My life is a disaster and I'm seriously depressed
-I don't have a job, the only way I make money is through an online transcription and that only pays maybe $150 a week if I work really hard, all day, every day, and quick.
-I have student loans i can't pay off.
-Any job I try to get, whether it's one in my field as an artist or just any job I can find and feasibly apply for, I get turned down, never get a reply, or am told that my application is being "looked at", yet no reply for months and months (which i guess just counts as a rejection).
-My family is POOR. How we still exist without living in a shoe box is baffling to me because we're behind paying literally everything.
-I'm 24 and i still live at home. Ever since I was 17 even when I do make money, I can never save any of it because there's always some kind of debt in my family that has to be paid NOW, so I'm stuck with no job, no money, and no car of my own (my mom, dad, and me all use the same car).
-i have older parents. My dad is 70, my mom is in her mid-60's. My mom is having severe back issues that she can't really go to the doctor for all that much because we have no money, and my dad has way too much going on with him to list here. And yet he still has to drive for Uber to make a little bit of cash so we can eat and tickle our rent payments every month (we're always behind months behind...)
-And then this week happened....not only are me, mom, and dad getting evicted in a few days because we're just too behind on rent, and we currently no place to live and no other family to live with, but also my identity was stolen by some creeps posing as my student loan collectors, they haven't done anything yet other than send me some harassing emails, but I'm sure they'll try something soon. maybe try to file taxes in my name, or get a huge loan? I have no idea...and I just can't even deal with that right now... I closed my bank account, i reported it to my state's attorney, i froze my credit, but my info is still in the hands of some creeps who probably won't be stopped and will do something terrible with it that will screw me over for life.
- the only reason I was able to push by last month and pay some bills was because some people on tumblr donated to my paypal after hearing about my situation, but I just hate begging for money on the internet...I just didn't know what else to do.
-I'm depressed all the time, I honestly just want to die. The only thing that makes me happy is working on my webcomic. I'm not all that popular, i don't have a lot of subs on here or on webtoons so I can't make money with my comic other than the $16 I make a month through my very kind patrons on Patreon.
- Just, I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I try so hard to help myself and to make a better life for myself. I apply for jobs, I try to do other things using my art to make money while I wait for the jobs to reply to my applications, but nothing...things just get worse. Especially this year, I can't even imagine how every month has topped itself with getting worse. I shutter to think what next month will bring...a car accident so that my family has no car at all? Will I get arrested because those creeps who stole my identity did something? Will my computer get a virus so I can't even use it anymore? I don't even know what's left to take from me...other than my life, which, at this point I wish I could just die. My life is nothing but stress and depression and failure at every attempt I make to try and better my situation....
I don't know what else to do anymore...All I have left is my webcomic...I might not be the best artist or storyteller, but I think it's pretty good, I have some loyal readers who like it. I deserve a better life than this...but I don't think I'll ever receive better. I don't have any hope left. I have have no money left. I have nothing left. I try to act happy sometimes, but it really does just feel like an act. I just know i can't be depressed around people all the time cause no one wants that. But I just cry so much every day, I can't sleep, I'm completely shutting down.
Sorry...at this point, I'm just ranting. I apologize if this makes no sense, but I need to vent to someone even a forum of strangers, cause I think tumblr is tired of hearing about my issues....