Critiquing First Chapters! A hit or a miss?

AanchalBudhiraja 2021-02-25 17:09:50 UTC #14

Got it! Added to the list

AanchalBudhiraja 2021-02-25 17:11:12 UTC #15

Added to the list! Also please check out the chapter A Wish For Death--I think you read the introduction page instead! Thank you

AanchalBudhiraja 2021-02-25 17:11:26 UTC #16

Added to the list! Also please check out the chapter A Wish For Death--I think you read the introduction page instead! Thanks!

AanchalBudhiraja 2021-02-25 17:11:53 UTC #17

Added to the list! Thank you for your critique!

lunagraves714 2021-02-25 20:55:44 UTC #18

I just added a new beginning chapter to my main novel that I would love some feedback on! The forum or a comment is fine, whichever you prefer.

momoikhile 2021-02-25 21:05:21 UTC #19

I would LOVE to get a critque because I just uploaded my new comic yesterday!

Ranty-cat 2021-02-25 22:35:19 UTC #20

You can give the review here or in the comments. It's totally your wish.

denny_b_reese 2021-02-26 01:08:26 UTC #21

I would also love a critique. It's a novel. Feedback in the forum please!

HopefulAttempt 2021-02-26 01:13:48 UTC #22

I would really appreciate this for my novel and to have the feedback in the forum please!

Lemon_Demon 2021-02-26 04:07:24 UTC #23

Here’s mine, has Prologue + 4 chapters as today.
You can give feedback anywhere you want...comments or here, whatever works ^^
Thanks!

AnimeKitty 2021-02-26 04:15:57 UTC #24

Hi, thanks for the opportunity! This is such helpful feedback for the community. Here's the link to my story. I'd love to hear your feedback on my first chapter in the comments. I'll read your first chapter here shortly.

noenoh 2021-02-26 04:22:50 UTC #25

I humbily request a critique oTL be honest please
(I only have 1 chapter so far..)

rajillustration 2021-02-26 04:37:05 UTC #26

Yeah, that would be nice--my chapters are split into small segments, you can decide how much you want to read

Something I didn't put on the comment in your book--mostly because I don't want to leave comments that are criticism where other readers can see it (I left you a comment there though, so you'll get that comment bump), is that it was written really well--it was just really heavy for a first chapter in contrast with the blurb of your book in the first episode which made it seem like a cerebral magic high school teen fantasy. So, as a casual reader taking a peek, I wouldn't have continued because of that whiplash, I went into chapter 1 expecting something much lighter.

Overall though, I think it'll definitely hook the people that are looking for a darker story like that. It has a lot of emotion, it ends on a cliffhanger, it's really readable with good spelling and grammar--all really good things.

And feel free to put your comments about my first chapters here in the thread as a reply to this comment. I don't need a critique inside the book itself.

CytricAcid 2021-02-26 04:58:51 UTC #27

i'd very much enjoy if you could review the first chapter of my comic!!
i'd prefer a review in thread, if possible

AanchalBudhiraja 2021-02-26 09:16:26 UTC #28

@lunagraves714 @momoikhile @Ranty-cat Starting on it! Please don't forget to check out A Wish For Death chapter on Darkly Ever After! Thank you!

AanchalBudhiraja 2021-02-26 11:26:34 UTC #29

Hello! Here's your critique:

That was a total hit! The concept packed punch and it was entertaining. I liked your take of the 'Helen' show and her candid interviewing style. You did a wonderful job with your art and the engaging dialogues! I genuinely enjoyed the whole episode

AanchalBudhiraja 2021-02-26 12:10:34 UTC #30

@lunagraves714 @momoikhile @Ranty-cat done with your critiques

@denny_b_reese @HopefulAttempt starting on yours!

Ranty-cat 2021-02-26 12:27:31 UTC #31

Thanks for the feedback. I just realised that I should be giving more cliffhangers at the end of each chapter. First two episodes seem like modifying will cause me a lot of trouble, but from 3rd chapter I am adding cliffhangers. Thanks again. That was helpful.

HippieGhost 2021-02-26 18:31:24 UTC #32

I looked at your first chapter, and I have to admit the short summary at the beginning very easily got my attention. Granted, I'm always a slut for both ghosts and lesbians, so naturally this has peaked my interest quite a bit. You weaved in a few details that I think really set everything apart from what actual normal school life is like, so I'll be sure to take a close look at your work.

For mine I'll accept feedback either on here or in the comments - whichever you prefer. Mine is a series of short stories with the summaries of each as the first chapter, so you can either base your feedback on that, or on one of the stories themselves.

Thank you so much for this opportunity!

Bokyongyo 2021-02-26 18:33:59 UTC #33

Probably WAY late cause you look like you have a backlog, but if you ever get to it heres my comic,
recently dropped a short gag episode today too in case you want a laugh after chapter 1 read. Would be glad to hear your thoughts