Hey guys! I’m new here — but definitely not new to writing. Fufufu… (6 months... wait still a newbie. Dang it!) though I’ll admit I’m still a bit half-baked. Anyway...
I’m experimenting with a racing fiction concept (currently mind map and super unrefined) set in a realistic Formula-style/inspired world.
The opening is an intense race where a rival driver crashes mid-race, and the MC struggles through the rain to salvage his first F1 season.
After the race, the scene cuts to investor/father confrontation.
I want to know: does this kind of opener work for readers outside of racing fans?
“This is a super early draft with absolutely rough writing. I just want to know if it’s imaginable, because I’ll use this as the first template to build around and make readable. I know right now it feels rough and jagged — like a nail in the back of your head — but that’s exactly why I’m saying this in the first place.”
Tarmac – Race Grid
Radio check, STRX.RGP #14.
“Lucas, you read me?”
“…Yeah. The shit’s at least audible.”
The engineer snorts through the comms. “Good. Even here. Check the DNS—”
“Got it,” Lucas says, eyes already locked ahead. “I’ll see for that.”
Mcs' gaze locked in front inside his helmet -- sharp, ready.
Cut
His visor hides the flicker of his eyes — focused, sharp.
Cut.
Verisa’s gaze from inside her helmet — calm, unblinking.
Cut.
Heiter Loewen — jaw tight, head slightly bowed.
weather
Above, drone cameras sweep over the grid. Clouds churn, thunder cracks somewhere far. The first fat drops of rain hit the tarmac.
Lights out
Five red lights.
They vanish.
The audience detonates into a single scream — “WOOOOOOOOOO!”
Engines explode into full pitch. Tyres spark off the line.
Lap 1. Two cars tangle into Turn 3, carbon shards flying.
Lucas dives past, threading through the mess.
Position board flashes: MC P16, VER P4, LUC P7, DAN (Daniel Loewen) P9, HED P6.
Radio – Pit call
By Lap 41, STRX calls it in.
“Box, box, Lucas.”
“I don’t need it,” Lucas fires back.
“Engine overheating. We need to stop.”
“I’m way behind. Fuck that.”
Chase – Verisa
Rain slicks the track now. His tyres hiss, cutting water. He’s flying — overtaking car after car until he’s behind Verisa.
“How the hell is she turning so fast…?” he mutters. Every apex she nails like it’s painted just for her.
He forces the throttle open — 310, 315, 320 km/h. Closing.
Disaster
Then — everything slows.
The rear tyre detonates.
The car whips sideways — G-force yanking his neck like a rope. Sparks shower in the rain, the cockpit shaking violently. Somehow he catches the wall at a glancing blow instead of full impact.
Fire blooms from the rear in streaks of orange against the rain-dark sky.
MCs’ recovery
MCs' position drops: P11 → P9 → P8 → P9 → P10 → P9 → P7.
His breathing is harsh, tunnel vision closing.
“Box now!” his engineer screams.
He jerks into the pit lane. crew swarms him — four tyres off, four on. 1 second faster than last stop.
“Softs,” MC barks.
“That’s reckless—”
“Do it.”
They do.
Return – spin save
He blasts out of pit, water curling off the tyres in arcs, sparks hissing underneath. Into Turn 6 — rear end steps out.
The car is halfway to a spin when he catches it — but now dead last, P15.
A crash ahead gifts him P14.
Front fight – Verisa vs Loewen
Last lap. Loewen leads, Verisa glued to his gearbox.
One final corner — Verisa slices inside. Loewen defends too late.
She crosses the line first. RRCL Cup winner — again.
Lucas exits quietly
Podium sprays champagne. Cameras click. Lucas slips away in helmet and suit, heading straight to his room.
Father scene
His father is already there, staring at the live feed on the monitor.
“RRCL Cup… Ver again this season,” he mutters. “She’s one crazy monster…”
The phone rings. MCs' father answers.
Father (into phone, tense):
“Yes… I understand… but you have to see the bigger picture… no, listen to me—”
(pauses, jaw tightening)
“Fine. We’ll talk numbers tomorrow.”
(hangs up hard)
Father (turns to MC, voice sharp):
“Fourteenth place.”
(beat)
“That’s what I had to tell them. Fourteenth. You realise what that means? Sponsors are pulling out. Investors are breathing down my neck.”
MC (breath, casual):
“We got farther than last time.”
Father (snaps):
“Farther? You didn’t even sniff P10!”
(steps closer)
“You’ve had an entire season. Not one performance that proved you belong out there.”
MC (quiet, calm):
“It’s my first year. I’m learning the car. The strategy wasn’t—”
Father (cuts in):
“Stop. Don’t give me excuses. You think they care about learning? They care about results. And right now… you’re just a name taking up space on the timing sheet.”
(MC stays silent. Pops another cashew into his mouth. Chews slowly.)
Father (coldly):
“You lost the season.”
(Long pause. MC exhales through his nose. Still no reply.)
Cut to the end of the flash-forward opening scene
Do you think this works as a hook for a racing novel? Or would non-racing readers bounce?
