Favorite Relationship Dynamics?

[ML_Peregrine]

Hello! I'm new to Tapas (sort of, it's more that I've never been all that active). I'm trying to be a little more active in the community now. I have a few questions that I thought would be interesting and helpful to have answered.

1. What sort of relationship dynamics (doesn't have to be romantic) do you enjoy reading about? Why?
2. What sort of relationship dynamic do you enjoy writing/illustrating? Why?
3. What kinds of relationships do you not enjoy reading about?

I'm a sucker for enemies-to-lovers, both in terms of writing and reading them. It's the essence of my newest novel lol. I also love fluff and people who heal each other and help each other grow. Also, chaotic (found) families are just so fun to watch. The support and love the characters have for one another in the midst of all their conflicting personalities is just so satisfying to read about.

Let me know what you think!

[Scarlet_Cryptid]

Stories that embrace and appreciate the importance of friendship over romance. A male/female duo that isn't romantically involved at all-- they don't even like each other that way, and not because one or both of them is gay or something. They're just tight BFFs, maybe they've known each other forever and think dating each other would be ick-city, but they would absolutely bury a body for each other.

In terms of actual romance... a couple that actually has chemistry together. That has a healthy, believable relationship. Not just a couple that gets shoe-horned together because the author/artist is impatient for them to kiss, but two fallible, believable, interesting people who work well together even when they're not being mushy.

Also a fan of two people who can't stand each other each gradually understanding the other person, and making peace with them, and eventually becoming allies. Not really an 'enemies-to-lovers' situation so much as a 'I completely misjudged you, I'm so sorry' dynamic.

[wekanian]

I am a sucker for tight but bickery (is that a word?) dynamics. Bestfriends like that. Harmless bicker of course.

[Kaydreamer]

I loooooove enemies to lovers as well! It's such a fun trope.

For romantic relationships, a big one for me is that there needs to be laughter. The characters have to like each other, and enjoy the company of each other. They should also admire each other's strengths and convictions. Falling in love is a very vulnerable thing, so seeing characters become very comfortable and open with each other is important as well.

As for friendships, good-natured teasing is important to me when I'm reading and writing them, as are moments of kindness and support. The characters have so feel like they're very natural around each other. If there's a rivalry going on, I try to keep it good-natured unless I have a character development or plot development reason for there to be a sharper conflict. (Preferably both!)

[ML_Peregrine]

Yes! The friendship vs romance problem is a pretty common critique I see. The lack of female-male friendships (as well as healthy female friendships) feels like a reflection of the question of 'can men and women be friends?" and it's pretty obvious where media often falls. Especially when the female-male friendship takes center stage. It seems like authors feel pressured to push them together as lovers despite the fact that they work better as friends. I do think that has changed a bit in recent years, though. Female friendships also tend to run into the problem of two girls liking the same guy and then sabotaging one another despite their friendship. (I just finished watching True Beauty and I'm still salty about the Soo Jin thing, even if she had a reason for acting that way). I just wish there was more modeling of healthy female friendships (and would love for both girls in the friendship to fall in love with the same boy and navigate their feelings in a healthy way).

Ah, I feel like I love enemies-to-lovers for that exact reasons. It's really more like enemies-to-respected rivals-to-reluctant allies-to-acquaintances-to-friends-to-close friends-to-best friends-to-pining idiots-to-lovers-to-old married couple. I just love the slow burn. It's really about forgiveness and redemption and mutual respect/trust as both characters grow as a result of being around each other, not because they wanted each other to change, but because that's the natural course of being around another person for so long.

I went on such a rant, sorry lol.

[ML_Peregrine]

I love bickering! Especially when the characters know each other so well that they're able to bicker without harming one another, like you said.

[ML_Peregrine]

Enemies to lovers is so fun! I love a good amount of teasing in any relationship, just to show how comfortable the characters are around each other (I don't really like it when the teasing is one-sided though, and one person is just always trying to get on the other person's nerves). I also love it when the characters in the relationship (romantic or platonic) have so much faith in the other person's capabilities.

[Scarlet_Cryptid]

and would love for both girls in the friendship to fall in love with the same boy and navigate their feelings in a healthy way

cough cough trio/poly romance cough Sorry, had something in my throat there... ahem.

[ML_Peregrine]

I love poly relationships too, though I haven't read many of them (honestly, True Beauty would work so well a poly relationship. The relationship between Soo Jin, Ju Gyeong, Seo Jun, and Su Ho is full of romantic and platonic chemistry already. It's the perfect solution. Sorry, I binged it all in a week and it's still on my mind.) I definitely want to write a love triangle where it just ends as a poly relationship one day

[Kaydreamer]

Female friendships also tend to run into the problem of two girls liking the same guy and then sabotaging one another despite their friendship. (I just finished watching True Beauty and I'm still salty about the Soo Jin thing, even if she had a reason for acting that way). I just wish there was more modeling of healthy female friendships (and would love for both girls in the friendship to fall in love with the same boy and navigate their feelings in a healthy way).

I had this happen IRL when I was at uni. Both myself and my best friend really liked one dude, who we hung out with as friends. She had originally intended to let me pursue him, since I seemed more passionate about it, but over the semester break they spent more time together (they both lived on campus) and fell for each other.

Having her tell me that when I returned for semester 2 was so hard for her, and horrible for me, but you know what? We dealt with it like adults should deal with it. She pulled me aside, told me, and apologised. I told her there was nothing to apologise for, wished them well, gave her a hug, and went off to the library to have a cry for a bit. Came back an hour later, and we remained best friends all through the remaining years of uni.

Had we been in a TV show, it would have been BETRAYAL, MORTAL ENEMIES NOW. Like, no. I couldn't control how he felt towards her, and why should she turn him down? Because I liked him? No. He didn't feel the same way about me. Not his fault. Not hers. Not mine.

Feelings happen. You need to learn how to deal with them maturely, and I think having more maturely-dealt-with situations like this in media, particularly YA media, is super important. (I'm definitely using it in my more YA-focused series.)

[MasterValkyrie]

1. Two shy lovers. I don't really find a lot of those. The majority of the time it's always one shy one and one outgoing one. Or both of them are outgoing. IDK something about two people quietly expressing their love for one another is intriguing.

2. The siblings that aren't related by blood. I like writing this one a lot because they're more than best friends but less than blood relatives. It's like the perfect middle-ground between "I will sacrifice my life for you" and "If you take my fries again, I will kill you."

3. The tsundere bestfriends. I hate tsunderes with a burning passion. But when you combine that with the childhood best friend, it gets so much worse. Like, you've known this guy for your entire life. Don't get upset now because he found someone willing to express their feelings.

[thedude3445]

Dry sarcastic jerk x openly silly jokester. They get together and they just talk so much

[tn_tart]

Yes to found family!! I don't write it but I absolutely love stories with that trope in it. I also like reading about platonic relationships between different genders and friends-to-lovers.

[oliveoly]

I really like ennemis to lovers as well, and relationships of friendly rivalry in general. I love reading about/watching characters be unnecessary extra and sassy with one another, but not in a hurtful way. I also really like found family dynamics, just reading about characters that really care for one another in general.

[AmysGames]

I'm a sucker for characters who don't outwardly like each other much or at all, maybe they're rivals or even technically enemies, but deep down they really care for each other and would stick up for each other if it came down to it. There's just something so fascinating about that dynamic, haha.

As for relationship dynamics I don't like... it's less about specific dynamics for me and more about how it's written. Like, I enjoy a good unrequited crush, but done badly it can be really annoying or even creepy.

[Quintessa]

Hii there
Welcome to tapas
I love reading about yandere vibes
I love writing where the relationship can be both romantic and they can also know their limits for their PDA(I think?)
I HATE HAREM,it's so sad I'm not a fan of BL or GL [No offense]

Quite a good post, even I never think about something like this
I'm also a sucker for frenemies (romance)

[Scarlet_Cryptid]

Less a relationship and more of a trope/occurrence: I LOVE seeing the character who's been a smug asshole throughout the whole story and gotten away with it finally get their comeuppance-- the more catastrophic and mortifying the better.

[bluejamtoast]

1. I love reading about parenting. Both wholesome and dysfunctional, blood related or surrogate I just find like the bond between a parent like figure and their child (not necessarily and actual 'kid', it includes adult children), super interesting. Why? Prolly cos the closest bond I have with anyone irl is with my parents by a longshot

2. I haven't really explored a lot but the most reoccurring theme in my short stories is family ties and the pursuit of 'success'. Prolly cos of the environment I was raised in

3. Harem. Even love triangle I dislike. I don't care for the competition aspect

[Lady_T_Musings]

Ohh I feel you on quiet a few of those

1. I really enjoy opposites being attracted to one another. Quiet/loud, introvert/extrovert, passionate/neutral enemies to friends/lovers, found family, long-time friends to lovers. The artist that falls in love with their muse and feelings are returned. Folks from very different lifestyles finding common ground and falling for each other. Folks in a relationship already both falling for someone outside their relationship and becoming a thrupple. haha, all that good jazz.

2. Opposites attracting. One person with self-esteem that isn't the highest learning to appreciate themselves more and that they are worthy with the person who has believed this in them all along.

3. Arranged marriage to lovers doesn't;t really tickle my fancy. Neither does a really aggressive/aggy partner with a more calm and docile partner, even though that's an opposite attract one it does nothing for me. Really imbalanced power dynamics too.