Hello may you please give feedback on my comic?

xingchenn7 2022-08-30 17:34:08 UTC #1

Hello I tried making a short manga, may you please give any feedback for improvement? reads from right to left like traditional japanese manga. Thank you.

AxemanRifflord 2022-08-30 18:34:45 UTC #2

For starters, as a flow tip (at least for vertical scrolling), you generally don’t want the first panel someone will see to be the second they read. (Though I understand you’re going for more of a page layout.)

Second, get your arm proportions right.

I know the above is supposed to be a goofier scene, but the folds on her sleeves implies a sense of weight and physicality. Making it feel less like it was exaggerated and more misshapen.

xingchenn7 2022-08-30 21:06:47 UTC #3

Thanks alot for the helpful feedback! I agree with both of the things you said:slight_smile:

lizardlullabye 2022-09-04 05:14:13 UTC #4

The manga is easy to follow and read. The story is overall sweet and wholesome. I like the part with hot sauce and the phone call with her dad. However, the supporting cast is bit rough.

For example, I thought the "negative" comments about Joy's dinner at first was just her anxiety because people don't typically nitpick food like that (as far as I know ... while I nitpick this manga, oh no!). It is drawn similarly to Joy's previous anxious thoughts of her crooked piping. This weirdly reinforces that her "flawed" food will upset people which is does not seem to support the story's message: It's OK to not be perfect.

Another note on Joy's anxious thought. It might be better to "block out" the customer's faces because it is Joy's anxiety of the "unknown" judgement of her food. She's focusing more on "negative" comments from this vague stranger. Not showing eyes can be more terrifying (like anxiety!)

system 2022-10-04 05:14:22 UTC #5

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