KoreanTacos was kind enough to allow this post on the topic to show what we're about for critiques.
Next time, I'll make sure to click message and not reply if any of you want private feedback!
JODDAS VAPD Critique
Three things to keep in mind before the feedback:
- I’ll be using “I” instead of “we,” since Big Blunder is multiple people and only one of us is reading this piece. In this case… it’s me!
- This is just the opinion of one person. Honestly, my only goal in what I say is to show you what a single person likes and what I think you can improve on. I try my best to stay objective with it. Also, it's not about "adjusting" what you already drew/wrote, it's about maybe considering on changing the way you write/draw in the future if you think some of this is valid. I want you to keep creating. I tried to make a detailed critique that is very causal.
- Personally, I think your motivation of cheering people up is the best type of motivator for creativity. It really shows that you enjoy what you do, because you're happy in knowing that somebody out there might stumble upon JODDAS VAPD and make their day. While success is nice, happiness is nicer.
Format: It's great for mobile readers. I never had a problem reading the text or distinguishing characters apart.
Art: I found the art to be below average. Each character is easily recognizable due to key details in their appearance, so it doesn’t become confusing to the reader who is speaking. However, the backgrounds seem to only be detailed to the point where the reader has enough to interrupt the story being told.
For example, when Alma is explaining to Jen about why she isn't eating on Seafood Diet The Revenge, the main details besides the characters are a table, a fast-food style drink, burger, fries, and Jen's no nonsense chewing. While, all of these elements do enhance the story being told, especially Jen's chewing at the end, it seems to be the bare minimum presented in order to establish this.
In addition, while the characters/objects you draw are clearly recognizable, they do not have extensive detail in them. Frequently, the drawings appear blocky without much depth.
Has your art improved since the start? Absolutely. But, there doesn't seem to be a stark change in overall redesign. Your character models are improving, but the backdrops continue to be rather barren.
In regards to the art, and potentially changing your style, it depends on how you feel about it. Are you happy with your own art? Do you want to change it? Are there any other series in particular in which you admire the art?
If you do feel that way, then the next step is improving one’s art. This involves time, patience, and, at times, money if you choose to take classes. Fortunately, in our time, free resources available online to art classes are all available for improvement. But, also, when a person starts on the journey of self-improvement, the results of their labor are always in the back of their mind. And those results don’t always happen right away; however, they do happen eventual.
It’s like this dumb story I have about me learning how to whistle. About a few years ago, I was randomly frutrasted that I couldn’t whistle and really wanted to change that, so I checked out a few vidoes on YouTube and saw that it was all about tongue/teeth placement. Well… for about 1 month I would spend half an hour to 1 hour per day looking at a mirror trying to mimic tongue/teeth placement motions that I had seen. I felt that I trying this to no end, since I was literally blowing hot air out for half an hour a day. But… randomly after that 1 month, I randomly heard a horrid pitch erupt from my mouth.
Though I never realized what was happening during that past month, something must have been reworking to get that horrid pitch out. Now, I'm just an average whistler, since I choose to persist.
That's about it for the art portion, since I don't feel comfortable expanding on the art anymore than that, as I am a writer and not a penciler/inker/colorist.
Story/Dialogue: Each character’s persona through the ~120 episodes on Tapas is clearly established. In my eyes, it is clear to either a long-term or binge reader of the tendencies of each character. From Scott's failure with women to Patrick's zero-filter, I believe I got the feeling that you wanted to portray with the characters. No one seems out of place.
There were some episodes that got a hardy laugh out of me, especially the “RealD 2D” and “Guest Comic.”
In addition, I’m glad I got to know the group of friends you portrayed throughout JODDAS VAPD. They seem to be an enjoyable bunch. I felt like I was flipping through some sort of photo album and seeing all the highlights of this group's life.
Though the characters felt right, I thought the punchlines of some of the episodes weren’t established properly. At times, they fell flat due too much exposition/set-up/dialogue. Certainly, I feel that a “less is more” in terms of dialogue would be helpful for some of the episodes.
Also, JODDAS VAPD felt a bit too slice of life. As expected of slice of life, certain episodes were going through stituations experienced by many people. One such example is that of work troubles, where you portrayed troubles ranging from shopping carts not being put away properly to the cashier being blamed for all to persona 5 subworld combat.
Now, it's all good to write/draw situations that people experience a lot, since, frequently, people love relating their own lives to the lives of characters in art. But, at times, I thought the situations in JODDAS VAPD were presented in a manner that felt too fimilar. By that, I mean that it didn't add much to the commonly experienced situations that it described.
For example, I saw that you went with the common experience of pricey text books for college students. I saw the expensive text book stitauation occur in Heavy Burden and Book of Knowledge. Sure, the punchline is a bit different in both, but they didn't go far enough in being different enough to exhibit a stronger reaction from the reader.
Will I keep reading?
Personally, I would keep reading if I saw improvement in the storytelling and art. I think you’ve established strong, recognizable characters each with their own unique quirks. Additionally, I felt that I was flipping through a photo album of close friends. In that sense, I think it’s really sweet, and it brings back old memories of my friends and I getting into similar situations. Though it is sweet, it is difficult to hook readers into this type of story if it primarily focuses on very slice of life aspects without expanding on it. You are definitely capable on expanding into great storying telling, since I saw aspects of it in some of your episodes. Usually, I found your best episodes to deal with subjects outside the focus of the group of friends that you portrayed.
One thing, that might be helpful, is to limit yourself to one update per week, where you put a great deal of work into both the art and the story being told. If the response from that is better than you know you are going in a better direction (whatever that means for you).
I gave you likes to all of my favorite episodes that you created, so you have some idea on what made me chuckle. But, remember, that humor is subjective, so don’t place much weight on me at all. All in all, you succeeded with your goal and made a happy reader. I’m glad I spent the time reading your webcomic and getting to know the characters you developed. It rekindled some of my old memories and made me laugh. So, thank you for that.
Please tell me if you think this critique was good or not. I apologize if it wasn't to your liking. If you did like it, then maybe comment in that thread, so other users can see it, so Big Blunder can critique other people's pieces as well. However, if the critique wasn't to your liking, I understand.
-M.G.
Currently, we have finished with feedback for VikiKuli, KoreanTacos, Eworks01, and DaniBoy.
After starting this, we think that somewhere between 1-2 weeks is enough time (maybe even earlier) for us to complete feedback for your requested work. If it's especially long, then we may take even longer.
-Big Blunder Crew