colors, and character expressions, I am having a hard time picking a favorite. I think the one that speaks to me the most is the colors. You use a massive range to create a very whimsical, magical environment that I feel is very telling of the world you've created, and of the story to come.

During the past ten minutes of scrutiny, I haven't been able to find anything of substance that you should be working on... if I start getting overly critical, I could say that in some tiny background objects, the foreshortening or perspective doesnt add up COMPLETELY, but it's so insanely minute that I may have just made it up to find something to help you with. Stop being perfect already, Gosh.

I'm currently working on Tempest Red7

Hello MoonSquid!

My favourite part of your comic has to be your use of colors! I've always loved watercolor but I lack the patience for it, so watercolor comics earn a lot of respect from me. Your color palettes are also really fitting for each scene's atmosphere which is great :') there's not much story for me to have an opinion about it, but it looks interesting so far.

My only critique right now would be with your speech bubbles; I appreciate that they're not white so the contrast isn't so big, but that and the font you used make the speech bubbles way too different from the rest of the comic so they don't fit much.

My webcomic is Postcards in Braille6 c:

Hi Kurisquare!
I love Postcards in Braille. It reminds me of the old newspaper comics in a way, Foxtrot in particular. The thing I admire most is how seamlessly the comic flows. An entire story can take place in six panels, or be stretched out over several comics. By the end of my archive binge, I was deeply invested in all the characters. (except Omicron. I'm starting a petition for more Omicron screentime.)

I'm a little unclear on how the fantasy/sci-fi element ties into this comic. Is Postcards in Braille a spinoff of an existing comic universe?

My comic is A God Am I Not6

Amnesia stories are tricky to pull off because they've been done to death, but by taking a more laid back approach, I think you're successfully staying away from the 'omgggg WHO AM I mental BSOD' trope. From the very first page (love that star in the GLOMP!, hehe), it's evident that you're not taking THAT route. Good pacing so far; each page begins and ends at JUST the right moment. It's almost like every page has a punchline, except they're not really punchlines since they're not jokes.

There's a bit of the talking head syndrome, which is worsened by the fact that a lot of the panels have the same angle. I think you will automatically begin to fix this problem when you get more comfortable at drawing anatomy and perspective, so I'd strongly recommend practicing those. Even though you're not going for a realistic style or anything, the fundamental skills will help you greatly no matter what style you choose.

PS. Not really a critique/praise but a question, what color(s) are their eyes? :3
PPS. Looking forward to finding out the meaning behind the title of your comic!

My comic is Heart of Keol6.

Hey Keiiii. You know very well I love your comic. Your use of color is wonderful and you have lovely composition within your panels. The flow keeps me interested and I'm excited to see what's next.

As for my critique, it is more of a nitpick, but sometimes the anatomy seems a little stiff in areas? Or a little off [what stands out to me the most is in the most recent page the character looks like a dwarf compared to the other instead of their respected height?]. Though you mentioned once some of it is old art? So, that could very well be it. ^^

and um my comic is Ark.9

20 days later

Hey Marchen!

I'll start with saying that your character design is super cool. You have a great understanding of lighting and how to use color in it. I like the thin line work you use and your characters expressions, you make them intriguing and believable.
The story is as intriguing and dark as well, it's a bit of a twist on the "chosen one" making him Death.

I would have to say that the first several pages had me a bit disoriented. The pacing was a bit odd. I learned that with panels and settings you have to treat it like a camera lens. If you lead the audience around that quickly without establishing anything it causes them to become disoriented, unless that's what you want. To break it down in two points
•Taking time to establish your environment and world with a slower pace.
• Consistency of artwork cleanliness, linework, and characters but that comes with taking more time and practice.

My comic is In and Out the Box4

I know its like totally perfect but you can do your best to critique it //sarcasm//

It's been a while since I read a good slice of life comic, much less a funny animal one. By going the autobio route you pretty much guarantee that you'll never run out of content. Speaking from experience, though, it's important to always get permission from others to use their name/quotes in your comic, or else someone could end up hurt.

As an episodic series, each strip is so different that it deserves its own analysis. However, one thing I noticed throughout the entire series is excellent use of beat panels and reaction shots. Noticeable in "Not like that", "Beachin", and "Sister Senses", it really gives the comic a great sense of timing.

A bit of critique: in some of your early comics, it is difficult to remember who some of the characters are and what their relation to the main character is. Seems to have fixed itself for now, but remember to explain a new character if you introduce one.

My comic is A God Am I Not2

Okay, time for the quickie critique of A God Am I Not.

I'm going to do this in reverse order, mostly because that's how I like to receive things (bad, then good).

So what do I see that you could work on? I only really have a couple of things to mention here. One, though you don't always use mid-shots, they do tend to be pretty static when you do. It seems like they're the same shot. My advice here is to occasionally change up the angles, maybe have we the readers sometimes looking over a characters shoulder or something. The only other criticism, and this is very minor, is that your gutters could use a bit more thickness.

Well, that was the bad, and here's the good. For one thing, you've managed a very tricky feat, and that is to make the readers care about a character who is a literal blank slate. The amnesia hook is hard to pull, but if you can avoid a lot of the pitfalls, it can be awesome. Another really good point is that your plot is really intriguing, making me want to read more (which is always the trick for a serial comic).

All in all, well done, though you can use some polish.

My comic is Autumn Bay4.

Alright, let's get down to business! to defeat the huns

The Negative: So, it kind of seems like you've got a small case of "same-face syndrome". And by that I mean all the characters seem to be holding the same expression. They don't have to be drastic changes in expression, but after so many panels with characters who don't have a change in expression they start to seem a little dead.

The Positive: The character design itself is fabulous! Each character has their own unique design and it makes the cast seem really diverse(and it's easier for readers to tell the difference between each character). I hate watching or reading anything where the cast looks too similar to each other. It confuses me. So great job on that! Also, I really like how you draw hair.

Blerp... And I guess here's my comic: Destiny Awaits6

Hi @rainbowolfe!

So feedback: I like the animated panels you put in to the comic... gives it a really nice touch! It's hard to give any constructive feedback on the story though, since I think you haven't really gotten that far on it yet, but the humor in some of the panels (like I think that one spirit is flipping off an angel in the prologue?) is great. As for the art, I think you have a nice iconic style, though I would suggest cleaning up the lines a bit (especially in that 1 large animated panel (of the character's thoughts?)... some white squiggly appears outside of the thought bubble). Anyways, I hope you continue and we get to see more of the plot!

My comic: White Angel6

White Angel Critique

From the first page, it's clear that you're not taking any shortcuts with the story. A mystery is one of the best ways to grab a reader's attention, and I honestly want to know more about this world full of angles and demons. The more you explain about them, the better.

The dialog for the brother and sister is spot on. All your conversations in general sound authentic, as if there were real people talking. I especially like the attention to detail, such as bringing a fallen angel to a church instead of a hospital.

One place your art really shines is your action sequences. On pages 11-12, every hit has a feeling of impact. Even in non-combat scenes, your portray movement remarkably well.

One thing I would suggest you work on is your expressions. Even when demons descend from the sky, the main character's face reads as 'mild concern'.

My comic isA God Am I Not4

26 days later

On the first page I can honestly say that I like the look of the characters in your comic. The story of Rillan trying to get his memory back is very intriging and the cutesy look (I apologize if you don't like that description of cutesy) really appeals to me and it makes me want to further look into your story.

The one piece of feedback that I can give is about font. Some of your panels are very readable and almost a breeze to get through because of the font you chose. Others where the words are more handwritten sort of takes me a while to read or in some cases like Chapter 1 page 7, takes me a while to figure out what's happening while your other pages are easily read. Now I also understand that you referenced using a new tablet so that may be it, and handwritten words are also a part of your comic. I would just tread lightly between pages with heavy handwritten dialogue and mixtures between that and type font.

Just went through your comic! I hadn't read an action comic in ages, so it was pretty refreshing. I loved how, in the first episode, you were utilizing a variety of angles and "camera zoom levels" (i.e. how big a character appears in the image). The shot with the big screen, and then the transition to the next several panels, worked particularly well.

My suggestion would be to clarify the character roles and goals ASAP. Right now, it's very early on, which is a big part of the reason why I'm not sure where the story is going. It all felt okay until the end of the last episode currently available when you suddenly introduced another fighter, seemingly ready to continue the action. "But wait! I haven't even had enough time to get to know the main characters yet!" was my reaction.

Maybe in the next episode, you'll flip my expectations around and give the readers a chance to really get to know the main characters -- not their whole personal history or anything, but what they're trying to do. Stuff like earning the prize money/ showing off their fighting prowess is all good, but give the readers a hook. Why should the readers care more about the brothers getting the money than about any other fighter getting the money? Give them the answer to that question.

Right now, I'd say the biggest hook is what was said in the first episode: that the police are looking for the brothers. They didn't seem like bad people -- sure, they're not exactly the most well-mannered gentlemen, but they weren't going around beating up random innocent people. So if they've broken the law, there's probably an interesting story behind it, a compelling reason why they did it (maybe they were forced, maybe the society/their life shaped them to do it, or maybe the law they broke was total BS). Keep the action going for sure, but without making it action for the sake of action. Don't halt/ slow the story down while the action is going... Use the action to move the story.

As I said, it's still very early on, so maybe you were already planning on doing all that. But at the same time, is it really that early on when you consider how a lot of people are quick to click on that Back button if the first few pages don't catch their interest? Something to think about.

I hope I've made sense! Good luck with your comic smile

PS. Even though I didn't like the introduction of the new character at the end of episode 5 from a storytelling-centric point of view, I really like how different he looks!

Please critique my comic: Heart of Keol2