So, I have family who goes through depression and I didn't know how it felt until the combination of my grief from losing my first son and then being in Puerto Rico during Hurricane Maria completely pushed me into a Major Depressive Episode.
I find that depression...prevents me from doing anything effectively.
I can't write.
I can't draw.
I barely have enough fucks to go to work which I need to do because I have a solid career and am the breadwinner so if I can't work, then I fuck over the people who depends most on me.
It's..horrible.
It's a whirling violent whirlpool that sends me deeper and deeper to a spiral of panic, freeze, then guilt. Over and over again until all I want to do is just end it.
Then I panic.
Then I freeze.
Then I feel guilt.
Then I feel absolutely the worst thing of all.
Nothing.
I was lucky to get on medication that works with minimal impact on my health and I have happily been on the same dose and medication for two years now. I can focus. I can do my JOB and rock at it. I can draw. I can write! I can be ME again.
Even if it means being medicated until the die, I will do it because I have a lot riding on me and refuse to let Depression take that away.
Essentially, Depression is an enemy that will always be around and must be managed with prejudice. It will never go away, but I ain't gonna let it bring me down either.
...Sorry I really got ranty and emotional there. Just...just saw this topic and had to unleash!