Feedback appreciated! New series / newbie writer

TerriPauline 2025-01-09 17:25:25 UTC #1

Hi!

I have read the webnovels/webstories for some time now, and as I am a hobbyist writer, I started my own series: His secret muse... Or Not.
It's a contemporary romance with some familiar tropes and going to have mature and supernatural elements (in future chapters).

I'm merciful to myself and currently post once a week and quite short chapters (800-900 words), currently only two episodes published.

I'd like to have some feedback about the language, sentence flow, or anything else. I'm writing in English for the first time, so I'm not sure how it looks.

inubasket 2025-01-09 18:14:08 UTC #2

I subscribed; this is really good!! I think it's really well-written too, especially for someone writing a story in English for the first time.

Poor Sophie though She has not had a good year. I'm super curious to find out what the supernatural elements are!

ManSha 2025-01-09 19:29:34 UTC #3

Hi! Newbie writer here as well! Will definitely read your work hihi hope you can give feedback on how it was for my new novel below ️️️ thankieeeeee

TerriPauline 2025-01-10 07:05:10 UTC #4

Thanks for your encouraging feedback! It boosts my confidence to continue.

I'm not new to writing fiction per se, been doing that for 15+ years, but using my native language.
I do read English fiction a lot. Mainly high fantasy, sci-fi, and occasionally some classics like Jane Austen (very difficult sometimes).

I have some nice ideas for supernatural elements, and I'm kinda excited, but let's see how it will turn out

TerriPauline 2025-01-10 07:07:35 UTC #5

@ManSha I have subbed to your story and will give you some comments and feedback a bit later.

ManSha 2025-01-10 09:51:32 UTC #6

This means a lot! Thank youuuuu ️️️

TerriPauline 2025-01-10 19:14:12 UTC #7

You writing is very fast-paced, the start is a bang, figuratively and literally

A little more description would not hurt, like about yourself and your thougts (the MC's, that is), and about the friend and other characters. At some point I forgot who Lucien and Damien were. So, maybe use titles occasionally, something like: "The prince (Or Prince Lucien) stood there like a lonely wanderer, and his loyal right-hand man watched me sternly."

I'm looking forward to reading more.