Hi, Josh.
I've never met you; nor do I know the implicit history behind this thread, the relationships you have with the other posters BTL (below the line), or the frequency of your posts on similar subject matters.
However, I would like to commend you on asking questions. Your clear intention is to strengthen your stories by making your characters more believable, adding depth and dimension to their portrayal. Too many people think they know all the answers and balk at the notion of changing their approach. It takes a certain level of bravery/boldness/[insert idea here] to admit that you are struggling, and to ask for suggestions on how to become a better writer. (Even when some people do get worthwhile answers to their queries on self-improvement, they don't always heed the sage advice given.)
As a fellow neurodivergent person, I understand and can empathize with your desire to comprehend and apply the suggested solutions while still needing and/or desiring clarification on said application. Unfortunately there's not a "one size fits all" approach to your predicament. On the bright side, most of the advice given by other posters is valid, worthy, and worth exploring. Hopefully you'll find a solution that speaks to you.
I wish you the best of luck discovering what makes your characters tick, and imbuing them with the depth you seek to illustrate with your words.