Dude, you first pages are so pixalated the text is completely uneligible. Before I was featured on the daily snack, the staff asked me to increase my font by 2 to make sure it's readable on a mobile so let me tell you : you'll never make it to the DS with this low resolution pages.
And not only about the daily snack but if you want more readers, re upload those pages and your banner (what's up with that, what kind of res and format did you work with ?) so that is looks more professional (you seem to have taken the hang of it at the end) because when we go back to the beginning, we just stop at "I can't even read the dialogues, there's no way I'm gonna squint to try to decypher them, I'm on my computer, I shouldn't have to ! Gonna find something else to read."
No trying to be mean, just giving advice 