Depression and making comics

[carloswebcomic]

I'm curious to people's experiences of making comics while undergoing depression.
I've found that making comics can be a soul destroying experience which can aggravate depression and increase anxiety levels greatly. However, I also found that not making comics is even worse as the void left behind is filled with very dark things.

Tell me, how has making comics affected your depression? Or has your depression affected the way you make comics?

[sarrowsmith10]

I suffered from depression for almost a year after my first child was born. Combination of no sleep, birth control pills that weren't working they way they were supposed to.. and a car accident that smashed my head. Honestly I didn't feel sad, or even frustrated with making comics, I just felt nothing at all, not motivated, a giant blah. I didn't draw anything. It was like I just walked away and I wasn't an artist any more. I watched a lot of TV and was mostly a zombie. So I'm not sure if my comics affected me, but my depression definitely caused a huge hiatus. After I got my drugs adjusted, everything went back to normal and I started cranking out pages again, like I had never even stopped. Wild really.

[Kura]

It both helps me and destroys me.

Right now it's my reason to keep going, as dumb as it sounds the idea of "I can't die yet, who will finish telling my story." is pretty much what gets me going.

While on the other hand I get upset when I think about the amount of time and work it has taken out of me, only for the story to not be going as fast enough, or because not many people are reading it, or because I'm just beating myself up cause I'm bad at drawing / comics in general and 'why can't I do this better / faster.'

[carloswebcomic]

Right now it's my reason to keep going, as dumb as it sounds the idea of "I can't die yet, who will finish telling my story." is pretty much what gets me going.

While on the other hand I get upset when I think about the amount of time and work it has taken out of me, only for the story to not be going as fast enough, or because not many people are reading it, or because I'm just beating myself up cause I'm bad at drawing / comics in general and 'why can't I do this better / faster.'

That's very interesting, I found that depression was making me work my arse off and I became a pedantic perfectionist.
It made it worse as my reader base started to shrink. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do good work. In fact, I still feel the same way.

[irene_addler]

While my comic can be a big source of frustration and makes me feel worthless, at times, it also gives me something to distract me and to work towards.

[teasidesketches]

For me, I feel like one other difficult thing about having chronic depression and trying to create is the feeling that I could always be doing more, but the depression makes it so that I just... can't do anything at all past a certain point. I know that I'm wasting time spacing out and feeling empty, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to stop. I can try to motivate myself, tell myself it's necessary, that I need to do more to keep up with other people, but it often feels like nothing is enough to build enough momentum to keep moving.

Then it's just a cycle of feeling bad for not accomplishing as much as I know I could without the depression, then trying to dig myself out of that new ditch... rinse and repeat everyday. ^^;

[ZatchZ]

I can't make comics while under depression as if affects my work flow and drives even further into my depression with frustration.
So I wait until I'm fired up and make a junk comic that I might never show. Quality doesn't matter, so f*ck it.

[SleepingPoppy]

When I started my comic, it really helped add some structure into my life. Got plenty of that now, but at the time, I was in a bad state, and I do feel like it helped me get back into a better mental state. =)

Honestly, it might sound hokey, but I find thinking of my comic as "for me first" to be a really helpful state of mind. I still work hard, even have a patreon, but this way of thinking genuinely helps me have less anxiety about it all.

(It's more about anxiety than depression for me, though)

[Akhdas]

I felt the opposite, if i don't draw my body will create the illusion of depression thus forcing myself to draw the comic

[spadesart]

when my depression flares up i have trouble keeping up with updates and end up drawing pages slower and at worse quality. it really sucks. then i get even more depressed because the pages im drawing look like hot garbage and take too long to finish. its usually why i have to take 2-3 week hiatuses on occasion because if i dont stop to reset myself its gonna just fall apart.

[Maps]

I have incredibly bad anxiety (not so much depression) and I usually draw because it helps me escape the thoughts that send me off into a panic attack.
I find that it helps. But, I do sometimes stress out about "deadlines". I haven't given myself a strict one, but I still get anxious when I haven't posted in a long time and it builds up the stress that I try to escape.

Anyway, sometimes finding motivation can be hard.

[amortelito]

Well, my very deep depression resurfaced while I was starting my comic because I have a hard time grieving, I'm on treatment and I try to take everything easy unlike the past occasions). I stopped having a social life (just attent to random hangouts and the movies), I kept my job at a low level of performance and I ran from all life-changing challenges.

This "hiding more" helped me to remain stable and "happy" while I heal my mind. My comic has been my sunshine and safe place. It kept me entertained and busy. I have just felt burned out the last month but later I found out that I needed more serotonin. It is funny that my true fun personality bleeds through depression and I can make my funniest jokes and most colorful work to cope with the sadness. I produce stuff slower but in a way, my work is more significant.

[sadghost]

Is there a difference between depression and frustration?

I feel more frustrated at my low results, than depressed. I'm not a perfectionist, kinda accepted what i do is not a masterpiece, but feel bad when i see my low stats i get. Wich often make me think my stuff sucks compared to others.

Like i can't get more than 1 digit likes/favs in most sites, except webtoons, every other place (tapas, Instagram, deviant art, twitter) i'm a ghost.

[ratique]

Hormonal fluctuation sometimes causes me to fall into a slightly depressive state - I don't think it's real depression but I feel very different from my usual self during that time.

I find concentrating on comics very hard in those moments. Everything sucks. The writing - awful. My art - the worst. A slightly negative comment that usually would cause no more than a shrug, now leaves me questioning my life choices. Why would anyone read this and why do I bother?

The only thing that keeps me going during these times are deadlines and supportive readers.

In other words, I have no idea how people with depression are able to be creative. It's incredibly impressive and I'm unsure I would be able to do the same.

[BobbyjoeX]

doing my comic destracts me from feeling depressed, i know thats hard for some but if i do get sad, i'll do things to motivate me to continue my comic.

sometimes i lose motivation and overflow with emotions due to my stats but i'm reminded of the people who care about my comic and i dont wanna leave them stranded

[tchotchkeco]

While my depression flairs can be bad it’s definitely not the worse mental illness I have that hinders my comic. In fact, I use my comics as a way to help combat my depression. Creating my comic helps lessen the side effects for me by distracting me and proving a positive outlet.

[Kura]

I'd also like to add that depression does NOT make my comics drawings or stories better. I do my best work when I'm not depressed and struggling.

I'm just saying that the need to keep working on it can help with the depression in those moments where I feel like there's nothing to live for, but my content is much better when I'm working on it when I'm not in that mindset.

[carloswebcomic]

Is there a difference between depression and frustration?

Yes, depression is a medical condition whereas frustration is an emotional state.
Depression can certainly lead to frustration though. Those two are besties.

[Shanny8]

Currently having a difficult time right now; been nursing my arms for the past few months and I get really bummed out when I cant work on pages. Looking at my other peers and I want to do stuff/make art but the minute I start scribbling something my arms start to tighten up and hurt again.

[liann]

I always feel like I'm useless and nobody really likes or cares about what I draw. I'm desperate for my mom to like my drawings on facebook when I post but she never does. She doesn't like that anime style I do I guess. So sometimes I feel like I'm never gonna get anywhere with my art. I can't even advertise my comics because I'm too anxious that people will think it's shit or it's bad. I want to show it to my mom but she's super religious and I don't think she'd like that I'm making a comics about angels and demons with non black and white morality.

Other than pure love for the story I made, the only thing that keeps me going is that I want to spite my judgy judgy aunts when I get famous. one day... maybe. LOL. because I know they talk about me being a worthless daughter cuz oH shE's NoT yEt DonE wiTh COlLegE??!! whErE iS hER dEgreE??? cAn yoU stiLl aBoRt a 22 yeAr oLd?

ha! jokes on u aunties, i tried but failed.