Some comments on the dialog:
- "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? Jackie" --> "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it, Jackie?"
- When he responds to what's bothering him, he says "...but I'm happy", it feels like an unnatural response. I think it'd fit better if he said something like "Nothing's bothering me"
- "I'm fucking tired of this over and over again Ya need help!!!" could use an extra word and punctuation. "I'm fucking tired of saying this over and over again! Ya need help!!!"
For the composition:
I think it'd be more interesting to show different camera angles of the ship flying around or it tilting back and forth as the driver is drunk. Maybe add some objects in the background and foreground that they could be dodging. You can also add some sound effects too