I've only read into the first chapter for now after quickly breezing through the notes here! Here's my two cents:
- Although I'm not extremely put off by the asian setting so much (I'm an Asian-Aussie!) I can see what the poster above was referring to. I guess this can be tackled through behaviour and more organic dialogue instead? I.e. In chap 1, Noel/Da-eun's name - Irl, this would sound a little odd since most people typically have a preferred name their friends often call them by, and don't normally bring up their native names (or my experience anyway) so the flow is sort of disrupted for me here! And I guess if there's a certain name for the dumpling soup it'd be nice to add that in too, to make it sound more natural (though I think its mostly fine)
- I normally don't see "~" used in novel writing actually! So this sort of broke the flow for me. I think its used moreso used online/texts. But if that's your writing style, that's fine.
- I do think the flow from 'Lucky Charm' does feel more natural to me, and I can tell its where most of the writing comes from. But with the shift of perspective, there are some parts of MC's thoughts vs her actions that do confuse me in the writing, which does break a bit of my immersion. I can tell you're more of a visual thinker, and the writing itself isn't bad at all!
- The trope definitely is there!