The struggle of learning to walk again has brought Kattar to tears more than once, but the only time it's shown (at least so far) is in the chapter "Tangerine Acedia."
I push the door open expecting to find nothing less than a white-faced ghost like the one I saw that night in the emergency room, with the blood on its face, and that sickening glow-
Instead, I see Kattar, standing - and that’s enough to leave me flabbergasted - make me wonder if I’m not dreaming again - but then I see how hard he’s leaning on the dining room table, the walker knocked over on its side like it fainted-
And he’s crying…face flushed up to the roots his hair, now grown out, framing and clinging to his face like black damask as the choked breathless sobs wring themselves from his lungs - and thin rivers of glass, like hairline cracks, stream down his pointed nose and plummet onto the polished wood shining like a mirror - a mahogany ocean.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so fragile and beautiful, and for one fraction of a second, that powerful urge to kiss him tears me in half - and my heart in two-
-I should go over to him - and give in. I should stay right here-