How do you deal with a psychological trauma?

[Klaustasya]

Quite a general title, i know XD
Let's say for example that you have an issue in dealing with personal critique, that are more like abuses rather than an elaborated opinion, but you still take it into consideration and you get into a trauma for that where you are unable to do what that person have criticized you for and you get into block-situation.
Has this ever happened to you?

[unknown_user]

Sure. After such an events I had a block since I felt ashamed for everything I draw or write. But I still was able to do creative works (and wanted to do them) for myself, without showing, when I concentrated on the process itself and drove away any thoughts about how others could perceive what I'm doing. Also I started to destroy everything soon after creation, to release myself from shame. That how I was dealing with it for a while. But it was my reaction as a teen; now I consider this reaction as too radical and... sad?
Nevertheless, I consider this "concentrating on the process itself and driving away thoughts about how others could perceive your work" as a productive part of this reaction, which can be utilized further.

[J.Lovelace]

I had that kind of block with my writing.
A few people said that how I write is weird, then a friend of mine wrote a long critique about things that she disapproved of, and then another one offered to rewrite a whole chapter for me, because pointing out all the mistakes would take too long.

I know they didn't mean to harm me, but it got to me anyway. I cringed each time I saw my text files. I was unable to write for along, looong time.

A lot of people would advise to develop a thick skin. But there's something my boyfriend once said about having thick skin, which was pretty deep: "No matter how thick leather is, when put under constant stress it will wear off and tear apart eventually." This applies to a lot of things, including a human mindset. I think about it a lot.

Been criticized by my family a lot since I was a kid, so I'm not surprised I turned out that way. It's easier to cope with that when you know the cause of the trauma.

Luckily the cringe went away when I forced myself to write a new story and slowly and steadily I enjoy writing again.

[Klaustasya]

So you solved your trauma by taking a long break and then forcing yourself to write again, right?
I didn't get criticized for my works, but as my whole being an "artist" and ended up absorbing things as "you're not okay" "you don't really like this" aaaand....got the trauma by myself basically.

[mariusthered]

you ignore the comment. if you can see that anything about the comment has value that's a learning curve. but i find that most negative comments on the net comes from people who are either jealous of your work, or have about as much talent that they could not even get something stuck on a fridge door!.
work for yourself not the crowd, reading negative crap will do one thing.....kill your creativity

[J.Lovelace]

I'm sorry to hear that. hug

Yeah, I needed time to warm up to it again. It's kinda like people get scared by something and then need time to regain the trust?

Reminds me how I was playing a game once that I didn't know had horror elements in it. A zombie appeared and killed my character in two hits. I got so terrified of that, I dropped the game for a few years XD But then at some point when I got older I felt bad that I owned a game that I never finished, so I started playing it again. Of course the zombies still terrified me, so I just ran away from them whenever I could, or stocked up on a lot of items to throw at them while screaming XD Must've looked hilarious to watch me do it lol
But I beat the game, and it felt amazing XD

When I wrote again, I didn't show that piece to anyone right away. The small story was sitting in my files until I brought it up to my new friend. We had a good laugh together as it was a comedy. She's a great person that loves to write too, yet she didn't pick on my writing at all, she just focused on the story itself which was very nice. She only points out mistakes to me when I ask her to do so. It prepares me mentally and I respect her a lot too, so it's easier to deal with critiques that way.

So that was a factor that helped me with it as well.

[Klaustasya]

Thank you hugs back
I'm glad you managed to get out of your block somehow! And the game story it's really funny to hear XD
Since the healing process is different from person to person, i'm just thinking about taking a veeeery long break (might take me years as well) but i do need to get back at drawing eventually, because i write stories that i can only express into images (comics). Family and the doctor said i will almost surely be back at it one day (if it's true that once you've been hit by the art bug it will be forever) but i feel so bad at doing it atm, so yeah...super duper break incoming ^^" thank you for your answer!

[J.Lovelace]

I hope the break will help and you can enjoy drawing again
I wish you all the best

[Zin_Trollborn]

I decided I wasn't going to deal with my own emotional bullshit anymore.
I don't feel happy to draw anymore? fluck it, I'll go do something else.
People unhappy about my work? Wow they have too much free time to get unhappy at something that isn't going to change their life, fluck'em too. (not talking about constructive criticism which I enjoy).

I'm still happy to get nice feedbacks but basically, I work with this :

Is this fuckitol-attitude of mine making me egoist and bitter? Probably and I embrace it.

[Klaustasya]

Yeah, normally people would just trash any critique that is not constructive but just plain aggression, too bad i didn't protect myself like this XD but you're right

[StrixandLem]

Yeah, it happened to me, and I felt terrible about it. It took me a long time to process the trauma, because I could not separate the criticism from the personal attack (as it was in that case).
Finally a friend said to me, "That's how it works: those who don't have anything good to say try to destroy what good you could say. Don't give up!"

[Zin_Trollborn]

Aww I just wish people would trash and insult my work because I have a really fun time dealing with that kind of persons XD
But it's fine, take your time to get yourself back together and come back when you'll be ready ^^

[ratscout]

If someone is literally just trashing your story, don't even give them the time of day. They don't deserve it. You seem to be a lot more of a popular creator on here, so your work is going to get both a lot more praise, and a lot more flat out abuse than the rest of us, so if I were you, I would genuinely consider getting a therapist for your mental health (if you don't already have one). They can help you discover coping strategies that work for you and that will help keep your stress and anxiety down. Otherwise, there are other(natural) techniques you can do to keep your stress down. Some suggestions from my sisters who are doctors:

Listen to music with a beat (i.e., rap, rock) in your right ear to stimulate your logical, left brain. It will help calm you down.
Inhale essential oils through your left nostril.
And a piece of advice from me: Make a list of everything you love and are good at when making art !

[seasa]

this has been a long time struggle of mine that sometimes i think that i'm too weak for this (well,i'm a pretty sensitive person).
i have an on-going series that i start rebooting/remaking recently due to inconsistent art and long hiatuses. the comments i get from discover are fine, probably because there's only a few of them per updates, but recently i started uploading my own language version again, and every updates makes me anxious.
several people keep telling me that my character's faces are too long and that i should fix it, another one told me that my drawing of hands is straight up ugly, i stared at my drawings for a long time to see anything wrong with the hands and i seriously don't understand it. if they genuinely want to support me i understand, but sometimes with the way they're written it feels like they're just passing by while trying to point out any bad things they can find.
there are also comments telling me "aren't you're bored you keep remaking this comic" when i started uploading there again, another one swore at me and called me labile (emotionally unstable) when i told them i decided to remake my comic.
right now i'm still torn to decide whether i should upload there again or not, as i'm still not recovering from these... i guess in the end i'll wait for a few more episodes and upload them later on, but still, this used to be fun but now i don't even know why i'm doing this anymore

[Klaustasya]

Thank you very much for your reply ////// i already screeshoot the natural methods you listed and i'll try it up soon ^^
About the therapist, i do have one so i should be okay under that point of view and the healing therapy for this issue has just started, it will take a long time but it's fine

[Klaustasya]

This is very similiar to my case.
I'm sorry for what you're going through but i do understand getting stressed for other's people comments: i'm hypersensitive, and this is something that my doctor said, like not just psychologically so i really tend to be emotive unstable all the time and get traumatizee by everything, but this is why i have a therapist (though i saw some small improvement just after 5 years).
Maybe you should take a break from that site? Or try another one! But don't get discouraged with other's people opinion, and toss away everything that is not constructive: that "labile" thing is plain verbal abuse in my opinion, don't do the same mistake of me, taking everything i get because it's gonna kill your creativity in the worst scenario.

[QueenofBabyLoon]

Happens to me every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.

But what I have realized is the following, there is a very specific form of critique that is the only one worth registering. When people desire to give their opinion as a means of improvement, they truly use the sandwich method. Even unconsciously.

Same thing with writing. When something grates on my nerves badly, I just ignore it and don't take the time to criticize it. People don't lose their time being dismissive unless they want to hurt you. Keep that in mind. The ugly, mean comments are meant to hurt you. They might sound objective, they might even look like they raise some interesting points. But no one will invest time criticizing something they hate. Unless they want to hurt you. The evil intent overthrows all validity of the comment. However, if I see something with potential that is badly executed and if I decide that it is worth the time I will invest into writing a comment about it, then I will unconsciously use the sandwich method. Because, as written above, I decided it had potential, there is something to sandwich the critique between that is worth mentioning.

But that doesn't help you. Even if the intent is evil and you know it, it still stings and hurts as fudge. I like to write a mean reply in Word. Something like: "You illiterate monkey, who ever gave you the right to criticize something you are one thousand lightyears away from understanding?! I would like to meet the person who gave you your high school diploma so I can slash his tires." Actually, my replies are much less polite than that. Giving back meanness liberates me, it defuses a bit of the pressure. Once I am done writing the reply, I generally just delete it because the negative energy has been partially exorcised out of me. I don't say there aren't some remnants of doubt and self-loathing, but they are definitely less than if I had taken the criticism lying down.

[Habonde]

Yo I feel this. Negative comments that come off as aggressive make my anxiety spike.
What I usually do in situations like that is wait for my anxiety to wear off before I do anything. Most of the time I usually just ignore comments that aren't helpful in any way because I just don't have the energy to deal with people who just want to bring you down.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this by the way. ;; hugs
Getting remarks like that can really take a toll on your confidence in your work. I hope you're able to get a boost in creativity again soon so you can get out of that block! ;v;

[Klaustasya]

Untill a month ago i used to ask myself "why people even bother commenting things they don't even like?" and just recently found the answer (in your previous reply too): because they want to hurt you, just as you said.
Now, i don't know if it's just me, but i gain absolutely nothing from hurting someone online. I might answer a bit unpolitely sometimes but only if i was hit on a sensitive spot.
I don't want to sound like i hate the people online (because otherwise i wouldn't spend my time being here) but i admit that they are often way more cruel when you can't see them in real life.
I don't think there would be many people directly telling to your face that "you suck!" or any other kind of insult to you and your work, but maybe i'm wrong ^^"
For example, what played a huge emotional weight in the critique i received (it was more bullying though) was having it from a very popular comic artist. She was still nobody to call me "garbage" but maybe i got scared by her numbers, and thar was silly.

[Klaustasya]

Thank you hugs back
This is the first time that i get blocked in art for this kind of situations, usually if people criticize my work i don't care too much but my persona is a different matter unfortunately.
I'm trying to recover i guess ^^