Ok, it's time to accept the fact that I'm too bad both at drawing and writing to be even parody to comic artist. It has been lasting too long, I should be understand this at this winter, but I'm too slow for such things.
Almost everyone is better than me. But I didn't thought that I'm too bad, but I am. Ok, just another fail in my idiotic life. Why is everything so bad both here and IRL. I'm really curious why? I didn't made bad things to people around me, but bad things and fails happening with me. It's unfair. Yeah, I'm too shy to be noticed, but I'm always trying to be nice (at least I think I am).
Some said it's wrong to be nice, then I'm tried to be rough, it didn't worked. Because I don't have any charismatic traits and when I'm rough I'm not "cool guy", but just a scum. I don't care (it's a lie) anyway, at least it just sometimes fun to be an asshole. But ok, this was about IRL situation.
I'm considering to stop all my "artisting" activities in public, nobody will notice this anyway. I just not decided to how end this. I don't understand why I even tried, it was obvious thing that I'm very bad at drawing (I was drunk as hell at 04:00, that's how it's started) and nobody needs my "art". Prove me wrong, ha (You won't, I'm sure about it for 95%, you won't even try, I'm sure about it for 75%).
And maybe it's just I feel lonely and want attention. Ok, that's true, I'm lonely and want attention. It's weak, of course, to say this in public. But I'm tired to pretend that I'm strong and don't need attention and care, especially when I'm not strong and need that.
And not, I'm not drunk right now, I didn't drink for almost a week. But I probably should.
I don't know why I wrote all this wall of text. I'm sure about for 80% that nobody will even reply to this (because I'm boring and dull person, and so what?). Just like I need this, I don't need (it's a lie, I need).
I will feel sorry for this whining tomorrow, I know. But I wouldn't delete this. I'm tried to hide my emotions. I'm in the internet, nobody from RL wouldn't see this. At least here I can afford myself to be honest.