Do you optimize your paragraph breaks for handheld devices?

[RNJayne]

I know it's kind of a "duh" question, but I'm wondering if you novel writers have a golden rule about separating your paragraphs. Case in point: I think the following paragraph from my upcoming episode of Crimson is too long without a line break:

The rhythm of Yoshi’s urgent drums meshed with Kai’s fiery guitar. Taro’s driving bassline supported the song’s groove. Raiden arched his back and did his trademark falsetto on the last note. The crowd went wild. He had them in the palm of his hand. There was no other feeling in the world like it. The orchestra swelled with the cries of the crowd. Raiden stared at them, deliberately meeting their eyes, holding their rapturous expressions in the front of his mind as his mouth opened and the music spilled forth, mellifluous and buoyant, angelic and strong. His face was flushed from the stage lights and the audience’s excitement. Kai’s guitar screeched in the background, but it was a musical sort of screech, one that only the most seasoned and gifted of guitarists could pull off without offending the ears. Raiden pumped his hips in time to each note, turned on from the high of his craft. Joy and adrenaline sizzled from his toes to the top of his head, igniting him with the unique electricity he only felt when on stage—and when he was with Naomi. Though he could not see his love, he knew she was there, beaming in the crowd, calling his name in her sexy contralto, clasping her delicate-boned hands across her full breasts, loving pride written all over her beautiful face.

I think it reads better like this (because it's less stressful for the eyes):

The rhythm of Yoshi’s urgent drums meshed with Kai’s fiery guitar. Taro’s driving bassline supported the song’s groove. Raiden arched his back and did his trademark falsetto on the last note. The crowd went wild. He had them in the palm of his hand. There was no other feeling in the world like it. The orchestra swelled with the cries of the crowd. Raiden stared at them, deliberately meeting their eyes, holding their rapturous expressions in the front of his mind as his mouth opened and the music spilled forth, mellifluous and buoyant, angelic and strong. His face was flushed from the stage lights and the audience’s excitement. Kai’s guitar screeched in the background, but it was a musical sort of screech, one that only the most seasoned and gifted of guitarists could pull off without offending the ears.

Raiden pumped his hips in time to each note, turned on from the high of his craft. Joy and adrenaline sizzled from his toes to the top of his head, igniting him with the unique electricity he only felt when on stage—and when he was with Naomi. Though he could not see his love, he knew she was there, beaming in the crowd, calling his name in her sexy contralto, clasping her delicate-boned hands across her full breasts, loving pride written all over her beautiful face.

Or should I separate it even more? Piece it into three parts for improved readability??? It looks weird to me when I break it into smaller chunks but that's because I'm viewing it from standard-paperback-reader eyes; and I'm currently typing this query on a laptop.

I'm assuming the average Tapas reader uses the mobile application, not the desktop one...thoughts?

[Leyelle]

for me, I've been told my pieces sometimes look too long, but I always separate my paragraphs for artistic reasons, where I think it feels or "sounds" best, euphony-wise. I have a very long paragraph in sticky black that I was suggested to breakup, because it might be hard to read, but the idea of the paragraph was to be a lot of ideas all smearing and running together, so I left it as it was.

I'd suggest you separate your paragraphs based on where in your mind, the thoughts end, because, though we want to think of the readers, your best work is ultimately about expressing your heart, and you can't do that if you worry too much about catering to a platform.

(also if it'll grate on you because it looks weird in your eyes, it's probably a sign to stick to your vision.)

[RNJayne]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I approach things from a trad perspective, meaning I tend to separate my paragraphs as if I'm reading a physical book (and where it makes organic sense to do so), but I know that doesn't always work in the digital world.

So you don't have a rule of thumb then...not like a hard "three lines only, then we separate"? I was wondering if there's a formula people follow. I tend to stick to my gut but it seems like attention spans (mine included) are increasingly short, hence my curiosity about the skinnier paragraphs.

[Leyelle]

I think most of my paragraphs are pretty small, but I have some longer ones, particularly in the first few chapters when I'm describing emotions that are slurred together. (firstly because the MC is numb and drunk, and then in the second because she's in agony and on painkillers at the same time.) So the spacing is kind of inconsistent and chaotic to try to express the flow of the thoughts, rather than...perhaps the flow of the story. It's first person, so the narrative moves at the speed of Alicia's emotions from chapter to chapter. This might be a little weird, but chapters where she's having a panic attack move fast, chapters where she's depressed move slowly. Some chapters are a combination. Some chapters have weird imagery because their dreams, or (as mentioned before) she's on painkillers.

[RNJayne]

Nah, that's not weird. Makes perfect sense!

I tend to make my paragraphs longer when there's a descriptive passage, a flow of emotion, or a glut of action occurring at a rapid pace.

Smaller paragraphs are easier on the eyes, no doubt; however, if a reader if really into the story, they may not mind digesting a bigger chunk of literary flesh...

[Leyelle]

I agree, shorter passages break up the thoughts, so if you want something to feel fast, you can't add too much empty space. it's almost as if the overwhelming block of letters helps to make your readers physically feel how much is going on at the same time in fast or action packed scenes.

[RNJayne]

Right!

When you draft your episodes, do you preview them in mobile, desktop, or both modes?

[Leyelle]

I read over them in my google docs usually and do all the spacing there. when I re-read them in full form, I think it's usually on mobile (realized that the way I format texts is almost impossible to read on mobile, but not on desktop, which is pretty annoying.) I feel like Tapas also changes your formatting sometimes from when you paste in different sections to another. Like sometimes they remove words in bold or italics. All those things can really mess with the story flow and feel.

(again, my story is weird, I've heard two people say it reads a bit like a poem, and I use a lot of itallics and bold letters to add emphasis or help portray the emotions i'm shooting for.)

[Kuma]

I split them apart. It was one of the first pieces of feedback given to me.

[RNJayne]

Yeah, I use Word and then copy + paste...but then I preview in mobile and/or desktop mode. I've noticed in mobile mode the paragraph seem exceptionally long, though in the Word doc they're fine. And yes! Tapas will remove the formatting if you copy and paste in plain mode, or even if you just Ctrl + V, perhaps? It's a bit glitchy, and not optimized for novels/non-comics, that's for sure.

If your style is consistent your readers will get into it, so the italics and/or bolding might work fine for them and not seem "weird."

[RNJayne]

Into how many parts? Do you have an exact formula? For example, how many sentences per paragraph?

[lignorice]

I usually break them if they started to shift focus. This is what I learnt during language course in school, but it was Indonesian Language course and not english, actually. I don't know if this is also the theory for English paragraphs.

I did not differentiate between writing in general and for reading in phone screen. But I do get stressed by very long paragraphs in phone/screen (especially if written not in my native language)

[RNJayne]

The focus-shift scenario can apply...guess it also depends on the editor's style. My editor didn't break my paragraph in the novella version of this story.

I wouldn't normally bifurcate the first paragraph I posted because it's a sequence, but I split for Tapas because of the reason you mentioned (stress for the reader). And maybe I could still cut it up into smaller bites, but my trad mind resists.

[lignorice]

Sometimes we're prone to that. "No, this is still in one sequence. No need to break it." Then it made the paragraphs very long.

I agree that this depends on the author's and editor's style (and what they managed to agree). Rather many sentences, my problem is more likely many phrases in one sentence 🤣 My proofreader keep splitting them into sentences lol

[RNJayne]

I like sentences of all lengths. Depends on how one uses them.

[lignorice]

Agree. It really depends on the scene, situation, but somehow I am prone to create sentences with many phrases (separated by commas). It just flows in my head, then I have to re-read, and break them into two or three sentences.

[RNJayne]

There's a time and a place for those flowing ones, though I agree that using them sparingly is a prudent practice.

[lignorice]

Right. Even when I write like that, I'd get stress if I am reading a novel with many long sentences. Longer sentences means lower readability, and it's not good.

[RNJayne]

It also depends on the reader and the genre, by I see your point.

[GunmetalSkies]

I wouldn't say I write for mobile, but rather what flows best for the work imo. I do think for that particular section you provided breaking it reads better. The two paragraphs work fine as they are, but there is the potential for a third, that I think if you had more of a YA-focused leaning would probably be better given how most of those books tend to be constructed. However, this seems a little more adult, so I can see leaving the two paragraphs as you have them.