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Sep 2020

This is just an idea, but you know how people draw like...fanart that is clearly secretly their OC? That they're too afraid to draw/afraid to be judged by/afraid to do poorly at drawing their OC so they draw Link but he's like...a completely different person?

So...what if you did a draft where drew a storyboard of Drachenseele but it was all Muppets? It's just a sketch anyway that no ones gonna look at it and get confused, right? And you know who they're supposed to be. Then later, when the dust settles and you feel better--just change those Kermits into your OCs.

(not saying I've never done this with my own stories, but I aaaabsolutely have. It's really freeing to work with fanart, it's sort of difficult to work with OC's sometimes because we hold our own original content to higher arty expectations. Like I follow this one artist who only draws Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy, but they've done it for so long that now it's...very much OC wish fullfillment. They've drawn Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy in a nightclub, a bakery, and more recently, pooping on two separate toilets. Not many people can draw their favorite romance OC's pooping on two toilets in the same bathroom while looking at eachother. And few can draw it as well as this particular artist did (it was very impressive! For so many reasons!) But you can, if it's Jack Frost.)

And like sometimes it is hard to draw when there's a lot of anxiety around a particular project. I've never had a personal project give me that much anxiety, but when I do have a hard time getting my pen to the tablet, I...stop drawing. Sometimes you need a break. Sometimes you need a break for a while from a project that may have some heebie-jeebies attached. I got a comic I started eons ago, and it broke in a nasty way--I lost like...over 2/3ds of the initial comic. It's a hot mess in it's current form because of it. I don't really think I'll ever go back to it because...that frustration comes back.

It takes time to let go of whatever we consider a "failure" (which it's not) but luckily we do more than just one project. I am very, very thankful I took those years off (It's been 5 years since). And the time I've spent away from that particular project I've spent getting much better at storytelling doing different things. When the North wind blows the right way through the trees, I'll know when I'm ready to start that project again. But it's not today.

You're gonna live a long time, and if you can't draw Drachenseele today...maybe you can do it later?

I just stream my stuff on discord art servers. Seems like a simple answer but that's just cause i don't know exactly why it helps. I just put my stuff in front of an audience and essentially i try to get stuff done so the people can always see me engaging. I've only done this recently and so far, the doubt has kinda slipped away. The hardest part is starting but even that doesn't seem to be an issue.

For so long i was sure of myself but the doubt kept me from pursuing anything. Now with the pieces there, all i need is that push to keep me going.

well i have worked at the 110% fuel before, when i was working two jobs and going to school full time. Its amazing what you can do. I know that feeling. efficiency but i think that you might just be mentally tired. take a break and come back to it. (don't take too long of a break)

i quite one job and I ended up taking about 2 weeks off to just relax, which is hard when you are in the 110% mindset. if you have your thumbnail sketches done, take a break. reward yourself. honestly, self reward goes along way. now I feel like a struggle with initiative, as i lost my other job due to the pandemic. when you break that cycle of work-work-work you feel a little.... slow. i guess. the way i deal with this is I i create a weekly list of things i want to accomplish, and mark them off. like: ink 5 pages. I will have a box for complete the whole task, and 5 smaller boxes to mark off as i go. sometimes seeing your progress motivates you to continue forward. Another thing you can try is breaking up your work flow. I find that it can be daunting to draw 25 pages, tone 25 page, and etc... at once, so i break it up. maybe i'll draw 4 pages, ink 2, and tone 1. or i just write my script all day. it really depends on how i feel, but changing up what you are doing can help too.

I agree. its interesting how when you have less time, you can output higher. hobbies are great stress relievers. And breaking your project into smaller parts can also ease the stress. you need to balance stress, and output.

If it's not fun, and it's low-key harming your mental well-being: STEP AWAY FROM IT

People have stepped away from more important things like careers! They get an incredible amount of stress put on them and decide NO MORE, their health suffers, their mental health suffers, it's not worth a great paycheck if you're ill and cannot work in any capacity.

This story is not paying your bills, you don't have to go through with it, you have no obligation to engage in this thing that is sucking the joy from you.

Currently you're enamored with the idea of what it could be, but without a solid plan, it could become anything, it could even turn into something you hate.
You say your original idea was to make it a successor to Bionicle. But first you have to identify what made Bionicle so great, what it did to resonate with people, with YOU. Don't start with drawing, start with plotting and writing. Make an outline or write out little scenes, see if it captures YOUR interest. Don't think about what other people will say about it.

Personally I don't put any pressure on myself except to finish a story once it's started and there's a lot of engagement. But still I'm pretty lax about it. If I'm not feeling well, yeah I'll miss some updates. Or if I truly come to hate it, I might drop it (hasn't happened yet). I'm not contracted with another party to produce this stuff.

Also I know none of the things I create will be perfect. And I don't view any of them as a masterpiece. They're just fun things I indulge in. I'll always have more ideas. Some fizzle out, some stay on the back-burner forever, some get enough creative inspiration to spur me into actualizing them into a comic or novel for others to see. I've only got so much time on this earth, I have to prioritize things that I know I can realistically accomplish without compromising my health or sanity.

I'm done with putting pressure. Making something from start to finish is already more than most people achieve, so thats good enough.
If feeling too much presure, just remmember Nobody cares how much you bleed over something, put your healt first.

Thanks guys for all the advice and help. it really means a lot to me. I just kinda feel stuck between a rock and a hard place with the Dragoons because I do genuinely love them and want to make a comic about them, but for whatever reason I just can't.

Maybe it would be good idea to sketch things out and let myself cry. maybe that would finally help me release my feelings and see how that helps. I'm not sure.

Thanks. Yeah, I think that might be the good emotional release I've been needing for a while now actually.

Time to sketch then :wink:

You could also try writing a script before you start sketching. Then again, if that's not the way you work feel free to ignore my advice

As someone who started publishing online what i considered at the time as one of my magnum opus......

Remember that what becomes your masterpiece is not set in stone. You may love your current project and that`s cool, but maybe in the future you will do something even better.

When you stop seeing your current work as your "ceiling" you will stop putting unneccesary pressure on yourself.

When I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself I remind myself that just cause my expectations are up there. I have to remember that I got to pay my dues and work my way up so I can have the skills and experience that meets my own expectations.

Accept that you will make imperfect works. and once you do that, Embrace it! Heh! Heh! Heh! One of my mottos is too make as many mistakes as you can now so you can get it out of the way and learn faster.

I noticed that you said when drawing something that only yourself will see. Try drawing with no expectations. A doodle of nothing in perticular. The Goal: don't think about it and just have fun, doesn't have too look good (or look like anything). re connect why you enjoyed drawing in the first place. Drawing for the sake of Drawing itself.

We all want to beat the final boss, but we all have to grind to get there.

Heh.

I think that seems to be the biggest problem I have, I subconsciously feel that the DRagoons gang is my ceiling and that I'll hit my peak with that and it;'s all downhill from there. I have no idea where it came from, but it just feels like that's what's been stopping me all these years from really going after my passion like some form of mental ceiling of sorts.

part of me just worries about disappointing my fiends and supporters for some reason with my stuff, too as well the more that I think of it.

They like your stuff because you're the one who makes them. They won't be disappointed with something you give your all into

That's actually really helpful for me to hear. I really needed to hear that right now. Thank you so much for saying that. :slight_smile: :blue_heart: :yellow_heart:

I will tell you a secret......there is no ceiling. As long as you are willing to improve and practice, your capabilities will increase.

A trick that helped me to overcome these worries was to understand that different works appeal to different audiences. Even a genuinely amazing story will not be everyone's cup of tea.

That is both excellent advice on both ends of things. I really needed to hear both of those ends recently today. I should really focus on just "If you build it, they will come" when it comes to DRachenseele and just write what I want to write and let people who like my stuff as opposed to burning myself out trying to make something that appeals to everyone everywhere if that makes sense.

Yeah, makes sense. You can't appeal to everyone everywhere anyways, nobody can, so no need to pressure yourself

Good point on that end. I'll try to keep that in mind as i work. :slight_smile: