You know, to be fair, there is one thing she did for me...
So, I never considered myself an attractive person. I mean, my teeth were growing all over the place since childhood andat the age of 23 I started to loose hair. Well, I wore brackets for a year and changed the haircut, but it's not that my complex of inferiority went missing. Non the less, I was playing with the idea of me being somewhat attractive time after time, but quick look through the photos of me from most recent event, would usually made me depressed for no less than three days. Also I was noticing girls on streets or at the bar looking at me sometimes, but I always thought it's just was that something has stuck to my face, or I was making weird expressions while submerged im my thoughts. It sometimes was going to the extend when they were making some passes toward me. But I just thought they're kind of weird or something.
Anyways, at another day I was telling this all to Tatyana (the therapist), and she was like: "Man, what's wrong with you? I mean, have you seen yourself? You're quite allright".
So I thought: "Ok, she's trying to chear me up. It's her job after all" (I'm often getting quiet paranoid, when people saying good things to me). So I left with that though. But soon after I started too look a bit closely to the people, lloking at me at the street, and, yup, they're looking at me exactly in THAT way: mostly younger girls, sometimes, women of older age... sometimes guys. The weirdest was what it were those two girls, kind of my age, but only if you summ up their both ages. So I was passing by, when one of them them saw me and said to her frien: "Look, what a guy". And then they both were literally follwing me with their eyes untill I walked by, so they couldn't see me.
It can look like I'm bragging here right right now, and maybe I am, a little bit, but it all seams so ridiculous to me. I'm literally laughing, thinking of this. I'ts just so weird to me. I'm kind of attractive... what the fuck. I still blame my beard, that finaly looks like something like a beard and my grey hoodie, weraing which I look like a Jesus. I still look, like shit on photos. I'm just not getting it.