Feesdback for chapter 1 and chapter 2 of my comic!

[Maria]

Hello! I am the creator of this comic and i wanted to know your opinions about it , feel free to share yours if you have one!

Genre of my comic is Fantasy/Adventure and next year i start wirh the third episode:

Sarya- an unexpected adventure in the land of Sun | Tapas

[ScribbleJay]

Hello! I would love to give some feedback, and I hope it helps!

First, your art is gorgeous. The linework is smooth and energetic, and the character designs are all interesting and unique. There is little shading, which makes the art look just a little flat, but black is used effectively to create contrast. The environments are richly detailed and beautiful. There are some panels that look a little rushed and there are minor mistakes with anatomy-- sometimes, the arms and legs aren't quite the right length, for example. I think you put more time and effort into drawing faces than you do into drawing the rest of the body. Still, overall, the art is great.
The story is one I've seen many times before. There isn't much that is unique or surprising about it, but I feel that it works, mostly because your detailed background art makes me feel immersed in your world.
Your biggest problem is, sadly, the dialogue. I didn't want to talk about it much because I can see that English isn't your first language, but the dialogue is so awkward and riddled with errors that reading becomes frustrating. A little awkwardness I can understand, but there are repeated words, simple spelling errors, sentences that make no sense whatsoever, words that don't fit inside of their word balloons, weird font changes, and so many other errors. I feel bad for criticizing it, since it is unfair to expect everyone to speak English at all, let alone perfect English, but I'd suggest either making a less dialogue-heavy comic or finding a native English speaker who can proofread your work.
Overall, I feel that your comic has a lot of potential, and I enjoyed reading it! I hope my review helped a bit.

Here's mine. It's far from perfect but I try.

Sideways | Tapas

[Maria]

Oooh thank you for the answer, your critics are very useful don't worry! <3 <3
- OMG i'm so embarrassed, you have right english is not my native Language i had a friend of mine that translator is that helped me for a while with the translations then from half chapter 2 i translated alone the pages.
For the third episode i hope that dialogues are better than the first two chapters x°°°D
I used different fonts because i don't liked them, i think i will continue to use my hand-drawing font and i will improve in this too!! xD
-For the story: I am honest i don't search the originality i want a story that is interesting that my readers can read the comic withouth getting bored.

I WILL IMPROVE I PROMISE

P.S.: SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH

[Maria]

I will follow your tips ^^

[ScribbleJay]

Glad I could help, and best of luck for chapter 3!

[Dantroy]

Hi!

So, I am going to go ahead and make a little critique of Chapter 1 by now, since I did not read Chapter 2 yet.

• Art:
  Your anatomy and poses are better than some professional comic artists's ones. Your sense for backgrounds is quite good too. But there is a HUGE problem that undermines that skill, and it's that there is very little readibility in the comic. The characters and backgrounds are made with the same line-width and color, there are no colors except black and white, and everything just looks really confusing and is really hard to read. Also, the characters get really mixed up because there is too much detail, and the detail is made with the same line-width and color as the silhouettes and basic shapes. In general, i looks a bit messy.

But your covers look amazing, and lack ALL the problems I just mentioned. Somehow, when you add color, the shapes become clear, and everything is nice and differentiated.

There is also one panel, the last panel on page 21, that looks A LOT better than the rest. There is no background, and in that specific scene it's not needed either. The characters are clearly defined with the grey filling, and their silhouettes are clear as water. There are still improvements you can make, but it's your best panel by far, at least on chapter 1, followed by the panel where the mouse-dude slashes the dude. I think adding different gray tones to the shapes, as well as some basic shadows and highlights, would help this problem a lot.

• Story: I am of the belief that no concept is bad. Everything can be made to work, if the characters and plot is well developed. In other words, no idea is bad, only the way it's developed can be bad.

So I am not going to talk about your concept, because even though it's not my specific area of interest, I think it works no problem. I have not read the second chapter, and there is nothing else past it either, and I believe this to be way too little material to judge things like character development and other story elements from. The story, for me, seems fine by now, aside from character differentiation problem, that relate more with the art than with anything else.

• Presentation: The speech bubbles feel a bit dense. Make multiple bubbles for multiple sentences. Other than that, the only problem is hat your english can get a bit confusing sometimes, so I'd advise you to work on it, if you don't want to write in your native language.

All in all, it's nice! It's art problems make the reading a bit tiring, but if you work on that, it'll be quite good.

[Maria]

Thank you for the answer!! I don't have time to color the comic and have no money to pay a colorist ç .ç... I will color it but i don't know when i will start to make it