Salutations!

Well I've read through what you've posted so far and I have some feedback for you!

The first thing I'll say is this: Never start your story by having your character describe themselves while looking in the mirror2. It's a cliche that tells your audience you couldn't think of a creative way to introduce him or his story to us, so you went in by rote. Granted I don't think that was your active thought process by any means, but it's an immediate turn-off because I know I have to sit through a paragraph of description to start off with. It IS important to let your audience know who your character is, but that can come at a more appropriate moment. That description is not a good hook to start your story with. You have an interesting idea in that the main character has white in his hair at a young age, but that's something you can use in a different place to make it really punch. For example: your character is bullied, maybe have someone make a crack about his appearance with regards to his premature greys.

The next problem you have is, info dumping. We go from the bathroom scene to the classroom scene where we get a play-by-play description of the ins and outs of the class. All the general stereotypes make an appearance: Jocks, Preppy girls, each with their own story of how they bullied the main character, a tough guy that jocks fear that isn't the protagonist, the smart kid who gets left alone mostly, the works. Now, only one of these characters is named, which is Rob. If Rob is an important character in this story, than only Rob warrants a true introduction.

Mind you, all of this happens before we even know our main character's name and again, it's a very by rote description of high school. You also have rambling tangents:some girls making fun of our main character in front of his mother in public some-time last June in a mall in Tampa on a sunny day that was too hot for- you see? Now these aren't your exact words or story, but you see how trailing off subject for tangents can distract your story? How it rambles but doesn't quite reach a point for the story to chew on? That part is unnecessary here. You can save this plot point and introduce it later when it's more relevant, rather than dumping it all on the audience in one fell swoop.

Stories are about gradual and natural introduction. If you dump too much to remember on our audience at once, they forget details or miss them entirely. Since none of the people (SoundCloud Rapper Kid, Prick, and Jock) weren't given actual names, it's immediately hard to remember them. They don't stand out, so right from the beginning, I've got no hook to remember these bullying details. So far with your story, I don't even know who your character is as a person other than someone who stares in mirrors and is the final stereotype: The Outsider. Now, I will say that stereotypes CAN work for a story and they can be done well, however, there's a line between well and by rote. Now, your story is very much in its first draft phase so, this kind of thing ALWAYS happens in a first draft! No matter who is writing it. It doesn't mean you're bad at what you're doing, it just means that when you edit, you've got to watch out for these things because they're easy to miss when you get used to your story.

Now speaking of editing. Your story does not begin in Chapter one (your first post). In fact, after reading both pages, your story really begins in Chapter two, when we finally learn your Protagonists name: Sy. You were "setting a scene" to TELL the audience how they should feel, rather than writing something that evokes emotion. In novel writing Show don't Tell, is most important. I don't want to be told "Oh man I've been bullied and that's why I'm this way" I want to SEE the bullying. You went on for quite a while describing all these separate bullying events but I didn't feel anything for Sy because I didn't get to experience them. If you started your story with his backpack being stolen and tossed around, and some boys mocking him while their girlfriends watched and giggled, that would have more emotional appeal than the: "Dear diary, today kids made fun of me." approach.

Likewise another problem we have: random characters going in after Sy's looks. So the two officers that Sy encounters didn't make much sense to me. Why would they randomly assume he looks suspicious without reason? In this day and age anybody can look suspicious and there isn't really an "edgy" look anymore. People just go "Oh he's one of the kids who does X or dresses X way" there's not any real surprise as to what kids in high school do or how they dress. Somehow, this notion of the 1950's "anybody in a leather jacket = bad" is still continuing as a story modus, when in modern times very few adults even care what kids wear to begin with unless it clashes with a dress code.

If Sy was going to a private school and purposefully snubbing the dress code, it could make more sense but, if this is just a general public school it doesn't. With regards to Sy being stopped: I know you said there are rumors going on about him being a druggie but, why would they then stop him based on his appearance, rather than to search his bag? It would be within the realm of plausibility if someone reported Sy as having drugs on him just to mess with him. The cops would have to search his bag if another student claimed he was distributing drugs and the principal would have to get involved, etc. Just stopping him to get in a wise crack? It doesn't make a lot of sense.

So, after that scene we're on the bus and we meet Peter and an old problem rears it's head: unnecessary description of appearance. When you see your friends in the morning, do you look at them and think "His icy blue eyes are a counter to my dark almost green ones. Jimmy's skin is a contrast in olive to my milky white"? if the answer to that question is no, than so too should your character's be. You can still describe your character without it feeling out of place and you don't have to spend an entire paragraph on it. Descriptions can be quick, painless and effective. I'll rewrite the scene with Peter to show you what I mean.

Original: My bus was completely filled to the brim with people but I was able to count on Peter to catch me a seat. He's kinda like Rob, I have no Idea how I'm friends with him. Except while Rob is still in the same kind as social circle as me, Peter is the youngest starter on the varsity soccer team. He's extremely talented and sociable and my friend considers him quite the looker. He's developed a tan from playing soccer in the Georgia sun all day, has sandy blonde hair, an athletic frame, and soft greenish blue eyes that counter my 'intense' icy blue ones, or as Peter describes them "Glacier Freeze Gatorade color."

As I sat down I notice his giant grin kinda morphed into a sympathetic smile. I knew what was next.
"You look upset." He certainly hit the nail on the head. That guy's sharper than a whip. Most of the time I just seem out of it, but Peter's pretty much cracked the code when it comes to my expressions.

Edited: The overcrowded bus filled me with dread. I imagined sitting three to a seat with total strangers, or worse, that prick who stole my backpack. A familiar tanned hand went up from the back of the bus and the calm of relief followed. I could always count on Peter to snag me a seat. I made a beeline for him and plopped myself down before someone could ghost by me and take it. Peter greeted me with his customary grin, still dressed in his varsity soccer uniform.
"So what's got your pasty ass today?" he jibed.
"Same thing that's prolly givin' you skin cancer." I stabbed back. We shared a chuckle, Peter was pretty quick on a lot of things, and bringing up my low spirits was one of them.

So in my edited version, I'm able to encapsulate two paragraphs worth of details and here's why: I got rid of the things that didn't really have a place. Mentioning the random friend who likes Peter makes no sense because we don't know who he or she is. So randomly saying "I have a friend who thinks he's hot" has no relevance here. If we meet that friend and it becomes a plot point later, then introduce that part later when it's more relevant. Also, there's no reason for Peter to essentially give the same description we've already received. You've already told us what Sy looks like, eye color included, so there's no reason to attribute the color of his eyes to "Glacier Freeze Gatorade." That descriptor actually made me stop reading because it is just inserted randomly for no reason. When you write descriptions, it's important to make the details flow and not derail the reader. Derailing the reader with heaps of unnecessary descriptions makes them more likely to put your book down.

Phew, okay so these are just some basic tips that you can use as you edit going forward. There are LOTS of things to learn as you go and haha if I tried to put all of them down here we'd be here for years. The good thing is, you can ask for feedback more than once! So as you edit and as you improve you can still keep asking about things and I'm sure lots of people here will be willing to help. (It's a really good community for feedback ). With regards to your novel, you're in the first stages so don't worry! All the things that I've noted here are things EVERYBODY and their mom has run into while writing a novel. It's not just you. You have an interesting premise and a good start so far, I'm sure as you go on and keep writing it'll only continue to improve. I think you're going to do just fine indeed!

All the best!

-Syn.