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Mar 2015

I had this idea after surfing 4chan. We'd all like our webcomics reviewed, analyzed, and criticized, right? But other people want that too. So I decided to do something like this.

Rules:

  1. Write a review for the 3 webcomics above your post.
  2. Make sure to make each review at least longer than two paragraphs.
  3. End each review with a ?/10 rating.
  4. Remember to provide tips and tricks to improve their webcomics.
  5. Post a link to your webcomic.

Please make sure to do this in one post, so we don't spam up the forum thread, and make it hard to see what three series are above your post!

I suppose I'll start! Here's my series, Magnolia Online56

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    Mar '15
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    May '16
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There are 118 replies with an estimated read time of 53 minutes.

I like the premise of the virtual world where you borrow from existing archetypes for your own characters. It helps the reader identify with the story.

Visually, I would try to create more contrasts between the online world and the physical world so that readers can clearly see when you jump from to another. You could even change the format of the speech bubbles so they have a more electronic feel than when the character interacts in the physical world.

Your scenery and colours are good in the virtual outdoors. A good mix there and pleasant tones.

Avoid putting so much text and captions. It can make some readers avid reading your work and only look at the pictures. I'll say, it's still easy to understand what you are trying to say visually.

I guess I'm up for two more strips. You should review three other strips too.

Cheers

My strip is Johnny Bullet.23 Only the first eight strips are here for now, the rest (up to strip 17) are on my Website.

@reonmeriwethe
So, first of all, I have to say I'm shocked by the production value put into this on a whole. Not just Power-J who brings a high level of quality with the art, but the sudden appearance of a full-on audio drama that I wasn't expecting at all. Given, it was clearly produced by professionals, but it was shockingly top-notch. This transcends into transmedia. I imagine this was largely personally expensed?

I'm also curious to know where or how you cultivated such a large number of subscribers early on. Were they from other series followings? Or from other sources that you publicized it on? I'd love to know how you went about your marketing, if any.

The comic definitely serves its audience and expectations in the vanilla (ha!) and fluffy way that the 4koma format slice of life comedy genre does, with an aesthetic that follows. There's not much to say beyond that as its not like there would be much purpose to getting critical over the innate shallowness; its like an enjoyable softserve icecream treat, but not a juicy steak, if that analogy holds.

If you and the artist had the bandwidth for it, I'd suggest rewriting and redrawing the opening pages with Alexandra in real life. It drags unnecessarily, and I was jarred by the weirdly sparse room with hard tiled floor. Like... who's room is like that, with junk on the floor? Heck, rather than redrawing/rewriting, you could literally cut everything before the panel where Rita logs in for the first time and the greeter greets her, and none of the preamble would matter, plus it'd hit the ground running, and nothing would get lost for it.

@ToonDoctor
I must say that I don't feel especially engaged (nor do I understand) what's happening in the comic. The strip format doesn't make any sense for the story you're trying to tell. More specifically, its jarring and weird that you didn't remove the Johnny Bullet logo from each strip considering you bulk uploaded them. They flow together well enough, but its completely unnecessary to have the logo there each and every time beyond the first one at the top. The story development and pace is jarring as well. You need to create more space to let the characters and world breath, and the comic suffers from a lot of "And then..." story beats, rather than interesting turns or developments, even within their own microcosms; you could have had them at the diner a little longer at the beginning, hashing out conversation that hints at the world (in a Twin Peaks kind of way), for instance.

Please watch this video, as I feel it will help any storyteller6.

I also feel like you would benefit from reading a comic like Revival5, in terms of portraying small town mysteries and crime for pacing and characters alone.


My comic is Time Fiddler7. Chapter 1 is complete, and its starting up Chapter 2.

(Gonna add this to my favorites to keep track of it! :'D Hope to participate in this soon! This is a wonderful idea!!)

Hi. Thanks for the review. I was intrigued by your comments. Johnny Bullet is a comic strip. It's not a decompressed long form comic.

Hello everyone,

First I would like to say I had a lot of fun reading your comics.

@reonmeriwethe About Magnolia Online.
You have a impressive number of episode and a growing following. Well done for that. I loved the characters and the Role playing game well represented. I had a hard time figuring out the order of reading in Level 11 but I had missed the numbers on top.
I'd love to see more about the life of the players as well. What if they meet IRL?!?

@ToonDoctor About Johnny Bullet.
I like the art. In between Noir and Simple line. I agree with @hehashivemind on the logo coming back every time. It did a "MacGruber" effect for me! (I mean funny). I'd recommend removing the title if you want to post it as a longer form.
I can see it working as a strip though. Keep it up. The story is building up quickly with action and suspence. That's great.

@hehashivemind About Time Fiddler.
Well done on you comic. I find your style amazing. I noticed it changed over time though, especially on how you draw the eyes.
It is definitely progressive and doesn't get in the way of the story. I like the "Tank girl" style of you mysterious character.
I'll be following your stuff closely from now on.

Again well done everyone on your comics.
Very inspirational for my own work.
I write Shades Of Men3, a action/adventure comic about hobos in modern Paris.
I posted the three first chapters on tapastic and am working on the fourth posting a page weekly on http://shadesofmen.jimdo.com1

Thanks for checking my comic.

See ya

Jrej

9 days later

Too bad this topic didn't work out.
I thought the concept was great!

I know it takes time to really get into someone's work and review it
but it's nice not to browse for once...

9 days later

This is a cool thread! I'm going to do my best to revive it.

@ToonDoctor : Johnny Bullet3
I really dig your style. There's kind of a retro feel about it. In fact, it really reminds me of Roy Lichtenstein, who I adore as an artist. There aren't a lot of episodes yet, so it's a little hard to see where it's going, but I'm definitely intrigued. There's nothing like a good mystery! I'm definitely going to check it out again after a bit to see how it's developed. Keep up the good work!

@hehashivemind : Time Fiddler4
I was actually already subscribed to Time Fiddler before I came upon this thread, but I'm happy to have a chance to formally review it! I really love this comic. The art is really fresh and the story is engaging. The character's expressions are on point; their feelings are clearly communicated even when there are no words. When I got to the end of Chapter 2 pg 6 and realized there wasn't another page, I was bummed out by the realization that I'd have to wait for more. Waiting is hard haha! I look forward to seeing how this story develops and how Sam adapts to her new job. I love Time Travel stories, and I'm really excited about Time Fiddler!

@Jrej : Shades of Men3
Wow. What a unique story! It kind of reminds me of Tokyo Godfathers, which if you haven't seen you should (it's about a group of homeless people in Tokyo who try to save a baby). I was immediately draw in by your characters and the setting. Paris is often romanticized so one doesn't often see the dark, grimy, "real"-ness of the place. I really like your art style, too. I like how David's coloring is bright while Lev and Ricky's is dark; it mirrors their outlooks on life (David=naive and overly optimistic; Lev & Ricky= a little bit jaded, to say the least XD). At this point, the only thing I would consider changing is the mixture of French and English. It's a little confusing that the flyer at David's parent's house has both French and English on it. I think it would be alright to have just English since that is the language of the comic, but honestly it's not that big a deal. It's just my personal preference ^.^ Overall, I'm impressed by the story and intrigued by the characters. I can't wait to see more!

My comic is Reus9, a fantasy mystery story about a wanna-be cop trying to solve the mysterious crimes plaguing her city. It's a fairly new comic, as it's still in the prologue, but I try to update one page a week. This thread isn't that active, though, so the prologue might be concluded by the time the next reviewer gets to it ^.^ Anywho. I'd appreciate any feedback you have!

@Cielle Thank you so much for this great review of Shades Of Men!
I did see Tokyo Godfathers a while back! Awesome movie... I have a similar initial plot but it's get totally different after that!
Thanks for the comment on french/english, It doesn't get mentioned too often. I chose to leave french for all writings to have a local flavor. But I can understand it could be distracting.
(The "missing" flyer was kind of important for the story and I've seen some of these in english)

Something to think about!

Thanks again. Haven't had detailed feedback yet.
Feels good! wink

@Cielle Aw, thank you so much. I'm glad you've enjoyed what there's been so far of Time Fiddler. This makes me quite happy smile

If you feel impatient, you can always find sneak peaks of whatever I'm working on at my Instagram, though they may be spoilery for anyone who's intently following the story.

Thank you so much!

25 days later

I just posted Chapter 4 of my comic1. That gives more content to review if anyone is interested.
I still think this topic could be helpful for a lot of people.

Let's make it a thing!

This post deserves to live!!

I want to contribute to the post, sorry if my bad english gets in the way!

@hehashivemind
Time Fiddler3 review

What I loved the most about this comic was the art and specially the characters, they're nicely constructed and drawn, everyone can be easily recognized and they're really lovable. The action sequences are great and that chapter in color was brilliant! I must admit though, that the scene where she gets fired and everything before that was a little hard to understand, but maybe it's just me. Overall, I loved the comic and I highly recommend it!
I can't wait to read more n.n

@Jrej
Shades Of Men3 review
At first sight I wasn't interested, don't get me wrong, it's just that it's usually not my type of story, but as soon as I was reading chapter 2 I totally got into the story, the characters are great, they're different, they are really deep, nothing is predictable and the art helps you to get in the mood of the comic.
I don't know about hobo's life, but I like your perspective. I hope to read more, I got so worried in that last pannel of chapter 4!

@Cielle
Reus1 review
I like how you start without the actual protagonist, I think it allowed us to have a better understanding of the world before we actually saw her.
I would recommend:
1.- Organizing text bubbles so they are easier to read, I had this same problem with the first chapter of my story, it helped a lot to read other people's work to see how they solved their problems so I could figure out how to do it myself. Also, you can try and read it over and over again, so you can detect any reading difficulties.
2.- Stablish just one or two fonts and a more limited palette for your fonts. That will make the reading experience a lot better and it'll look nicer.

The story is getting really interesting, I like how you started the comic with a riddle, nice touch! And thanks to the prologue, it's easier to understand the protagonist, I'm looking forward to see what's next in your story!

It was amazing reading your comics, they're so different!

My comic is Haytham3, a fantasy story about an antisocial guy who's betrayed by his best friend, a story set in an isle with mangrove forests and with a sea monster. Chapter 1 and 2 have a year of difference, I had to finish college haha And I'm still working on my thesis, but I'm not abandoning Haytham again.

@anakarenina
Thank you so much for taking the time to read it all and to give such a detailed review.

I'm glad the story did talk to you in the end. I know my first chapter could be hard to get into.
Especially because I drew it a while back (2012) and improved (slightly) ever since.

I don't have much experience with homeless people either. I read that a lot of them actually suffer from mental illness.
I'd like to include that into the story but not sure if that'd be clear enough.

One time, as I was living in Paris, I locked myself out of my apartment and ended up walking across Paris over night to get my spare key.
I observed a lot of homeless social scenes through this experience and tried to arrange them into a story.

Anyway, Thanks again for your kindness and your time!
Hope you'll like what's next as well...

@Jrej
You're welcome, you deserved more, I'd like to give better reviews, but I'm still learning. And I'm so glad to see people participating in a topic like this! That's something really inspiring.

And thank you for sharing your experience, must have been difficult but I see it helped a lot with your story, it shows, I'm excited for what's next in your story!

@anakarenina thank you for reviewing my story! I'm always hungry for feedback ^.^ I agree, the beginning font/text bubbles are kind of messy. I switched programs about half-way through the prologue, so I've been dragging my feet to go back and change it because I have to go back and forth between PS and MS5 =_= but I should get around to it sooner rather than later haha. Reus is my first webcomic, so I'm learning a lot as I go along!

thanks again for taking the time to read and review Reus! I've started reading Haytham, and the art is really pretty!! the story is intriguing as well ^.^

as much as i want to participate and my comics being reviewed...i cant say much advice seeing im a amateur artist myself XD Haha LOL

You're welcome, it was my pleasure! n.n

And I'm excited to see your growth, mostly because I'm in the same boat, Haytham it's my first comic project, so it has gone through some changes, and I'm glad to read that you're enjoying it! Thank you so much for reading my comic!! : D

I'm sure you'll get where you want if you keep on working, keep up the good work Cielle!

@Zannen00
Don't worry about it, just try your best and write what you think can be of help, I don't consider myself an expert, but I believe everyone can be of help as long as you give your best. And also you can obtain a review of you comic, come on, you can do it! n.n

15 days later

@Zannen00 You don't need to be a good creator to review. Just to be a good reader!
Just giving your raw feeling about the comic can help!

Anyway... Hope this topic doesn't get lost again. Such an interesting concept.
It may be too long to read everyones work and share thoughts after all.

@anakarenina I AM SO FUCKING GLAD TO REVIEW HAYTHAM7
Haytham is a fantasy webcomic with a very interesting plot.
Characters: they are touching, human, with defects, weak and strong points, good and bad intentions. They are credible and you can feel sympathy for them. I specially like Annibal, and Inna.
Art: the art is simply gorgeous. The author, when she colors the pages, shows an absolute mastery for colors. It is a simple coloring in a way but it works perfectly. Besides, you can see her evolution since the first pages of her comic. The narrative and the dialogues are also great, no mistakes. And she draws breath taking landscapes. SERIOUSLY
Plot: not very developed yet, but it seems quite interesting and catching.

ratek: 10/10
tips: hum, maybe trying to use different shots for dialogue scenes?

@Zannen00 and IMAGICA=verse1
charachters: by this moment I only know about the mother and the protagonist. I can't say much because there are only 3 chaps, but I think they are typical cliche characters, unless something is revealed later. Which it is not a bad thing huh? I can feel identificated with the protagonist's desire to help his mother ): and that is a good point
art: grays and blacks are well distributed, I like that. It is legible, characters are easy to identify by their main features. The author also takes risks drawing complicated perspectives of the city, phew! A difficult task
plot: I am not very fond of stories about teens discovering their unknown powers, I'll give you that, is a personal taste. Apart from that, it seems like a nice plot. I like the tragic part about the father and the whole bank thing. Banks are evil. Anyway, there are just three chapters upoloaded!
rate: 6/10
tips: I would recommend to pay more attention to the fonts you use for your texts. It is weird to see so many changes on the font size and type, use the same size for everything in speech bubbles and narrator squares (except for yells of course lol) but never mind! because I see you changed that by the end of chapter two. My tips are...take care with the text font from now on, and practice on human anatomy and facial expression

@Cielle and Reus
characters: I like them, I like how they are grumpy or lonely or serious or nice, that is variety. I like when a character is not "perfect" in the sense he/she has defects (like grumpiness!) The design itslef is also good
art: The colouring is good, and the backgrounds are great too. Backgrounds are indeed better than characters. I don't like the use of onomatopoeia like "slides" or "glares" or whatever is used to describe an action, they get to my nerves and they indicate to me like if you don't feel sure about your ability to describe an action by just your drawings and you have to show it with words. Onomatos are meant to imitate sounds, not to state actions. I know this trend is very fashionable nowadays....I just don't like it.
plot: it is the best thing of the webcomic. The plot seems interesting, it is a mystery what will happen next and the author leaves some cliffhangers, good! there are many elements in the world the author has created and I can see a lot of care and work here.
rate: 7/10
tips: I would stop using that onomatopoeias. I would work a bit on facial expression too and above all, in drawing adult/old people, because the commisioner has the same face as the younger characters except for some wrinkles. Old faces are much more than just wrinkles

and mhere is my webcomic The Ninth Circle1 feel free to evaluate it