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Nov 2023

I have this character Yuki she's suposed to be rude and hot headed so she curses and swears a lot, but I'm afraid of losing of overdoing on the swearing but at the same time it's on charcter for her to swear on every sentence so what do you think?

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    Nov '23
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    Nov '23
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tried that myself, personally it would depend not only on the character, but the situation, if it's a natural thing it should still have room for breathe. You can't have every single sentece have the word fuck without seaming force in it.
Try aiming for the long complex senteces (this excludes the classic "fuck you", "eat shit", etc.). Think about the character Rick Sanchez from Rick and Morty, he curses a lot, but not at every single moment, leaving some "shit" in bewteen his long sentences when he's complaining about something.
I know that you're struggling with natural dialoge, but you're doing great, is all about trial and error.

If that's her characteristic to swear every sentence, then you won't "lose of overdoing on the swearing". That's who she is. If you're worried about the realistic aspect, you shouldn't be surprised to find anyone who revolves around a vulgar lexicon; those people exist.

yeah I tend to overdo with the "fuck" in portuguese my native laguage I can be more creative with the swearing but on english I don't know many words and most of the ones in portuguese will translate to fuck related ones

example:

'I wanna fight him I can feel he's strong as fuck."

"shut the fuck up! I get it I'll wait.'

"fuck it! I wait no more."

'take that fucking idiot!"

I can give you a list:

Click here to see list

Shit, fuck, twat, cunt, asshole, dumbass, dipshit, wanker (british), fucker, motherfucker, bastard, "are you shitting me?", dogshit, bullshit, horseshit, shitling (personal favourite to insult children online), "are you taking the piss?" (same as "are you shitting me?"), pussy... mmh, I thought I knew more.

actually I knew this ones I just coudn't fit them in the context

well, bullshit is for when someone's liying and you know.
dogshit is for when something is of bad quality.
horseshit I understand is for nonsense.
pussy is usually aplied to cowards.
twat asshole cunt dipshit fucker mother fucker bastard are usually used for rude people, or those who have done wrong to you.
Wanker is for a loser but could be used in general.
dumbass is... well, for someone who's being really dumb.
hope this helps.

i decided to keep the strong as fuck because I like the at least one time it's okay I guess

Have you watched Trainspotting or read the book?

That will teach you how to write someone who swears too fucking much.

I don’t mind cursing. Tho I find it really annoying when “fuck” is overused as a filler word. Similar to “like” where it just sounds like they are just saying the word just for the sake of saying it.

Think of the sentence
“Pick up your shit.”

Vs

“Fuck! Pick up your fucking shit.”

The f-word doesn’t really add anything to this sentence. It just feels unnecessary.

If you wanted to be really annoying…
“Like fuck! Like pick up your like fucking shit.”

It does "work" but in my opinion, I would avoid it at all possible. While swearing is apart of regular speech, it can be overdone very quickly. Like Nick said, people tend to use the f-word as filler words, so the sentence tends to lose its power. Aside from the rating issues, it might turn people away.

I don´t think it works, it gets annoying very fast.
I think it would work when you mix it up with rude answers like "whatever..."
I would find it super annoying in real life or in a movie and in a comic it
would be ever more annoying

I think it's hard to write for a text-based medium.
When it's being acted you can get a good delivery out of it; Nostalgia Critic is good at really spitting the F-Bomb out in a way that leaves an impact, but it's hard to convey that without sound.
If it's part of the character's everyday dialogue it can become numbing, but in a good way that fits the tone. Back in Uni I got used to swearing so much that it became part of my vocabulary, and I didn't even notice until I moved back with my parents and kept accidentally swearing in front of them. Watch GTA 5 cutscenes and pay attention to how they use curse words. So it can be done, but it's a fine art.
Used wrong it can come across as edgy and cringy (look up clips of the Baywatch movie or anything else written by Eli Roth).

Personally, I like the "kid-friendly" Marvel approach.
AKA, the tactical F-Bomb.
No cursing throughout the entire thing, then WHAM, F-bomb out of nowhere and it becomes the internet's favourite scene.

What if I censored it like this "@#$%" like you son of a @#$% or mother@#$% or eat@#$% or @#$%hole.

Don't think that will help.
People will still know what your trying to say, so the same vibe will comes across.
Though that's just my take.

Okay she dosen't need to swear all the time.
Maybe she only swears when she's angry

That would be my approach.
Swearing can really punch up the dialogue if delivered at the right time.

but I'd think that that depends on the character though.
sure a sweet little child who yells fuck in a specific moment of tension would

but if it was the classic sailor or someone generally rude, I think it would still work.

True.
His characters this badass space mercenary, so I think they can pull it off.

I try to write dialogue the same way that people talk naturally. If I’m writing a mechanic’s dialogue you’d better believe there are going to be F-bombs (disclaimer: I’m a mechanic by trade). If I’m writing a doctor’s dialogue I will try to class it up a bit.

I’ve actually used this as a plot device. Not a big part of the plot, but a part of it: Daecon, my main character in Finding Daecon’s Way, starts out as a rich, spoiled, arrogant brat with no couth whatsoever. As the story progresses (ie, as he finds his way) he becomes much more sophisticated and talks much more elegantly, though he does have his regressions occasionally. I would say that he’s only human, but really, he isn’t….

I think the more angry she is stronger she curses and if she's just mildy annoyed she will not insult you the same as if she is under extreme rage.
Like in normal mood she will just call you an idiot.
If she's really angry she'll call you a motherfucker.

And theres a hole spectrum of moods represeded by how strogly she swears and insults people when talking to them.

When Yuki was child she was beaten up in a fight wich made her feel really weak every since then she felt like she had to toughen up and she swears as a result, to seem tough.

Yes and no. They can't swear on every sentence, but every page, yes.

Do you have a longer stretch of dialogue involving the character? obvs swearing literally every sentence is unrealistic, but it's hard to gauge if she 'swears too much' through isolated lines from different contexts :sweat_02: