Give Feedback to my Manga

[mirokulaw39]

Hi! I'm miroku! I'm not new hear at Tapastic but still I need a little from any of you
I'm working on a series (but yeah! I haven't been updating at all). The title is I. D.I.D. L.O.V.E. H.I.M..

I haven't received much feedback on how my manga was doing, so is there anyone who can at least give critiques or anything that they notice about my work!
http://m.tapastic.com/series/I-DID-LOVE-HIM#!/open-menu

Anything will help!
Thanks a lot in advance
(m_m)

[sarrowsmith10]

I read the first story about the twins. I like your style. It's very true to manga. Some things though. A lot of manga uses a scene setting panel (shows the environment, house, whatever), then drops out the backgrounds unless absolutely necessary. Some of your panels just have a lot going on, where simplifying it a little bit would add some clarity and make the emotions of a brother and friend passing away have more of an impact.

I also think the scene where the brother falls getting the flower was a bit rushed. This is an important part of your story. More panels and story development around it, would have been better.

Your dialogue and theme of your comic is very good. Keep creating!

[mirokulaw39]

Thank you so much for taking your time to read it!
I see. So some of the panels are very busy that makes it harder to understand what's going on. Maybe i need to study proper panels.
I was really hard to compress the story to about 10pgs, i think that's what makes it a bit rushed.
Thank you again!
(m_m)!

[Aspie_Gamer]

Hi.

The art is fairly good for a one shot. Taking your time would have definitely had me more invested in the story however. I'm guessing that by having us read your old one shot, you are making another one soon?

[mirokulaw39]

Thank you! I always have problem when it comes to making manga. I always rush things up! I have this habit of wanting to finish it quickly but the quality becomes low.
Yes. I'm planning to update this month. I hope to be more active that before.

Thanks for your time anyway!
(m_m)

[sarrowsmith10]

Well, storytelling is a skill. And telling a story in 10 pages is a very challenging feat! I think you really have to think about how you want to use your time and space. It's just like how a director works on a movie. He knows he only gets 120 minutes (usually). Sometimes he has to cut out things and spend more time on other things.

I think its good to thumbnail out your panels for your whole story (if its short) and move things around until you feel your pacing is right. Then sketch it out and send to a beta reader (I bug people at work on their lunch hours to look at my stuff. Bribing with cookies helps). Then once I'm happy with the layout and the flow, then I start inking.

Be the director of your comic. Make cuts. Lengthen scenes. Edit the text. Be the master of your craft.

And seriously though, its just so impressive to see a finished story. And it was a good story too. Good set up, good setting up the conflict, and good resolution. I think you are going to go very far if you keep creating. !!

[mirokulaw39]

Wow! Thank you so much! and for the advice too!
I usually get embarrassed to show drafts and names to others, i totally get no suggestions when my manga is still in progress.

Yes! Lately i've doing the thumbnail of my panels for my layout. And it helps a lot! Though the making process of the manga will get longer!

I'm planning to do a new one shot so i just wanted to know what field i have to improve!

Your opinion helps a lot! I hope you have time again next time give critique to my work!
Thank you!
(m_m)!

[sarrowsmith10]

You're welcome. You can message me any time and I will beta read or look at your sketches any time you want.

[mirokulaw39]

Really!!'??! Thank you so much!~ That will help!
(m_m)!