Whoo boy, we got a mess on our hands here, boys.
I don't want to discourage you at all. that's not the point of this thread. I'm here to be harsh, but not to be a dickwad, so I'm probably going to rip you apart pretty hard here but I want you to know that I'm doing so because you are A: going for a more detailed and realistic style, which is significantly less forgiving than something cartoony and simplified, and B: because you clearly want to make something good here, and I believe you can do it, but you're gonna need to put in the work to get it done.
With that said, let's get started.
First and foremost, you opened with the single thing that turns me away from a comic faster than anything else on this platform: The montage narration intro chapter.
This may just be a personal preference thing, since many of the most popular manhwa across multiple platforms do this, but I absolutely despise having to scroll through a massive infodump about the lore and history of your fantasy world.
I get it, alright? you put a lot of time and effort into constructing your fantastical universe and you care a lot about its backstory and magic system and etc. etc., but if you have constructed your story well, then everything in that intro chapter is redundant and doing nothing but wasting my time. I should be able to learn the history and lore and magic system and all of that organically through your plot as I read it.
One of the most common pieces of writing advice you'll get is to avoid dumping exposition on your reader whenever possible. It can't be completely avoided; it needs to happen sometimes, but keep it to as much of a minimum as possible.
One of the other most common pieces of writing advice you'll get is to put your best foot forward; you need to hook your reader and make them invested in what they're reading as fast as possible, so start off with something engaging.
With that in mind, starting your story off with a lengthy exposition dump about fantasy names, places, and history that I know nothing about and have no reason to care about immediately tells me you are putting very little effort into the actual structure of your narrative.
This is not a dig at you, specifically, I see this ALL OVER the place and it drives me up a fuckin' wall.
Now, onto the pages themselves.
you have a very heavy reliance on 3-d models in order to construct your scenes, and I'm here to slap you across the face and tell you this is a horrible idea and you need to stop it.
Using 3-d models is not a death sentence in and of itself, but you are definitely over-relying on it. Looking at the few panels where you actually drew the characters from scratch (yes, it is very obvious where you did and didn't do that), I can tell that you're not nearly experienced enough to be using 3-d models in the way you are. You're going to end up using them as a crutch and never learning how to do solid drawing and construction for yourself.
If you don't know how to construct a scene for yourself, then you're A: going to be stuck relying on something to do it for you, and B: never going to acquire that 'human touch'. Your scenes and poses will look stilted and boring because everything goes exactly where it's supposed to go all the time and there's no exaggeration and no accounting for artistic nuance or style or liberty and it's all going to feel very cold and robotic.
You should be able to do everything in your comic without the aid of 3-d models yourself, and only be using those resources in order to save time, not to make up for your deficiencies.
take this panel, for instance. This panel is meant to be introducing some
bad dudes into the scene. They're entering with trumped up pomp and circumstance, their entrance is dramatic and big and loud and it interrupts
everything else going on in the scene.
You need to make this a big moment, it needs to be bombastic and exaggerated, but because the characters are being drawn over 3-d models, they don't look like they're in motion, they look like what they are: dolls that have been fixed into a specific pose by a computer. That dude on the left should have his face distorted in a crazy-ass yell, his hips should be WAY forward, his leg WAY up, his arms THROWN back. He should not look 100% normal and naturalistic in this scene, and that's what a 3-d model will always give you: 100% normal and naturalistic.
Exaggeration is at the very heart of visual storytelling, be it animation or comics or video games. You need to be able to create a normal-looking human yourself by hand from scratch in order to know WHAT it is you're exaggerating and exactly HOW you're exaggerating it.
Like... I don't know if you used a 3-d model for the king here, but there's so much shit drawn over it that if you did, it's far less apparent. Meanwhile, that guard is very obviously drawn over a 3-d model.
In terms of raw technical accuracy, the guard is better, but I 110% prefer the look of the King here. Even if the art is simplistic and somewhat crude, it has a ton of life and personality that the guard just doesn't.
It doesn't matter if your art is shitty without the 3-d models, those things are only ever going to hold you back and be a crutch. My paramount advice to you is to ditch them in their entirety until you have a solid foundation of drawing for yourself. Even if the pages look like garbage in comparison to what you've already done, the potential for growth is far greater, and it will be much, much better for you in the long run.